Venting family making fun of me being in psych ward

[tarococo]

I don't even remember how I found these messages on my mums phone, guess I was looking for something else or she made me search for a picture or smth. She was texting my grandmother, her mum. She told her that I started crying in an argument (I'm a huge crybaby and hate direct conflicts argh) and my grandmother answered "there'll probably be an ambulance arriving soon "
I remember this feeling like someone slapped me in the face.
She was referring to the night I got admitted to psych ward. I tried to ctb per partial hanging after having a bad fight with my mum. Since I couldn't figure out how to make myself pass out I ended up bruised and frustrated and just miserable. I cried that whole night and literally felt like a dumb kid. I just wanted to talk to someone, I don't even know why, but I ended up calling a suicide hotline. The second someone answered I got scared and ended the call immediately. Duh, obviously they still found out my location and sent an ambulance and the police.
I wouldn't have called if I knew that they'd send someone over. This kind of attention was the worst thing I ever experienced, I felt so embarrassed I literally remember wishing that I'd just drop dead.

When I was in psych ward my mum kept saying sorry, she sent me texts telling me how much she loves me and I actually started to believe her, I really thought she wanted to fix things. This actually gave me strength to give therapy a proper try, to try and finally get better.

Finding out that they were making fun of me and my mental health afterwards (and probably during my stay there) made something click inside me. I'd never ever even try to tell anyone about my struggles again. I'm so fucking done. I don't even care if they actually regret what they said when I ctb, I don't care bc they didn't care about me.
This was around three years ago and it still hurts so badly, this chat will forever be burnt in my fcking memory lmao

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Disown them for as long as you can. That is disgusting behavior and they need to be given a wakeup call.

 

[tinyghost]

its so so disgusting of them to make fun and mock such a traumatizing experience. they don't deserve a single thing from you. its just baffling to me. and i cant believe that they called the police on you without even speaking to you. ive also had the police show up for me and it is so so terrifying. it's straight up dangerous to mentally ill people to stick the cops on them. was it 988 or another line? sometimes i consider a hotline just to have someone to talk to, i wanna make sure never to call.

 

[tarococo]

Disown them for as long as you can. That is disgusting behavior and they need to be given a wakeup call.

Yeah thats what I should've done immediately. My mum kept blaming it on alcoholism and that she wasn't in a clear state of mind or something when I talked to her her about this, they'd probably accuse me of being unforgiving/resentful when I confront them now since it has been a few years. But I really can't forget about this

 

[sad_rock]

Your struggle is not for their entertainment. It is abhorrent that they chose to laugh at your mental health when in discomfort. I am sorry that they resorted to laughing when you were in a vulnerable state.

 

[ve.nin]

I don't even remember how I found these messages on my mums phone, guess I was looking for something else or she made me search for a picture or smth. She was texting my grandmother, her mum. She told her that I started crying in an argument (I'm a huge crybaby and hate direct conflicts argh) and my grandmother answered "there'll probably be an ambulance arriving soon "
I remember this feeling like someone slapped me in the face.
She was referring to the night I got admitted to psych ward. I tried to ctb per partial hanging after having a bad fight with my mum. Since I couldn't figure out how to make myself pass out I ended up bruised and frustrated and just miserable. I cried that whole night and literally felt like a dumb kid. I just wanted to talk to someone, I don't even know why, but I ended up calling a suicide hotline. The second someone answered I got scared and ended the call immediately. Duh, obviously they still found out my location and sent an ambulance and the police.
I wouldn't have called if I knew that they'd send someone over. This kind of attention was the worst thing I ever experienced, I felt so embarrassed I literally remember wishing that I'd just drop dead.

When I was in psych ward my mum kept saying sorry, she sent me texts telling me how much she loves me and I actually started to believe her, I really thought she wanted to fix things. This actually gave me strength to give therapy a proper try, to try and finally get better.

