Venting Feeling bound to friends and family

[mono]

I love having my friensd and family in my life but having them around makes it feel nearly impossible to ctb. I know it's my own decision and no one can stop me but I still can't help but feel so overwhelmingly guilty about leaving them all behind and causing harm to them mentally. Especially with my parents. I'm an only child so if I die my parents won't have another child to kind of dull out the feeling of losing one,they would literally lose their only child and be left with nothing. But if I were to just abandon everyone with no explanation as to why until I ctb? That just seems too selfish of me. And even then, I too would be left alone which is something I fear the most.

 

[ChronicPain23]

I am also an only child, I have a good relationship with my parents, but I am indifferent to what will happen to them after my CTB. That's the way I was born, I don't fit into this world and I only get tired and suffer.

 

[jbear824]

I know how you feel OP. I too feel bound to my friends and partner. I can't abandon them. I am trapped here.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be in and it must be tiring having to suffer like that, I wish there was the option for one to just completely erase their existence and disappear.

 

[mono]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be in and it must be tiring having to suffer like that, I wish there was the option for one to just completely erase their existence and disappear.

To have never been born would have been better, but sadly this wasn't an option for me.

 

[F Sea]

Hello mono. What a terrible situation. The initiative in these conditions is complex. Having a loving family is great. Not everyone can have that luxury. If you make the decision to leave them, please write a lot and explain everything in a farewell letter, I think it is essential in these cases.
Whatever you decide, good luck.

 

[BGooG]

I don't do anything because of what it might do to my daughter. She's in university and struggling herself (not with university - she's a straight A student in chemistry), but has her own emotional issues. If I were to kill myself I'm afraid it'd tell her that it's okay to do this, and she would. The world is much better off with her in it. I recognize the blatant hypocrisy - it's ok for me to think about this but not her. I'm fine with being a hypocrite. I'd do anything to protect her from harm, including self-harm

 

[mono]

I don't do anything because of what it might do to my daughter. She's in university and struggling herself (not with university - she's a straight A student in chemistry), but has her own emotional issues. If I were to kill myself I'm afraid it'd tell her that it's okay to do this, and she would. The world is much better off with her in it. I recognize the blatant hypocrisy - it's ok for me to think about this but not her. I'm fine with being a hypocrite. I'd do anything to protect her from harm, including self-harm

Your bravery to face this world despite what your going though for you daughter makes you a great mother in this case. She's truely luck to have you :)

Hello mono. What a terrible situation. The initiative in these conditions is complex. Having a loving family is great. Not everyone can have that luxury. If you make the decision to leave them, please write a lot and explain everything in a farewell letter, I think it is essential in these cases.
Whatever you decide, good luck.

Hello F. I love my family and I think that's what has kept me alive the longest. When I decide to ctb I plan to write individual letters to both my parents filled with happy memorys, ext. I'd also be doing that with my friends.