Venting Fear of eating in public

[Fallen bad23]

Have you ever been worried about eating in public?

I have always had this fear of eating in front of anyone. Mostly I eat alone even though I live with my family. I get extremely nervous about ordering food and I just can't feel okay about eating in front of anyone. I also barely leave my house and if by any chance I HAVE go grocery shopping then It is a living nightnare for me.

 

[lemmeeleev]

I have as well. I never eat in public, and I absolutely hate grocery shopping. It just makes me uncomfortable. Even at home I'll wait until there's no one around and bring food to my room and such.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I think that is a combination of social anxiety and general anxiety.

 

[21Neberg]

I've spoken to people with ED's that share your anxiety, though you don't mention having an ED. I don't have an ED either, but I share your anxiety. Though for me it's not just eating, it's doing anything at all. I am always, 100% of the time worried about what others think of me.

 

[waived]

Threads like this one are why I like this forum. I don't like eating in front of people because them watching me feels invasive. If I'm trapped in the same room with others while eating I'll have my back to them looking out a window or I won't eat.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I end up sort of hiding in burger joints. Rarely go there. There's one place that is decent for this as it's 90% empty.
Even with that, I can't actually enjoy food outside. Order the smallest portion available, basically inhale food somewhere in a corner, look around between bites, and then leave. Swiftly.
I've eaten outside only three times since the end of my childhood, otherwise I just order.
I guess having worked in the food delivery business for a while makes it easier. Delivery guys don't give a shit about what you've ordered, they care about finishing their line and nothing else.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Social anxiety (social phobia)

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-anxiety/

 

[Armadillo]

Feel ya.

Lately I just hate being around other people, for whatever reason.
Grocery shopping, buying cigs, hanging out with the few friends I still have... all a pain in the ass.
The only times I enjoy going outside is when I go taking a walk in the woods all by myself... I like nature.

 

[Fallen bad23]

I've spoken to people with ED's that share your anxiety, though you don't mention having an ED. I don't have an ED either, but I share your anxiety. Though for me it's not just eating, it's doing anything at all. I am always, 100% of the time worried about what others think of me.

What is ED?

 

[Johnnythefox]

What is ED?

Eating disorder.

 

[TheCrow]

Totally. And @21Neberg & @Johnnythefox are right—for me, it's a combination of eating disorder & social anxiety issues. I was just stressing out about people watching me eat today, actually! In particular, I feel like people are assessing the amount I am eating.

 

[_habs1999]

yes! i don't have social anxiety but i do have an eating disorder. i hate eating or purchasing (unhealthy) food in front of people because i get really ashamed. even though nobody cares and it's totally normal. it's weird that i can recognize its irrationality like on an intellectual level but my brain is still like "nope they're judging". mental disorders, gotta love em

 

[Fallen bad23]

I don't think that I have an eating disorder. It just makes me crazy to see people capable of living and I can barely exist. Sometimes it occurs to me to go and ask people how they do it?! How can they make phone calls, keep a close connection to friends and family, go out, eat, have a job, have their own famillies while I find it extremely difficult to even have a chat with a friend?
I feel sometimes that I have missed these classes in life while everyone else was attending them. Then again it hits me, I'm the problem and there is nothing wrong with the world.

 

[goxua]

I definitely don't have this fear and I have an ED! Lol

Imagine, I went to Barcelona for some Michelin dining - alone! Which is already terrifying for a lot of people.

So, I'm having these tasting menus which go for like hours...with all the proper table service and like five servers all watching me eat lol

 

[Rollo]

yes! i don't have social anxiety but i do have an eating disorder. i hate eating or purchasing (unhealthy) food in front of people because i get really ashamed. even though nobody cares and it's totally normal. it's weird that i can recognize its irrationality like on an intellectual level but my brain is still like "nope they're judging". mental disorders, gotta love em

So do you really believe it's 'totally normal' to buy and eat say a bunch of fries? It's just you called it 'unhealthy'. Isn't 'unhealthy' and 'not normal' the same thing? Some even call it 'junk food'. You know a garbage. And they think it's not really all that ok to eat it. Not a crime but still a bad habit, a bad thing to do. So they actually will judge you. So your brain may not be all that irrational after all.