Finding out that they were making fun of me and my mental health afterwards (and probably during my stay there) made something click inside me. I'd never ever even try to tell anyone about my struggles again. I'm so fucking done. I don't even care if they actually regret what they said when I ctb, I don't care bc they didn't care about me.
This was around three years ago and it still hurts so badly, this chat will forever be burnt in my fcking memory lmao

I'm terribly sorry they are such assholes

They don't deserve you. If you ever want to talk to someone, my chat is always open.

You can also join our Discord

Discord - Group Chat That’s All Fun & Games

Discord is great for playing games and chilling with friends, or even building a worldwide community. Customize your own space to talk, play, and hang out.

discord.gg

 

[tarococo]

its so so disgusting of them to make fun and mock such a traumatizing experience. they don't deserve a single thing from you. its just baffling to me. and i cant believe that they called the police on you without even speaking to you. ive also had the police show up for me and it is so so terrifying. it's straight up dangerous to mentally ill people to stick the cops on them. was it 988 or another line? sometimes i consider a hotline just to have someone to talk to, i wanna make sure never to call.

Yeah I never would've expected someone to show up, I felt so uncomfortable and ashamed :( it actually was a german hotline, I remember it popping up when I looked them up on google.
They said that they'd do this because there could always be the possibility of the caller not being able to actually ask for help anymore in case they already hurt themself or idk , as if talking to someone about this wasn't hard enough. I'm sure there are many people that actually hang up on them, just should've told her that I'm fine or that I changed my mind..

 

[justcallmeJ]

Thats so horrible, im sorry you have to deal with that. Family can be truly awful. I would just cut them off from your life slowly, they dont deserve you.

 

[tarococo]

They are dead, no longer your family, family is not blood but your favorite people and people who treat you right. And picking on you when you basically won't have a chance to find out, disgusting. This makes me sick and i have been insulted my while life.

Yeah, I often think about how I probably wouldn't have found out if she hasn't asked me to look for that picture. I'm glad she was dumb enough to forget about this and actually hand me her phone xD

 

[tarococo]

I'm terribly sorry they are such assholes

They don't deserve you. If you ever want to talk to someone, my chat is always open.

You can also join our Discord

Discord - Group Chat That’s All Fun & Games

Discord is great for playing games and chilling with friends, or even building a worldwide community. Customize your own space to talk, play, and hang out.

discord.gg

Thank you also for the invite, I'm pretty sure I'll join soon.
I've already had so many nice conversations since I joined yesterday.

I'm so glad I found this forum, having a place to openly talk about my struggles without the fear of being judged feels so comforting c: especially after going through situations like these with people in reallife.
Again, thank so much!

 

[ve.nin]

Thank you also for the invite, I'm pretty sure I'll join soon.
I've already had so many nice conversations since I joined yesterday.

I'm so glad I found this forum, having a place to openly talk about my struggles without the fear of being judged feels so comforting c: especially after going through situations like these with people in reallife.
Again, thank so much!

No problem. I am here for you anytime

 

[FuneralCry]

That's just so cruel, it's horrible how suffering people are treat so badly. But anyway best wishes, I personally agree that it's better to stay quiet.

 

[Iwillhavepeace]

How do you know they were making fun of you if it was just one text from your grandma saying that

 

[tarococo]

How do you know they were making fun of you if it was just one text from your grandma saying that

Good point, should've given more context but I didn't want to type out their whole convo since I already wrote so much and I'd have to translate everything, my mum thought that comment was hilarious. They kept sending laughing emojis and called me "Szenenmacher" which basically means drama queen in german, yehh they were absolutely making fun of me

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry your family is making fun of you. This behavior is not acceptable.

 

[Oguzok]

I don't even remember how I found these messages on my mums phone, guess I was looking for something else or she made me search for a picture or smth. She was texting my grandmother, her mum. She told her that I started crying in an argument (I'm a huge crybaby and hate direct conflicts argh) and my grandmother answered "there'll probably be an ambulance arriving soon "
I remember this feeling like someone slapped me in the face.
She was referring to the night I got admitted to psych ward. I tried to ctb per partial hanging after having a bad fight with my mum. Since I couldn't figure out how to make myself pass out I ended up bruised and frustrated and just miserable. I cried that whole night and literally felt like a dumb kid. I just wanted to talk to someone, I don't even know why, but I ended up calling a suicide hotline. The second someone answered I got scared and ended the call immediately. Duh, obviously they still found out my location and sent an ambulance and the police.
I wouldn't have called if I knew that they'd send someone over. This kind of attention was the worst thing I ever experienced, I felt so embarrassed I literally remember wishing that I'd just drop dead.

