Venting Feeling bad

[Qua]

I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling. Family problems are destroying me, I'm fucked up in the head because my whole life I've never head a sense of safety or comfort from my parents, always been feeling bad in my household. Eighteen years of my life filled with pain, gaslighting, lies, anger, constant fights, drinking, trauma, death of loves ones and mom wanting to ctb, yells and screams, crying, being left alone, accusations, depression and anxiety. I've been off this site for a while, not feeling the need to vent here, not feeling the need to read posts from like-minded people to feel better. I've treated this as a way to escape what's happening around me, cut off the real world for a minute or few. Now I'm back, feeling worse again, feeling like my heart is literally ripping apart. I can't move out yet, so staying in the middle of all the family provlems that I've been dealing with my whole life is inevitable for now. I just can't take it anymore, why are adults so fucked up

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be so dreadful and tiring what you've been through, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's cruel how people have to suffer so much. But anyway best wishes.