 

[Fallen bad23]

I definitely don't have this fear and I have an ED! Lol

Imagine, I went to Barcelona for some Michelin dining - alone! Which is already terrifying for a lot of people.

So, I'm having these tasting menus which go for like hours...with all the proper table service and like five servers all watching me eat lol

I really hope you somehow find a way to enjoy this. It seems nice to have such a day but the anxiety, EDs and mental disorders in general make us miss a lot of fun.

 

[itsallover]

I barely go outside anymore. My apartment and my body are both prisons I need to escape.

 

[Ali]

Yes, when I went to high school I had to eat there and it was difficult, I could not finish all the food and some days I would tremble if someone looked at me.

 

[Jiva]

My wife has it the same. I like visiting of restaurants with exotic food, but for her it is as visit in the hell. Usually we must buy dish into a bag and go eat it at home.

 

[mattwitt]

I don't really like to eat in public because I don't like to use public restrooms.

 

[_habs1999]

So do you really believe it's 'totally normal' to buy and eat say a bunch of fries? It's just you called it 'unhealthy'. Isn't 'unhealthy' and 'not normal' the same thing? Some even call it 'junk food'. You know a garbage. And they think it's not really all that ok to eat it. Not a crime but still a bad habit, a bad thing to do. So they actually will judge you. So your brain may not be all that irrational after all.

hi! eating unhealthy foods in moderation and enjoying a plate of fries at dinner with loved ones every once in awhile is perfectly fine! i shouldn't be made to feel like every dietary choice i make will be microscopically judged. i'm not sure if you know what having an eating disorder is like but i assure you, if i am at a normal weight and eat well and exercise regularly, i shouldn't feel an immense sense of panic anytime i renege on my diet.

 

[_habs1999]

hi! eating unhealthy foods in moderation and enjoying a plate of fries at dinner with loved ones every once in awhile is perfectly fine! i shouldn't be made to feel like every dietary choice i make will be microscopically judged. i'm not sure if you know what having an eating disorder is like but i assure you, if i am at a normal weight and eat well and exercise regularly, i shouldn't feel an immense sense of panic anytime i renege on my diet.

it's not like i eat fries all the time. fries aren't inherently healthy, but contrary to what you may believe, plenty of healthy people eat...dare i say...fries??? i push back on your belief that this isn't normal, i think it would be abnormal to follow a perfect diet 100% of the time. we're human. i can still incorporate foods i enjoy into my diet because what is life without good food every now and then? i was more so speaking to how my relationship with food has degraded to where i am panicked about it, though i'm just over 100 lbs. it is called a disorder for a reason.

 

[Rollo]

hi! eating unhealthy foods in moderation and enjoying a plate of fries at dinner with loved ones every once in awhile is perfectly fine! i shouldn't be made to feel like every dietary choice i make will be microscopically judged. i'm not sure if you know what having an eating disorder is like but i assure you, if i am at a normal weight and eat well and exercise regularly, i shouldn't feel an immense sense of panic anytime i renege on my diet.

it's not like i eat fries all the time. fries aren't inherently healthy, but contrary to what you may believe, plenty of healthy people eat...dare i say...fries??? i push back on your belief that this isn't normal, i think it would be abnormal to follow a perfect diet 100% of the time. we're human. i can still incorporate foods i enjoy into my diet because what is life without good food every now and then? i was more so speaking to how my relationship with food has degraded to where i am panicked about it, though i'm just over 100 lbs. it is called a disorder for a reason.

