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unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
Last time I took an overdose in 2022 I stopped breathing. Had to be revived. I have double the amount of tablets I took then now. Should I just go for it and not bother ringing for an ambulance? No one is coming for me. I'm in a bunker, feeling my last days hours and moments play out. I know SN is the regarded method here but I actually tried something before I joined this site and doctors around me at the time told me I nearly died. I think I can make this work?
 
S

sanitystruggle

Specialist
Mar 12, 2024
377
It's hard to give any objective opinion without knowing what you're planning to OD on and the prospective dose. For virtually everything except the combinations discussed in the PPeH reliability and peacefulness are questionable. You say you came close before so you have some experience here in terms of how it felt, long term recovery after a failed attempt etc. It's going to be hard for anyone else to weigh in usefully without knowing more details.
 
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U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
It's hard to give any objective opinion without knowing what you're planning to OD on and the prospective dose. For virtually everything except the combinations discussed in the PPeH reliability and peacefulness are questionable. You say you came close before so you have some experience here in terms of how it felt, long term recovery after a failed attempt etc. It's going to be hard for anyone else to weigh in usefully without knowing more details.
Took 100 promethazine tablets, maybe mixed with one or two other things but it was generally promethazine. I have 200+ now alongside other meds, naproxen diazepam metoclopramide chloroquine. I went unconscious and recovered in hospital but my mum told me doctors said I had stopped breathing, I'm wondering if the same thing would happen now
 
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Abyssal

Abyssal

Kill me
Nov 26, 2023
1,174
It seems you have a better idea of what this medication does to you than we could so I won't give you the same warning of unreliability I give others.

What I will tell you, based on my own experiences, is this: I've ODed before, albeit on a medication that would've put me into cardiac arrest and not stopped my breathing, and while my memory tells me it wasn't physically agonizing and the mental state was bearable I have reason not to trust my memory.

Since joining this forum my attempts and practices have all been done with a level on note-taking involved. What I've noticed is that, especially after the 24-48 hour mark my memory of what happened becomes unreliable and fails to coincide with what I have written down.

Basically, you'd done it before but don't expect this to be pleasant for that reason.
 
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U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
It seems you have a better idea of what this medication does to you than we could so I won't give you the same warning of unreliability I give others.

What I will tell you, based on my own experiences, is this: I've ODed before, albeit on a medication that would've put me into cardiac arrest and not stopped my breathing, and while my memory tells me it wasn't physically agonizing and the mental state was bearable I have reason not to trust my memory.

Since joining this forum my attempts and practices have all been done with a level on note-taking involved. What I've noticed is that, especially after the 24-48 hour mark my memory of what happened becomes unreliable and fails to coincide with what I have written down.

Basically, you'd done it before but don't expect this to be pleasant for that reason.
In my case they intervened instantly, I went unconscious in an A and E waiting room, I wasn't in pain when I was conscious either
My arm is covered in blood
 
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sanitystruggle

Specialist
Mar 12, 2024
377
Took 100 promethazine tablets, maybe mixed with one or two other things but it was generally promethazine. I have 200+ now alongside other meds, naproxen diazepam metoclopramide chloroquine. I went unconscious and recovered in hospital but my mum told me doctors said I had stopped breathing, I'm wondering if the same thing would happen now
Assuming they're 25mg tablets that's 5g which is a pretty huge OD. It's still hard to say how reliable this might be without other drugs that cause profound respiratory depression. It seems that fatal OD with promethazine alone is quite rare:


Reports fatalities but a large number of users who were also using opioids. The number of promethazine alone cases is quite small. Even codeine seems to up the toxicity quite significantly (lean/purple drank). It's a shame they made codeine linctus prescription only in the UK šŸ˜•
 
U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
Assuming they're 25mg tablets that's 5g which is a pretty huge OD. It's still hard to say how reliable this might be without other drugs that cause profound respiratory depression. It seems that fatal OD with promethazine alone is quite rare:


Reports fatalities but a large number of users who were also using opioids. The number of promethazine alone cases is quite small. Even codeine seems to up the toxicity quite significantly (lean/purple drank). It's a shame they made codeine linctus prescription only in the UK šŸ˜•
Very helpful insight, thank you. I actually have about 6g worth amongst other meds like chloroquine and metoclopramide, wondering if that would work. Don't want to be too creative/stupid with any potential mix but I'm prepared to consider. I've also calmed down a bit since earlier, still suicidal/self harming but I'm thinking about other things for now, thanks for your insights as always
 
U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
Reconsidering this. I could go to a beach with a bunch of meds and end it all. I've got meds, I could do it. Maybe even right now.
 
