Family informing university of my death? Need family to not find out through this that I've changed courses

[Yoyo_honeybee]

I've pretty much decided I'm going to make my death look accidental from SWB in the bathtub. If I can't black out from hyperventilating I'm going to have to find another way to faint or something but this is my preferred method.
But I have to make sure that the death looks accidental for the sake of my family. This will include removing any traces from my devices of my plans/ distress before ctb that might be found by either my parents or even the police. I have documentations of mental health struggles with my GP, university and counsellors which might make them want to investigate whether it was a suicide so I need to ensure I don't leave any traces of evidence for this.

Another major thing I need to make sure is that my family don't find out that I've changed courses at my university without telling them. I would hate for them to find out about this from them contacting my university to inform them of my death when sorting out my admin. I imagine it'd go down something like my parents telling them that (my name) from XYZ course in their X year passed away and then the university getting back to them asking for my ID number and maybe saying do you mean (my name) studying ABC course? And then tell them that I changed courses from XYZ course previously when my parents express confusion.

Does anyone know how it goes with things like informing universities and how much they would reveal about a dead student to the relatives? And if there's anything I can do beforehand to lessen the likelihood of them finding out?

 

[bipbapbop]

When I worked for a university, part of training was that only a police warrant could get anyone any information about a specific students file. This was in the us so i don't know the rules elsewhere. However, I imagine this may be different in the case of a death. Sorry I can't offer you more help. Can I ask why this is such a concern for you?

 

[Yoyo_honeybee]

When I worked for a university, part of training was that only a police warrant could get anyone any information about a specific students file. This was in the us so i don't know the rules elsewhere. However, I imagine this may be different in the case of a death. Sorry I can't offer you more help. Can I ask why this is such a concern for you?

I'm outside US but I think the rules are similar. But yeah I assume it'd be different with deaths, I don't think they'd necessarily give my parents my file but I'm wary that my parents most likely won't think to look for my ID number and will use my name, the course they think I'm on and year they think I'm in as identifiers and am concerned the university might point out that they have my name under a different course to the one my parents mentioned.

My parents would be really upset if they find out I've been lying about which course I was on. I had to do this because I knew they wouldn't let me leave either but I was eventually planning on telling them. I know this would make my death much harder to process for my parents and extended family if they know I've been lying for around a year now and they had no idea, my mum would definitely feel extremely betrayed and am worried about how it'll affect my siblings and their going to university.

 

[bipbapbop]

My parents would be really upset if they find out I've been lying about which course I was on. I had to do this because I knew they wouldn't let me leave either but I was eventually planning on telling them. I know this would make my death much harder to process for my parents and extended family if they know I've been lying for around a year now and they had no idea, my mum would definitely feel extremely betrayed and am worried about how it'll affect my siblings and their going to ununiversity.

I hope this doesn't sound too prolife because i am staunchly pro choice, but I believe that sometimes our perceptions are warped when we are in such a difficult state. If your parents are not extreme outliers in humanity, it is likely that the loss of their child will be so overwhelming that they may not react to the smaller things like you are imagining. Death changes people. It puts into perspective what is important in life for everyone, especially those who are left behind. I obviously don't know your situation so I could be all wrong but that's just my two cents.

Whatever happens, I wish you luck and peace on your journey.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I honestly don't know if any confidentiality would apply for uni courses if you die, I can only say that there are instances I've seen when people die where the universities have agreed with next of kin to posthumously award the qualification, or a partial qualification, as some sort of honourary tribute. Maybe depends how close you are to qualifying. There may be some documented policy at your university you could check, like if they have a list of policies on their intranet, as it might be difficult to make a call to find out without triggering suspicion.

I'm sorry you are suffering and I hope you find some peace. X

 

[anxiousmess0471]

I agree that if something were to happen to you, your parents would focus on that more instead of what course you were taking at university. It probably won't even be something that significantly registers in their minds because they'll be more worried about you. I'm sorry you were not comfortable enough to share your choice of university course with your family. I hope that one day you get the happiness/peace you want.

 

[Yoyo_honeybee]

I hope this doesn't sound too prolife because i am staunchly pro choice, but I believe that sometimes our perceptions are warped when we are in such a difficult state. If your parents are not extreme outliers in humanity, it is likely that the loss of their child will be so overwhelming that they may not react to the smaller things like you are imagining. Death changes people. It puts into perspective what is important in life for everyone, especially those who are left behind. I obviously don't know your situation so I could be all wrong but that's just my two cents.

Whatever happens, I wish you luck and peace on your journey.

I get that, I can only hope so but knowing my parents the changing of my course will be a huge hit to them on top of my death. They were really passionate about the first course I got into and were angry whenever I brought up not doing it. I think the death will be a bigger thing first but the changing of course will also hit them really hard. Maybe more than the changing of course would be my lying to them and them not knowing

I agree that if something were to happen to you, your parents would focus on that more instead of what course you were taking at university. It probably won't even be something that significantly registers in their minds because they'll be more worried about you. I'm sorry you were not comfortable enough to share your choice of university course with your family. I hope that one day you get the happiness/peace you want.

I think it'd be the lying that would hit them the most, that I'd changed course for over a year and they didn't know. I didn't want to tell them yet because I knew it would wreck havoc on the family and for my siblings, but it's dragged on so long that they'd be more betrayed that I lied to them and they had no idea