Hi.
This will sound a familar situation for many.
I really do relate to how you feel as I share your thoughts.
I am glad that you found us and hope we can help and you no longer feel alone and without a place to turn.
As unfair as it is,i think many people (including friends) become scared and run from things they dont understand ie depressson and do not know what to say or do.
I dont think we should feel forced to live for others with the exception of having dependant children.
I am a widowed single parent and live each day for my son.It is a constant struggle because i want to die too.
What things have you tried or have you made a definate decision to ctb ?
I'm sorry to hear that and can't imagine how it must feel to have lost your partner. Not saying it makes it better or anything, but I kind of wish I had a purpose like a child to make me want to stay here more.
Unfortunately. I feel like a lot of people can't be bothered with friendships the minute things get tough.
You sound like a very kind and considerate person for trying to continue living for your son.
I've suffered from depression since I was 14 and I'm 21, tried therapy in different forms, was put on meds for a bit but nothing really helped.
Made the decision to ctb but I've had two failed attempts
I'm sorry you feel like that at your age, and I don't know your other circumstances, but I'd give anything to be that age again. But I do understand about depression, I had it too at that age and while I didn't try to ctb, and that's probably good because I was really dumb and would've ended up paralyzed or something, I was struggling. While I made very questionable decisions after, I did end up blossoming more in other ways after that as I explored the world more.
Those friendships unfortunately may not be real. But at least you know now and you would have so much time to find your real friends. There are people who are real, tried and true friends. I'm lucky enough to have a couple. One of them I didn't meet until later in my 20's and he and his wife are awesome. I didn't tell them about my financial situation but when I moved to Chicago last year, they immediately said to stay with them and don't worry about rent until I found a place. And that was a place that cost like $2400 a month.
Point is I guess, if you stick around, you will meet more and more people and will hopefully meet at least a couple of the right ones. But that's without knowing anything else that's going on with you.
