Sisyphus
Member
- Jul 26, 2021
- 70
I spend most of my day thinking about CTB, but sometimes, late at night, when I feel physically and mentally better, I start to wonder if CTB is the right choice. At those times, since I am feeling OK, I can see a glimmer of hope for my situation, and I actually feel like I can make progress on my health problems and thereby not have to CTB after all. Honestly, if I did not have these fleeting moments of contentedness and hope, I am sure I would already be dead years ago.
In technical terms, my depression has a diurnal variation, which means I feel (a little) better at night. This makes me think that a recovery is possible, because if I have a taste of what it would be to be back to normal. If only I could just find a way to extend that OKness at night to more of the day, I think I would be better.
Anybody else feel like this?
In technical terms, my depression has a diurnal variation, which means I feel (a little) better at night. This makes me think that a recovery is possible, because if I have a taste of what it would be to be back to normal. If only I could just find a way to extend that OKness at night to more of the day, I think I would be better.
Anybody else feel like this?