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Ice Poseidon

Ice Poseidon

Member
Jul 3, 2018
25
There are times I am sure I have the courage to CTB.
Then the next day the survival instinct takes over.
I start to lose trust in myself that I can stick to a plan.

But guess what?
Whatever our decision is, in the end none of it matters.
We will die one way or another.

If we choose to wage-slave, suffer, and die of old age.
That suffering is temporary.

If we choose to CTB, it may negatively impact others,
but their pain is temporary.

What are your thoughts on this?
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
551
I've thought about this before.
I'm not saying I'm right at all, but I feel that if I kI'll myself I could go to hell, and if I don't kill myself I might have a chance to go to heaven, slight chance though.
But sometimes I don't beleive in an afterlife.
If I knew for sure there is no afterlife, I would feel better about killing myself.
 
Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
551
But I have asked myself the same thing you are asking.
 
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C

Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
572
I can relate. I realized I would not be able to do anything violent because of my survival instinct. For example, jumping or shooting myself. It was easy for me to try partial suspension hanging, only thing I had trouble with was losing consciousness. But if I didn't have trouble, I wouldn't be alive. I think the more violent methods trigger my survival instincts, while the less violent methods are easier for me to do.
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
I've thought about this before.
I'm not saying I'm right at all, but I feel that if I kI'll myself I could go to hell, and if I don't kill myself I might have a chance to go to heaven, slight chance though.
But sometimes I don't beleive in an afterlife.
If I knew for sure there is no afterlife, I would feel better about killing myself.
In this situations I used to think when your brain stops working you are simply gone, your energy won't form another life, you are lost forever in the void.

At least for me it's very effective.

----------------

There are times I am sure I have the courage to CTB.
Then the next day the survival instinct takes over.
I start to lose trust in myself that I can stick to a plan.

But guess what?
Whatever our decision is, in the end none of it matters.
We will die one way or another.

If we choose to wage-slave, suffer, and die of old age.
That suffering is temporary.

If we choose to CTB, it may negatively impact others,
but their pain is temporary.

What are your thoughts on this?
I think exactly the same than you.

If we choose to live, it's bad and from my point of view the worst option. It's as simple as you will waste a lot more time forced to do something you dislike, you find boring, stressful or painful in any level than doing the few things that can be reslly good for you. But bah. It's their choice, the mistake is not mine so I'm not worried. I don't even warn here, they will face that reality sooner or later.

If you want suicide it's hurtful yes, but at least I won't live so so many long years in that condition only because people around me wants to feel a bit better taking benefit of my suffering.
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
551
In this situations I used to think when your brain stops working you are simply gone, your energy won't form another life, you are lost forever in the void.
I agree with this, but after reading the bible, it does say that u will be uncouncious when you are dead, but it's Jesus Christ second coming when he will resurrect the dead, for either judgement or eternal life.

And I'm not saying I'm right, but I can't ignore this, I have even tried.
 
T

Tiburcio

Guest
I agree with this, but after reading the bible, it does say that u will be uncouncious when you are dead, but it's Jesus Christ second coming when he will resurrect the dead, for either judgement or eternal life.

And I'm not saying I'm right, but I can't ignore this, I have even tried.
Oh.

I tried to be helpful, but I'm not it. Sorry dude.
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
551
Oh.

I tried to be helpful, but I'm not it. Sorry dude.
I don't know, I feel life is just too weird.
I don't know what is actually true.
It makes me want to not exist even more.
 
Last edited:
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
233
A pretty all-encompassing perspective on this topic: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/overcoming-psychological-survival-instinct.1917/#post-23753

I can almost guarantee that you'll understand it, given your line of thought. It outlines how free will is incompatible with human existence, among other resources.

And that aging line is no joke, aging is a serious harm and I cannot remember a time when I didn't know so.
 
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V

Vvoiid

Member
Jul 18, 2018
65
It's really sad because I don't believe in an afterlife. The implications are horrifying. I desperatly want to believe in an afterlife but there's no way I can justify this amount of suffering. It's all pointless if you look at it objectively. There is no higher purpose. And it makes you sad because it makes no sense, but why would it make sense? It doesn't have to. We are born from nothing, live for a short while and go back to being nothing. What a joke.
 
