Fantasizing about running away to CTB

[hotelaloner]

I want to buy a plane ticket to Japan, not tell anyone where or when I'm going. Fill a backpack with enough to travel for a day or two. Go to the suicide forest, find a nice branch and hang myself there. I used to live in Japan a few years ago and I remember visiting Aokigahara and it was so peaceful. I visited once in the summer and once in the winter and both times the forest had such a beautiful stillness to it. A stillness that I want to be a part of. I want my body to be overgrown with moss and fungi and decay into the forest. Only problem of this is I have no money, but I guess credit cards are good for that. I won't be caring about the debt if I'm dead so there's that.

Anyways, thank you for reading my brain dump. I'm not sure when or if I'll even do this. A part of me says this is a terrible thing to do to my family, but also maybe it would be better for them to never know where I am. Maybe it would hurt them less. I just wish I could have my dog with me while I do it, but obv that wouldn't work for logistical reasons. Feel free to post your CTB fantasies if you'd like.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wanting to die in a peaceful forest and be forgotten about. In my case I only wish for a death which is like never waking again, it would be such a relief to just peacefully fall into an eternal sleep.

 

[𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆]

My ctb fantasy would be sunset, very high building, beautiful view and silence. Just me and my thoughts, maybe some drugs to make me sleepy. Wind wrapping my weightless body while I'm falling down and then just eternal peace.