What up, habs. Welcome back. I didn't say I think eating fries is not normal. I don't. In another thread I spoke on my views on the subject. Long story short - I don't consider any foods unhealthy unless they are actually poisonous like death cap mushroom or rotten meat. As long as you manage your weight it's ok to eat fries every day, that's how I see it. And even if you don't manage your weight, I don't believe it's 'wrong' or 'not normal' thing to do. Even though in my opinion you're doing disservice to your health - it's your life and your priorities, and I respect it as such without any judgement.

Still some people feel radically different. To them fries are unhealthy by definition. So eating them is wrong under any circumstances. And if you do eat them - they will microscopically judge you. Then there are many intermediate stances between my stance and such a religious approach. Like here you're saying it's ok but only 'once in a while', 'in moderation', 'at dinner with your loved ones' etc. Such stances still leave room for some judgement, especially given many are hypocrites and will judge you much faster than they will judge themselves.

Basically what I'm saying - people judging you for your dietary choices is not something entirely out there. And where there is judgement there may well be a sentence. So it's not like you're panicking for no reason whatsoever due to your irrational brain. Your brain tells you - judgement is possible. And it is actually possible. Even if your brain overinflates the possibility. And then you panic, which is the problem. So your disorder is strictly panic, the way I see it.

 

[Taylor]

I have something very similar to this, with a different bodily function I found out I can't do while others are watching me (about 5 years ago now). It has literally ruined every aspect of my life, with invasive obsessive thoughts about it in any social situation I'm in.

My life was perfectly normal and happy before I realized something like this was even possible, but this essentially destroyed me and led to a bunch of other (much worse) problems. It's even the main reason why I don't even bother seeking help with my physical ailments because this problem of mine basically overrides any joy or ability to function normally in my life anyway. If we were advanced enough in neuroscience to simply erase it from my mind, it would give me my life back, but something like that is still decades away. :(

 

[Rollo]

I have something very similar to this, with a different bodily function I found out I can't do while others are watching me (about 5 years ago now). It has literally ruined every aspect of my life, with invasive obsessive thoughts about it in any social situation I'm in.

My life was perfectly normal and happy before I realized something like this was even possible, but this essentially destroyed me and led to a bunch of other (much worse) problems. It's even the main reason why I don't even bother seeking help with my physical ailments because this problem of mine basically overrides any joy or ability to function normally in my life anyway. If we were advanced enough in neuroscience to simply erase it from my mind, it would give me my life back, but something like that is still decades away. :(

Do you mean you can't pee while others are watching? I had such an issue.

 

[Ipassbutter]

This idea was in the movie girl interuptted. The only part I remember and I probably saw it 15 years ago.
The character wouldn't eat in front of anyone and was hiding chicken carcasses under her bed. The part that really stuck with me was she said eating in front of people was like pooing in front of people.

 

[Taylor]

Do you mean you can't pee while others are watching? I had such an issue.

No, but I know what you're talking about and get that sometimes too. A lot of guys/girls have that and it's wayy more common than people think. No mine is with the most unexpected bodily function, and I won't say it so I don't ruin everyone else's lives too lol.

 

[SkyBlue]

No, but I know what you're talking about and get that sometimes too. A lot of guys/girls have that and it's wayy more common than people think. No mine is with the most unexpected bodily function, and I won't say it so I don't ruin everyone else's lives too lol.

I'm rather unsure if it might be this, but if you can't swallow that might be linked to depression.

 

[Rollo]

No, but I know what you're talking about and get that sometimes too. A lot of guys/girls have that and it's wayy more common than people think. No mine is with the most unexpected bodily function, and I won't say it so I don't ruin everyone else's lives too lol.

Well in a way you did ruin it cause now people are gonna torment themselves guessing. It's as if you gave me a detective book and torn off last pages lol. Still I agree some things are better left private.

 

[Taylor]

I'm rather unsure if it might be this, but if you can't swallow that might be linked to depression.

That's not it either, but end of discussion now lol.