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V

Vvoiid

Member
Jul 18, 2018
65
A pretty all-encompassing perspective on this topic: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/overcoming-psychological-survival-instinct.1917/#post-23753

I can almost guarantee that you'll understand it, given your line of thought. It outlines how free will is incompatible with human existence, among other resources.

And that aging line is no joke, aging is a serious harm and I cannot remember a time when I didn't know so.

Thank you for this. I have a question though. How does one attain this state of consciousness?
 
Ice Poseidon

Ice Poseidon

Member
Jul 3, 2018
25
I agree with this, but after reading the bible, it does say that u will be uncouncious when you are dead, but it's Jesus Christ second coming when he will resurrect the dead, for either judgement or eternal life.

And I'm not saying I'm right, but I can't ignore this, I have even tried.


I grew up religious, but lost faith in my early 20's.
I can't genuinely believe in a God after watching many debates and using my own reasoning.
If there is a hell, I will end up there sooner or later. And I will have no regrets because I've tried extensively.

If there is a God, I'd be angry with him. So many people in the world suffer. And for what? For us to worship him?
Punishment for not having faith= eternal suffering.
What an egomaniac. A sadist.
This is why I cannot believe in this All-loving God people speak of.
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
233
Thank you for this. I have a question though. How does one attain this state of consciousness?

If you're talking about the flow state, it's hard to describe unless you've been in it before. It's felt in the body --so this definitely makes it difficult to describe, although the Wikipedia page and the video describe it and how it is attained. I can almost guarantee if you read through all the "tools" section and whatnot, especially listening to those parts of the video you'll know full-well. Just might take a bit of time to fully grasp it all, but I think most of it should come easy enough for certain types of people. I'm going to add another video at the bottom because this man really explains the sort of uncanny aspect of existence really well.
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
551
I grew up religious, but lost faith in my early 20's.
I can't genuinely believe in a God after watching many debates and using my own reasoning.
If there is a hell, I will end up there sooner or later. And I will have no regrets because I've tried extensively.

If there is a God, I'd be angry with him. So many people in the world suffer. And for what? For us to worship him?
Punishment for not having faith= eternal suffering.
What an egomaniac. A sadist.
This is why I cannot believe in this All-loving God people speak of.
The interesting thing about this post is that you are not completely denying that God could exist, and that u have tried extensively, but u feel u could be going to hell sooner or later.
Sometimes I have thoughts similar to this.
What the Bible says about God, could be viewed as cruel, but yet this world could be viewed as cruel also, so it kind of falls in line.
I'm so confused about life and death.
I'm in so much pain mentally and emotionally.
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
233
The interesting thing about this post is that you are not completely denying that God could exist, and that u have tried extensively, but u feel u could be going to hell sooner or later.
Sometimes I have thoughts similar to this.
What the Bible says about God, could be viewed as cruel, but yet this world could be viewed as cruel also, so it kind of falls in line.
I'm so confused about life and death.
I'm in so much pain mentally and emotionally.

Honestly, man it pains me to see religion have such a vice-grip on your psyche... I can tell it really causes you a lot of unease. I've got an option for you and I'm serious about this: watch this every day. I'm serious, just watch that small portion every day. Regardless of whether or not you apply it to your wanting to leave this existence behind, you've got to break the vice-grip that this religion stuff has on your mind, for the better:

(39:19 - 41:29) :

 
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C

CJM

Experienced
Jul 13, 2018
246
There is certainly a fear for me because it's paired up with the "things will be ok, man up, worse off people out there" part of my brain.

Some people argue suicide is selfish and in my case there's certainly that argument.
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I agree with this, but after reading the bible, it does say that u will be uncouncious when you are dead, but it's Jesus Christ second coming when he will resurrect the dead, for either judgement or eternal life.

And I'm not saying I'm right, but I can't ignore this, I have even tried.
Now read The Quran. Reading the holy book of another religion will point out why the Bible is not believable. By the way its shorter than the New Testament. (Note: The Quran is not believable either.)

Also, really think about the concept of eternity. Being eternally conscious anywhere would turn into Hell really quick.
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
There is certainly a fear for me because it's paired up with the "things will be ok, man up, worse off people out there" part of my brain.
Yes, I know that feeling when I used to believe all that toxicity they said me. One day, I got rid of it and now I feel in oeace with myself.