picklealex
I hate it all, just let me die
- Jun 24, 2023
- 120
ignore this, I just really need to get this out of my chest.
I am feeling horrible, as if my world was crashing down in just seconds infront of my own eyes. from a matter of seconds I felt the most horrible feeling I've ever felt in all my life, I'm feeling completely hopeless. there's no cure for me (if there ever was in the first place) there's nothing to make me change my mind. I'm feeling horrible. I want to desperately get admitted to the hospital because I am scared. I am very scared something will happen to anyone around me if I go in a state of anger and depression. I just want peace, I want to feel fine again. I wish I never stopped taking medications, atleast I felt like a zombie and actually felt a bit normal for the first time in my life. now all I feel is misery.i feel like I'll actually somehow find a way to hurt myself tonight, if I end my life, that's nice but if I don't it's whatever. I just want to hurt myself horribly to atleast feel something else than the loneliness that's consuming me from the inside.its feels like it's eating me
alive, slowly, I feel the worst pain I've ever felt. I feel this bottomless pit in my stomach that completely swallows every emotion I could feel other than anger and sadness. I wish this would all just end. I want to feel something other than this. I would rather hurt myself horribly, even if I don't end my life I atleast want to feel something other than this. I want to run until I can't so ill feel physically tired and not mentally tired. everyone is tired of me, I can tell they are. my wrists are horrible and it's not satisfying me at all. I am getting drained, I am feeling my motivation to "live" any longer get slowly striped from me, drained drop by drop from me. I just want to feel better.
I am feeling horrible, as if my world was crashing down in just seconds infront of my own eyes. from a matter of seconds I felt the most horrible feeling I've ever felt in all my life, I'm feeling completely hopeless. there's no cure for me (if there ever was in the first place) there's nothing to make me change my mind. I'm feeling horrible. I want to desperately get admitted to the hospital because I am scared. I am very scared something will happen to anyone around me if I go in a state of anger and depression. I just want peace, I want to feel fine again. I wish I never stopped taking medications, atleast I felt like a zombie and actually felt a bit normal for the first time in my life. now all I feel is misery.i feel like I'll actually somehow find a way to hurt myself tonight, if I end my life, that's nice but if I don't it's whatever. I just want to hurt myself horribly to atleast feel something else than the loneliness that's consuming me from the inside.its feels like it's eating me
alive, slowly, I feel the worst pain I've ever felt. I feel this bottomless pit in my stomach that completely swallows every emotion I could feel other than anger and sadness. I wish this would all just end. I want to feel something other than this. I would rather hurt myself horribly, even if I don't end my life I atleast want to feel something other than this. I want to run until I can't so ill feel physically tired and not mentally tired. everyone is tired of me, I can tell they are. my wrists are horrible and it's not satisfying me at all. I am getting drained, I am feeling my motivation to "live" any longer get slowly striped from me, drained drop by drop from me. I just want to feel better.