When I was in psych ward my mum kept saying sorry, she sent me texts telling me how much she loves me and I actually started to believe her, I really thought she wanted to fix things. This actually gave me strength to give therapy a proper try, to try and finally get better.

Finding out that they were making fun of me and my mental health afterwards (and probably during my stay there) made something click inside me. I'd never ever even try to tell anyone about my struggles again. I'm so fucking done. I don't even care if they actually regret what they said when I ctb, I don't care bc they didn't care about me.
This was around three years ago and it still hurts so badly, this chat will forever be burnt in my fcking memory lmao

WHAT? that's so evil I'm so sorry... I guess its jus thing of older generations to underestimate mental problems and seeing this as just tantrum kid throwing over a toy... Best wishes for you whatever you decide, but I hope you will separate or already separated with her..

 

[Kattt]

I was in a coma for a short while after my latest attempt. It's been a few years and I'm still recovering. When I regained consciousness, I couldn't move, talk or even understand anything that was being said.
When my parents asked me why I did it, my mum laughed at me. It's shit, right?
But it's important to remember that just like homophobia and racism, inappropriate behaviour like that of your mother and grandmother are a result of their ignorance.
I was in a coma for a short while after my latest attempt. It's been a few years and I'm still recovering. When I regained consciousness, I couldn't move, talk or even understand anything that was being said.
When my parents asked me why I did it, my mum laughed at me. It's shit, right?
But it's important to remember that just like homophobia and racism, inappropriate behaviour like that of your mother and grandmother are a result of their ignorance. We fear what we don't understand. That's human nature.

 

[Iwillhavepeace]

ok that's pretty harsh idk what you're going through but they probably think it's bullshit and don't think it's serious
People from the previous generation never got problems like us so they probably think suicide is stupid and nobody would ever legitimaly go through with it

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

I sort of relate to your post and found your pains resonating with me, as I also have family that is quite anti-mental health, I have repeatedly been abused because I tried seeking therapy for more than 3 years, at this point I have given up and I don't want to be put into a psych ward tied down and drugged because my mental state is that bad. I feel alone in my own home, being told that I if I am crazy and insane on other times says that there is nothing wrong with me and I should stop pretending. Especially how my debilitating loneliness is being treated as something I should get used to? If that is how I am suposed to live the rest of my life, than its better to cut it short. Its sickening that I am held captive wherever I go, I don't trust my family nor do I trust psychiatry anymore I am completely on my own.

 

[koro]

There are reasons why I can't really trust people including my family.
Since this was 3 yrs ago I hope you're feeling at least slightly better already.

 

[tinyghost]

Yeah I never would've expected someone to show up, I felt so uncomfortable and ashamed :( it actually was a german hotline, I remember it popping up when I looked them up on google.
They said that they'd do this because there could always be the possibility of the caller not being able to actually ask for help anymore in case they already hurt themself or idk , as if talking to someone about this wasn't hard enough. I'm sure there are many people that actually hang up on them, just should've told her that I'm fine or that I changed my mind..

it makes more sense that they would stay on the line and just be silent in that case? wtf germany?? im so glad thats over for you but still having to live around people like that.... ugh.

 

[LifeTransit_1]

To see how fucking idiotic society has become makes me want to puke. This just adds to my sad but very true point I rarely talk about on here. I see why going to CTB is may be your best and only choice at this point and I really feel bad for you that you got shitty ass parents.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

My mother called 9-11 and off the cops took me away in cuffs only to be screamed at by the birch ER doctor. When I was detained my mother had cut her arm up then nonchalantly showed me when I got back as if to say "look what I can get away with, but you can't".

Fuck these narcs. Fuck them to hell and back and back to hell again.