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U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
Still considering this. Making a call to 111 where I am, seriously on the edge. In 2022 I was within mental health services, working in skills groups to pick myself up in life. One guy in the group tries to wind people up, he goes for me, I stand up for myself. The guy running the group who had a bias against me goes for me instead of him. On the back of the pressure of my life and this impossible situation I took an overdose. I referred myself into A and E as I took it. As soon as I got into hospital I crashed in the waiting room. They had to cut open my shirt to get me breathing again, apparently I nearly died. Why wouldn't this happen, if I were to take a similar overdose? I could do it right now and not bother with the hassle of telling anyone. If I'm certain it would work I would do it. I'm insecure about whether it would work, it's a very conflicting thing but I tried it in the past and I just need to do something now, I can't suffer any more.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,078
Last time I took an overdose in 2022 I stopped breathing.
If u stopped breathing you must have been rescued within 5 - 10 minutes due to resuscitation otherwise irreversible brain damage is done following by death.
 
W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,666
I can understand and also relate to suffering, as I have had massive depression all my life along with BPD, well actually everything and I NEED YOU here.

I am in the U.S., and I hope that you consider getting help, as ctb is one and done, no 2nd chances ever.

Now, I am NOT pro-life nor pro-suicide but pro-choice to everything in this life. With that said I have had 2 attempts and I wish nothing but the best for you, and I really need folks, like YOU, as having no one and being able to say hi to such a great soul as you make my life so much better.

I hope and pray that you take a step back and try and get some help.

CTB is NOT going anywhere and give it the old hail Mary and try recovery please.

Walter

Also, you might just get brain or organ damage and that would break my heart into pieces.
 
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U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
If u stopped breathing you must have been rescued within 5 - 10 minutes due to resuscitation otherwise irreversible brain damage is done following by death.
So you're saying the overdose wouldn't have worked? They told me it could have been fatal, that I could have died. I have no issues with that nor with trying again
I can understand and also relate to suffering, as I have had massive depression all my life along with BPD, well actually everything and I NEED YOU here.

I am in the U.S., and I hope that you consider getting help, as ctb is one and done, no 2nd chances ever.

Now, I am NOT pro-life nor pro-suicide but pro-choice to everything in this life. With that said I have had 2 attempts and I wish nothing but the best for you, and I really need folks, like YOU, as having no one and being able to say hi to such a great soul as you make my life so much better.

I hope and pray that you take a step back and try and get some help.

CTB is NOT going anywhere and give it the old hail Mary and try recovery please.

Walter

Also, you might just get brain or organ damage and that would break my heart into pieces.
I have been trying to get help since 2015. I've worked with every possible form of support a person can realistically get. The conclusion is the same, my situation is terminal, I don't have a future, there is no realistic way in which things can improve. People will point at things like my health, my age and say 'you still have so much to live for', I turn it back and point how shut down my life really is, how I wouldn't be rushing to die like this if things could change. I would take euthanasia in a heartbeat if it was available to me. This is not some impulsive decision, I've felt this way for over 10 years and it has actually intensified since February. I appreciate the concern about potential organ/brain damage, I'm concerned about that too but I'm weighing it all up and thinking at this stage 'if I came close before why wouldn't it work now?'. Thank you for considering my situation.
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,078
So you're saying the overdose wouldn't have worked? They told me it could have been fatal, that I could have died. I have no issues with that nor with trying again
The OD would have worked if you weren't found!

That's what I assume. No oxygen, no breathing due to respiratory arrest = death within minutes. That's what I once learned in first aid.
 
