Discussion Falling in love. A blessing or a curse?

[Spyro24]

Decided to write this post since this is something I struggle with.

The amount of pain I'm in due to my depression is insane. I recently experienced falling in love and I cannot decide whether it's a blessing or a curse. When everything goes right, the dopamine hit makes me forget everything but when even the slightest thing goes wrong, everything collapses.

This is what I call the rollercoaster of torture. It can't get much worse than this. Feeling great one moment and feeling like ass the next. I can't tell if my brain is just chasing the dopamine high or if I'm actually falling in love for the most stupid reasons.

I'm curious to see if anyone else is going through this and would love to talk with likeminded individuals.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

*insert cringy rick and morty quote about love and science here*

 

[catharsisinblood]

I feel the same way. I just regret having allowed myself to meet someone when I knew I wasn't ok mentally and sooner or later one of my attempts will work out.... So its just another person to the Pain Circle I will leave behind....

 

[Marine]

Decided to write this post since this is something I struggle with.

The amount of pain I'm in due to my depression is insane. I recently experienced falling in love and I cannot decide whether it's a blessing or a curse. When everything goes right, the dopamine hit makes me forget everything but when even the slightest thing goes wrong, everything collapses.

This is what I call the rollercoaster of torture. It can't get much worse than this. Feeling great one moment and feeling like ass the next. I can't tell if my brain is just chasing the dopamine high or if I'm actually falling in love for the most stupid reasons.

I'm curious to see if anyone else is going through this and would love to talk with likeminded individuals.

It's a double edged sword like you said. Which is why finding the right person who can make you feel safe and secure by sticking with you, caring about you and working things with you is so important.

 

[NotYourFriend]

It's a curse unless reciprocated. Personally, I made - well I didn't choose to - the mistake of doing so. I'm pretty ugly so that's the end of that. We're mammals and were designed to reproduce. 'Love' is just a mechanism intertwined with that.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

Both?

The controlling person is usually the person who loves you less than you love them and they might know it.
I'm sorry you have to experience this cruelty.

 

[hellispink]

Based on my experience, it is a curse (but mostly a decision that one does if we perceive it as worth)…It feels nice and the things that one lives in a reciprocated relationship are very fulfilling. However, it always ends in a broken heart. Idealization and the chemicals that are present the first year of relationship won't be present after a few years. Love is also constant sacrifice and drama. Because its two different people trying to commit to something while following a bunch of rules about whats healthy and what is not. In my opinion, is most certain one of the two will fall for someone else, cheat or just leave the relationship. Not everyone is like this but most are and they just get bored and find replacements. Most will always find something else that interests them. So for me (myself) is not worth it to be happy for a while to then loose all my stability and mental health due to it.

 

[Tired_only]

I've experienced loving people and them not loving me back. No one of the opposite sex has ever loved me. Not one single person. Its funny when people say when you kill urself ur friends and family or loved ones will have the pain transfer to them, but some of us have no one that f*ing loves us.

I hate when people talk about love/relationships it makes me more depressed and suicidal, i just saw 2 friends fall in love in a tv series im watching, go on dates, kiss and i cant explain the extreme pain i feel inside seeing them, i start crying and want to jump off a f*ing bridge. How do i make this pain go away.

 

[Idontcare0]

I think it could go either way.

When you are starting off in a bad place within yourself, it may make things better, but on the flip side, it could put you through a lot of ups and downs, and "downs," aren't really great when you don't have much further down that you can go.

And being in a bad place, it may be hard to give someone else what they feel they need in a relationship, increasing the chance of it not working out.

Also, if you really fall for someone, and it doesn't work out, it could be extremely painful. Which is the last thing that someone who is already hurting needs.

That said, I know if I thought I could do something that would help me find peace and happiness, I would do it.

 

[September5th]

Curse. I would take my pre love life any day of the week. Sure, a bit lonely and melancholic at times. But, I didn't have to cope with memories and my depression would be significantly smaller. I wouldn't have to deal with the fact that I hurt someone because of my inherent issues.

 

[outatime_85]

I don't know if falling in love is a curse or not. The phrase "it depends" comes to mind.

A part of me still thinks it can be a great thing to experience in life, provided the other party is an honest broker.

Find the right one and life can feel like Peter Parker and Mary Jane (not perfect, but right).

On the other hand, get involved with the wrong suitor and life can feel like you are in a fight with Doctor Octopus, The Sandman, and The Green Goblin.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

A curse, for the most part. If you're a man it's unlikely a woman will reciprocate. But in a way it's nice to feel it anyway.

 

[September5th]

Went to a party this weekend and hooked up with eight girls. I already had kissed one of them, the other seven were new to me (one of them even fucked up my neck).
I felt good, but after going back home, my depression stepped in again. I miss the days I had just kissed a single girl, my favorite person. Old me (pre-love) would probably be happy as all hell, but all I can feel is empty.
I can't forgive myself for loosing her. Every time I think of her with another dude, I know it's my fault. Every time I miss her (and that happens a lot), I think of how things could've been different.
I know it's unrealistic, but all I truly wanted was to go back some months and smell her hair once again. Feel her skin... Listen to her laugh...

I'm going to sleep right now. I'm probably going to have a shitty night. Just wanted to vent before doing so.

 

[releasespieces]

It's a part of the human drama. It wouldn't mean so much to any of us if it weren't for the fact that humanity has been pushing the same ideological approach to understanding intimate relations to others since the dawn of civilization. In other words… none of us would even consider a concept such as loving someone if it weren't for the fact that the orchestrated human dream hadn't created it in the first place. Love is a drug, like most drugs it has its ups and downs. Once someone has matured on an introspective level, it becomes rather foolish and childish to see life and love in such a dramatic way. One person seeks to love someone outside of themselves in a delusional attempt to understand and love themselves, it's a distraction from self-realization.

 

[coyotestark]

Falling in love is rare, appreciate the time you had with that person.

 

[deathbecomesus]

Falling in love was the worst mistake I have ever made in my entire life. The first time I allowed it to happen, it broke me.

 

[Trezzohno]

Never fell in love or had much romantic success. But from the people in my life who did....it quickly became a curse and their worst mistake. It's also created a whole in their heart which they would desperately try to fill with new partners which also fails miserably

 

[scaredycat84]

Decided to write this post since this is something I struggle with.

The amount of pain I'm in due to my depression is insane. I recently experienced falling in love and I cannot decide whether it's a blessing or a curse. When everything goes right, the dopamine hit makes me forget everything but when even the slightest thing goes wrong, everything collapses.

This is what I call the rollercoaster of torture. It can't get much worse than this. Feeling great one moment and feeling like ass the next. I can't tell if my brain is just chasing the dopamine high or if I'm actually falling in love for the most stupid reasons.

I'm curious to see if anyone else is going through this and would love to talk with likeminded individuals.

I feel like in my life it's been a curse. I've had so many relationships and none have been successful all have been hurtful, hard, may were abusive, painful, scary. I'm always lied to, used for an ego boost and cheated on
I want a partner for life, badly but I don't believe there's one out there for me.
I'm almost 38.
You'd think I'd of found him by now...