Venting feeling lonely

[MMOSTHATED]

So I'm not rlly sure exactly how to start off but I've just been feeling more and more lonely as more years go by. I seriously don't have any friends in my life. I guess I talk to people in my day to day environment but that's it. Nothing besides that. I can sometimes think I'm friends with someone but then they just straight up tell me that we aren't friends, just "acquaintances" (this is because I always think I'm more important to people then I actually am. Overvaluing myself sort of?) And it definitely hurts. It seems like everyone around me has their own circle/group of friends or maybe someone they consider their "bestie". So everyone has somebody and u can obviously see that but I'm kinda just "there" existing and wandering around. I don't have anybody. During lunch breaks at this place I work at, I always sit alone with nobody and sometimes even feel weird. At times I will sit with other people just so that I can feel a bit included and also look less like a loser. They will talk to each other and just ignore my presence like I'm not there. It feels like I'm invisible and it's the worst feeling. But this isn't something new tho. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. Since I was younger. When we had group activities at school, I was that kid that would always be left with nobody and would be paired with the teacher. I just never really fit in anywhere. I would get rejected by my friends a lot in primary school. Despite this, I feel like it's the only time in my life where I had any real friends (in school only anyway) I remember this one kid I knew and we were really close. He would invite me to his house and his birthday parties and stuff. When it was time for highschool, we unfortunately didn't get accepted into the school same and the two of us were split up. I was able to get his number though and we talked for literally only a day and never again. I would message him and he would never respond back (idk what's he doing now) This is how it goes when I talk to people online as well. Im just constantly ignored. I don't know why everybody just ignores me. It's like my existence bothers people and they would probably feel much better if i weren't alive because that's honestly how I feel a lot of the time. What makes me feel worse is constantly seeing everybody have fun with their friends, making memories while you sitting alone there watching them. It makes me jealous and sometimes I feel a bit mad at them because I'm literally sitting here with nobody and y'all are ignoring me :( At home is when it's the worse. I always get this heavy feeling of emptiness deep in my chest. It's been like this for a few years now and there are times where I just feel like breaking down. On weekends and holidays, I'm just at home at on my phone doing nothing for the whole day while everyone else is having fun. I've missed out on some much. It's not fair. I never even asked for this life. I don't see how I can possible keep this up.

 

[chudcell]

So I'm not rlly sure exactly how to start off but I've just been feeling more and more lonely as more years go by. I seriously don't have any friends in my life. I guess I talk to people in my day to day environment but that's it. Nothing besides that. I can sometimes think I'm friends with someone but then they just straight up tell me that we aren't friends, just "acquaintances" (this is because I always think I'm more important to people then I actually am. Overvaluing myself sort of?) And it definitely hurts. It seems like everyone around me has their own circle/group of friends or maybe someone they consider their "bestie". So everyone has somebody and u can obviously see that but I'm kinda just "there" existing and wandering around. I don't have anybody. During lunch breaks at this place I work at, I always sit alone with nobody and sometimes even feel weird. At times I will sit with other people just so that I can feel a bit included and also look less like a loser. They will talk to each other and just ignore my presence like I'm not there. It feels like I'm invisible and it's the worst feeling. But this isn't something new tho. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. Since I was younger. When we had group activities at school, I was that kid that would always be left with nobody and would be paired with the teacher. I just never really fit in anywhere. I would get rejected by my friends a lot in primary school. Despite this, I feel like it's the only time in my life where I had any real friends (in school only anyway) I remember this one kid I knew and we were really close. He would invite me to his house and his birthday parties and stuff. When it was time for highschool, we unfortunately didn't get accepted into the school same and the two of us were split up. I was able to get his number though and we talked for literally only a day and never again. I would message him and he would never respond back (idk what's he doing now) This is how it goes when I talk to people online as well. Im just constantly ignored. I don't know why everybody just ignores me. It's like my existence bothers people and they would probably feel much better if i weren't alive because that's honestly how I feel a lot of the time. What makes me feel worse is constantly seeing everybody have fun with their friends, making memories while you sitting alone there watching them. It makes me jealous and sometimes I feel a bit mad at them because I'm literally sitting here with nobody and y'all are ignoring me :( At home is when it's the worse. I always get this heavy feeling of emptiness deep in my chest. It's been like this for a few years now and there are times where I just feel like breaking down. On weekends and holidays, I'm just at home at on my phone doing nothing for the whole day while everyone else is having fun. I've missed out on some much. It's not fair. I never even asked for this life. I don't see how I can possible keep this up.