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W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,666
So you're saying the overdose wouldn't have worked? They told me it could have been fatal, that I could have died. I have no issues with that nor with trying again

I have been trying to get help since 2015. I've worked with every possible form of support a person can realistically get. The conclusion is the same, my situation is terminal, I don't have a future, there is no realistic way in which things can improve. People will point at things like my health, my age and say 'you still have so much to live for', I turn it back and point how shut down my life really is, how I wouldn't be rushing to die like this if things could change. I would take euthanasia in a heartbeat if it was available to me. This is not some impulsive decision, I've felt this way for over 10 years and it has actually intensified since February. I appreciate the concern about potential organ/brain damage, I'm concerned about that too but I'm weighing it all up and thinking at this stage 'if I came close before why wouldn't it work now?'. Thank you for considering my situation.
Thank you for your thoughts and background.

I have 24/7 chronic pain and if and when quantity overtakes quality of life, I have a VAD waiting for me.

When I look back at my 2 attempts, both were hanging from a bridge, when the cops took my in, it was actually a ambulance, they checked me out and I was told I was very lucky about NOT getting brain damage. I have to admit that the prospect of not being able to walk properly, or feeding myself and the list goes on was very unsettling for/to me, and after reading your posts, the memory shook me up a lot.

You are such a wonderfully kind spirit.

Walter
 
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U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
Still feel like overdosing. Apparently I'm meant to be seeing direct suicide intervention support on Tuesday. Don't know whether to hold off until then or just blow it all now. I'm expecting meds I've got to be taken away. I am in so much pain. The more I feel pain the more I gear up to die. I brought this on myself. I've lost everything, destroyed myself. Someone on Reddit said to me once 'Fair play, you've made virginity a superpower'. My whole life, I wasn't secure enough. People kept knocking me out of the way. I've been knocked out of the way to the extent I do not exist, people just rush and run over me. I'm ready to die. Maybe I can kill myself over the phone to 111.
 
bunny_brownie9

bunny_brownie9

so terribly lost
Jan 1, 2024
142
Still feel like overdosing. Apparently I'm meant to be seeing direct suicide intervention support on Tuesday. Don't know whether to hold off until then or just blow it all now. I'm expecting meds I've got to be taken away. I am in so much pain. The more I feel pain the more I gear up to die. I brought this on myself. I've lost everything, destroyed myself. Someone on Reddit said to me once 'Fair play, you've made virginity a superpower'. My whole life, I wasn't secure enough. People kept knocking me out of the way. I've been knocked out of the way to the extent I do not exist, people just rush and run over me. I'm ready to die. Maybe I can kill myself over the phone to 111.
what do you hope 111 would do
 
U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
what do you hope 111 would do
Absolutely nothing. I just like to ring random helplines and services, I'm finding it hard to get to the state of mind, the trigger I need to die. I like trying to put my thoughts straight. I should get on with it and overdose already but I can't do it unless I feel sure I can do it, I need the push to do it, I need the complete state of mind to connect.
 
bunny_brownie9

bunny_brownie9

so terribly lost
Jan 1, 2024
142
Absolutely nothing. I just like to ring random helplines and services, I'm finding it hard to get to the state of mind, the trigger I need to die. I like trying to put my thoughts straight. I should get on with it and overdose already but I can't do it unless I feel sure I can do it, I need the push to do it, I need the complete state of mind to connect.
I hear you. are you diagnosed with anything?
 
U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
I hear you. are you diagnosed with anything?
Anxiety, depression, emotion regulation

No one can make the decision to die for you. But it takes so much to get to the state where you can actually pull it off.
 
bunny_brownie9

bunny_brownie9

so terribly lost
Jan 1, 2024
142
Anxiety, depression, emotion regulation

No one can make the decision to die for you. But it takes so much to get to the state where you can actually pull it off.
completely agree. It's not as easy as people say.
 
U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
589
I just don't know how to make the final push. I don't know if what I've got is enough. I want to feel secure it's enough. I just want to hit that place where a road suddenly opens up and there it is, there I can go and suddenly I'm on my way. I need to find that road.
 

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