Family cornered u to ctb,have all the reason to ctb

[Efilismislife]

I dont wanna endure this hell crying hurting everyday anymore i cant take it But im also scared of dying/pain/getting into worse situation.

is there anyone who can relate?

I also cant accept my own family killed me and be happy of my sufferings because theyre psychopath

got money, life insurance, etc and things after torturing me. eventhough theyre already so rich

Ive been here for long, i went here hoping to find a not-so-painful way to exit this hell. But i didnt know itll be this hard.

i thought with just antidepressant or phenobarbital is enough to ctb. I even bought them but its a fail plan now knowing it takes pento to work.

ive been hesitating to post but i guess ill just post my story though it might not matter.

i have all the reason to ctb. too much misery. But why cant i do it..?

-dont even have friend, not even family. Because its my own family who destroy my life because theyre psychopath
-cant even deal with social life when so broken
-terrible incurable chronic rare diseases
-experiences almost dying many times which traumatized me
-broken dreams, career, everything. Because of my own family
-tortured, neglected mentally & physically by family

Been dealing with this since 8 years old but over the time its getting worse&more issues piling up


Back then many people wanting to take me, adopt me and say i have many good traits, talents, looks, but my family wouldnt let me and choose to destroy me instead. My sibling want to destroy me aiming to be the only center of attention and my parents support it instead of doing their job to help me

i dont understand why family could be so evil of breeding a child only to let it suffer



All the other aunts&uncles just being a bystander and victim blaming me to just accept being assigned to bad fate. "Unlucky people, loser who cant fight back, ITS YOUR KARMA! ITS GODS PLAN!"

IS IT TRUE THAT RELIGION IS THAT CRUEL?

Thats how evil the world is

so its the baby fault if theyre being tortured or negelect by adults, many babies being thrown in trash and died, children being sold for money.
Its their sin??

i dont even have anyone to talk thats why i just post here due to desperation

 

[_Seeking]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hate religion and people who talk about karma. I think suffering is random, stupid genetics can fuck you up and that is not anyone's fault. Some people have kids only to cause them to suffer greatly, there is no sense to it. Religion and the idea of karma is used to keep people in line, so that they fear doing something bad and behave like society wants them to. Then assholes use it to justify why someone is going through a rough time, it is best to ignore these cruel people, they have no empathy.

 

[Efilismislife]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hate religion and people who talk about karma. I think suffering is random, stupid genetics can fuck you up and that is not anyone's fault. Some people have kids only to cause them to suffer greatly, there is no sense to it. Religion and the idea of karma is used to keep people in line, so that they fear doing something bad and behave like society wants them to. Then assholes use it to justify why someone is going through a rough time, it is best to ignore these cruel people, they have no empathy.

Its being used to justify to torment people. I wonder if the table turns around and theyre the one getting stomped on. They get the taste by their own poisom an being judged by their own theory. They wont feel happy about it. When its them thats hurting.

Its hurting me because the people who victim blaming are supposed to be my saviour and blood related. I didnt expect they could be cruel.

It also reminds me how people could blame rape victim/child abuse that theyre the one who wants to be violated

 

[Efilismislife]

So even in here theres nobody who is as alone and broken as me...?

im so stuck not wanting to continue this hell but also cant stop all this

Its a curse and people who brought a child to this horrible place just to suffer are monsters they should be pay/be responsible for their evilness