If you need to talk im here. Ill be your friend

 

[MMOSTHATED]

If you need to talk im here. Ill be your friend

Thank u I'll think abt it (Im a bit nervous srry)

 

[trav4d0fudid3x]

i enjoy the way you described your feeling, i feel the same when it comes to relationships in general

 

[Lost Kin]

Even though I have some good friends I often find myself spending my time alone, mostly due to self isolation. I can relate to the things you said above and the loneliness can really eat you up from the inside. I'm also open if you want someone to chat with.

 

[The Disqualified]

So I'm not rlly sure exactly how to start off but I've just been feeling more and more lonely as more years go by. I seriously don't have any friends in my life. I guess I talk to people in my day to day environment but that's it. Nothing besides that. I can sometimes think I'm friends with someone but then they just straight up tell me that we aren't friends, just "acquaintances" (this is because I always think I'm more important to people then I actually am. Overvaluing myself sort of?) And it definitely hurts. It seems like everyone around me has their own circle/group of friends or maybe someone they consider their "bestie". So everyone has somebody and u can obviously see that but I'm kinda just "there" existing and wandering around. I don't have anybody. During lunch breaks at this place I work at, I always sit alone with nobody and sometimes even feel weird. At times I will sit with other people just so that I can feel a bit included and also look less like a loser. They will talk to each other and just ignore my presence like I'm not there. It feels like I'm invisible and it's the worst feeling. But this isn't something new tho. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. Since I was younger. When we had group activities at school, I was that kid that would always be left with nobody and would be paired with the teacher. I just never really fit in anywhere. I would get rejected by my friends a lot in primary school. Despite this, I feel like it's the only time in my life where I had any real friends (in school only anyway) I remember this one kid I knew and we were really close. He would invite me to his house and his birthday parties and stuff. When it was time for highschool, we unfortunately didn't get accepted into the school same and the two of us were split up. I was able to get his number though and we talked for literally only a day and never again. I would message him and he would never respond back (idk what's he doing now) This is how it goes when I talk to people online as well. Im just constantly ignored. I don't know why everybody just ignores me. It's like my existence bothers people and they would probably feel much better if i weren't alive because that's honestly how I feel a lot of the time. What makes me feel worse is constantly seeing everybody have fun with their friends, making memories while you sitting alone there watching them. It makes me jealous and sometimes I feel a bit mad at them because I'm literally sitting here with nobody and y'all are ignoring me :( At home is when it's the worse. I always get this heavy feeling of emptiness deep in my chest. It's been like this for a few years now and there are times where I just feel like breaking down. On weekends and holidays, I'm just at home at on my phone doing nothing for the whole day while everyone else is having fun. I've missed out on some much. It's not fair. I never even asked for this life. I don't see how I can possible keep this up.

I feel this so much. I've felt like an outcast my whole life. I have made quite some posts about it:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-have-been-an-outcast-my-whole-life.235859/
I don't know what to tell you except trying to find a group with this introverted vibe. I feel existentially lonely ever since I was born and don't have many friends really. No close friends. I feel so lonely. Anyway, I hope you improve. My chat is open as well.

 

[InTheAbyss]

So I'm not rlly sure exactly how to start off but I've just been feeling more and more lonely as more years go by. I seriously don't have any friends in my life. I guess I talk to people in my day to day environment but that's it. Nothing besides that. I can sometimes think I'm friends with someone but then they just straight up tell me that we aren't friends, just "acquaintances" (this is because I always think I'm more important to people then I actually am. Overvaluing myself sort of?) And it definitely hurts. It seems like everyone around me has their own circle/group of friends or maybe someone they consider their "bestie". So everyone has somebody and u can obviously see that but I'm kinda just "there" existing and wandering around. I don't have anybody. During lunch breaks at this place I work at, I always sit alone with nobody and sometimes even feel weird. At times I will sit with other people just so that I can feel a bit included and also look less like a loser. They will talk to each other and just ignore my presence like I'm not there. It feels like I'm invisible and it's the worst feeling. But this isn't something new tho. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. Since I was younger. When we had group activities at school, I was that kid that would always be left with nobody and would be paired with the teacher. I just never really fit in anywhere. I would get rejected by my friends a lot in primary school. Despite this, I feel like it's the only time in my life where I had any real friends (in school only anyway) I remember this one kid I knew and we were really close. He would invite me to his house and his birthday parties and stuff. When it was time for highschool, we unfortunately didn't get accepted into the school same and the two of us were split up. I was able to get his number though and we talked for literally only a day and never again. I would message him and he would never respond back (idk what's he doing now) This is how it goes when I talk to people online as well. Im just constantly ignored. I don't know why everybody just ignores me. It's like my existence bothers people and they would probably feel much better if i weren't alive because that's honestly how I feel a lot of the time. What makes me feel worse is constantly seeing everybody have fun with their friends, making memories while you sitting alone there watching them. It makes me jealous and sometimes I feel a bit mad at them because I'm literally sitting here with nobody and y'all are ignoring me :( At home is when it's the worse. I always get this heavy feeling of emptiness deep in my chest. It's been like this for a few years now and there are times where I just feel like breaking down. On weekends and holidays, I'm just at home at on my phone doing nothing for the whole day while everyone else is having fun. I've missed out on some much. It's not fair. I never even asked for this life. I don't see how I can possible keep this up.

