Octavina
Paint the black hole blacker
- Jan 9, 2021
- 186
Just got out of a month in a psych ward. I'm at the top but failing again will give me more trauma like this last admission I can't take it anymore.
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Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
BeansOfRequirement
Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,789
7. So fed up that I'm giving up on suicide. Because that's what I do best, give up.
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Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
I'm terrible at giving up on anything. I am so stubborn. That's why it's so hard to think about ctb. It's giving up. But then it's also the matter of giving up on ctb. So either way, it's against my nature.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
I have 3/4 of the life I've always dreamed of: work, place, friends. But I lost the absolute love of my life, and it was also connected to the three things I have listed. So everything has collapsed, life has become unlivable, a concentration of melancholy, what gave me joy now fills me with pain. It's awful, and my mind is constantly brooding. I had / I would have had a craving for life, now I can't get a step out of the house. I'm sorry for the pain of those who remain, but I can't go on and I'm full of anger, anxiety and socially self-isolated
Lost Magic
Illuminated
- May 5, 2020
- 3,201
I'm In a weird limbo. I been miserable/depressed since age 14 however I didn't know about suicide at the time from being sheltered. We didn't have internet in our home growing up in my youth if i had known about that option I would have ended myself and been free. Now I know it's an option as I don't see my life turning around no social future, no good looks, it's over I'll die miserable. I have trigger moments and for some reason It always happens when I'm abandoned, or left out and then I want to CTB again whenever I make a mistake, or my emotions come out when I sleep with a guy it's weird
Completely on the verge can't take any more.
Snake of Eden
“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
- Jun 22, 2021
- 2,473
I feel the exact same way. I want out and I want it now
sadbadpsychogirl
sonofabitch
- May 29, 2020
- 725
ImsooDone1N
Arcanist
- Nov 22, 2018
- 850
I'm also at a 6, on my "good days" a 5. So things are not looking well. Hope this suffering ends soon. Today would be fantastic.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,622
I replied to this thread a while ago and I still feel the same way. Unfortunately, I am still here posting about the same thing. I think if ctb was easier and if I had a peaceful and reliable way to exit, I would already be gone. I think I would have to be really desperate to overcome the fear of failing ctb.
Rabhen
Isolated Loner
- Dec 17, 2021
- 147
Feel the same. How ridiculous it's so hard to do! Feel free to message me. Hugs xx