I'm lonely too. If you want to talk send me a message.

 

[endeledestein]

I feel in a similar way... I have always been alone and its what makes me want to die....

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Sounds all very familiar unfortunately ..

I have my online ' family ' I'm so grateful for having them in my life ..

Bit it's not the same as visiting a friend for a coffee, see a gig ..you name it

Dear@MMOSTHATED I'm so sorry that you and so many others here are going through this... loneliness really kills.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Loneliness is worse for the health than smoking and that's not even taking into account the emotional pain.

 

[Moe_Redfath]

So I'm not rlly sure exactly how to start off but I've just been feeling more and more lonely as more years go by. I seriously don't have any friends in my life. I guess I talk to people in my day to day environment but that's it. Nothing besides that. I can sometimes think I'm friends with someone but then they just straight up tell me that we aren't friends, just "acquaintances" (this is because I always think I'm more important to people then I actually am. Overvaluing myself sort of?) And it definitely hurts. It seems like everyone around me has their own circle/group of friends or maybe someone they consider their "bestie". So everyone has somebody and u can obviously see that but I'm kinda just "there" existing and wandering around. I don't have anybody. During lunch breaks at this place I work at, I always sit alone with nobody and sometimes even feel weird. At times I will sit with other people just so that I can feel a bit included and also look less like a loser. They will talk to each other and just ignore my presence like I'm not there. It feels like I'm invisible and it's the worst feeling. But this isn't something new tho. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. Since I was younger. When we had group activities at school, I was that kid that would always be left with nobody and would be paired with the teacher. I just never really fit in anywhere. I would get rejected by my friends a lot in primary school. Despite this, I feel like it's the only time in my life where I had any real friends (in school only anyway) I remember this one kid I knew and we were really close. He would invite me to his house and his birthday parties and stuff. When it was time for highschool, we unfortunately didn't get accepted into the school same and the two of us were split up. I was able to get his number though and we talked for literally only a day and never again. I would message him and he would never respond back (idk what's he doing now) This is how it goes when I talk to people online as well. Im just constantly ignored. I don't know why everybody just ignores me. It's like my existence bothers people and they would probably feel much better if i weren't alive because that's honestly how I feel a lot of the time. What makes me feel worse is constantly seeing everybody have fun with their friends, making memories while you sitting alone there watching them. It makes me jealous and sometimes I feel a bit mad at them because I'm literally sitting here with nobody and y'all are ignoring me :( At home is when it's the worse. I always get this heavy feeling of emptiness deep in my chest. It's been like this for a few years now and there are times where I just feel like breaking down. On weekends and holidays, I'm just at home at on my phone doing nothing for the whole day while everyone else is having fun. I've missed out on some much. It's not fair. I never even asked for this life. I don't see how I can possible keep this up.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. The loneliness sounds so isolating. We here can be your friends. We can talk. Just send a message. We want you around.

 

[MMOSTHATED]

Loneliness is worse for the health than smoking and that's not even taking into account the emotional pain.

ya it's such a horrible feeling

I'm sorry you have to go through this. The loneliness sounds so isolating. We here can be your friends. We can talk. Just send a message. We want you around.

Thank you :)

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I feel this so much as well. There is something that is gone inside me that I can never find. Having been marginalized for my entire life has left a hole deep inside me that can never be filled now. I do have a close friend but they are usually busy and working a lot. I am always alone and the other humans do not really like or respect me. They will never truly understand me and since I don't have a good job and am small they have zero interest in doing so to begin with. I am of zero importance to them. I haunt my dwellings and the buses or trains I take to get around town when I occasionally go out but the other humans are disconnected from me and will never truly be in the same dimension that I inhabit. It feels so horrible.

Sometimes I wonder if "autism" is really just the horrible consequence of an increase in mass alienation.

 

[absolutethistime]

I'm lonely

 

[Death Diviner]

Friend?
FRIEND!
Me see friend!

I'm lonely

Here, take flower.

Say ,"Thank you."