Method failed shotgun suicide, going poising method

[youcancallmejohan]

19M sorry for my terrible spelling and im new to thread type forums.


I attempted suicide via shotgun under the chin on December 4th(evidence above or below idk how to use forums sorry), I failed due to lack of research and inexperience in handling weapons, and to be honest just complete luck. Afterall Its really hard to fuck up a point blank gunshot blast but I managed to do it. Everyone tells me this was a miracle from God, but its just reinforced my depression, especially regarding my inability to succeed at anything no matter how easy including dying from a gunblast. But after 6 months of hospital recovery including 7+ surgeries and a month in the psychward. I have finally have been given the opportunity to end it once and for all. Due to the complete obliteration of my jaw i've lost half of my tongue and complete loss of my teeth due to the blast. But now I have a feeding tube that has been inserted into me, so the way i eat and drink is through a large bag that I connect to my tube which goes directly into my stomach, so there is no taste. I've decided that now i can essentially put in any liquid(i also have a pill crusher thats how i take in liquid medication) so i can also add that. I am currently thinking of putting in gallons of absolute ethanol mixed with crushed up sodium nitrite into one combination and while im slowly poisonings myself to death ill just watch some of my favorite YouTube videos before i go out. But really what im asking is if theres any better combinations of liquids or chemicals that i can legally get a hold of that might be quicker than alcohol and salt poisoning. I don't care about how painful it is, after all, the last thought i had before i passed out after my initial suicide attempt was that i deserved to die much more painfully than this. Thank you for reading

 

[Oblivionetc]

What country are you in and are you in a place where you can safely order stuff online? I don't think ethanol is painless, but I honestly don't know much about poisoning so I can't help much, sorry.

But, best of luck, I hope whatever is on the other side is good for you.

 

[orange7201]

My lord, as someone going the firearm route this is my worst nightmare.

 

[CatLvr]

Bless your heart -- I am SO sorry you have been through so much. I feel kinda guilty for whining about my chronic pain now because I truly cannot fathom dealing with what you have been through.

My lord, as someone going the firearm route this is my worst nightmare.

Same here.

 

[wannabeangel]

i have a feeding tube as well GJ specifically i plan on using my tube to take SN so i dont have to taste it. im not sure about the ethanol tho, ik when having regular alcohol thru my J port of my tube bypassing the stomach straight into ur guts it hits really hard

 

[youcancallmejohan]

What country are you in and are you in a place where you can safely order stuff online? I don't think ethanol is painless, but I honestly don't know much about poisoning so I can't help much, sorry.

But, best of luck, I hope whatever is on the other side is good for you.

I live in the united states specifically midwest i can use amazon walmart target ECT

Bless your heart -- I am SO sorry you have been through so much. I feel kinda guilty for whining about my chronic pain now because I truly cannot fathom dealing with what you have been through.


Same here.

no pain invalidates another person suffering. I'm sorry about your situation and i hope it gets better, just please don't make the same mistake i did and give up

My lord, as someone going the firearm route this is my worst nightmare.

Just don't go under the chin go side temple or in your mouth 45 degrees towards the brain also surviving firearm is like 1 in a million it's an irrational fear to worry about

 

[ZEROEDOUT]

Wish I had the kind of answers you're looking for. Not really sure if you're strictly looking for answers or not. Just wanted to give my regards. I'm really sorry people are trying to spin what has happened to you as a miracle. It's very frustrating when nobody understands.

 

[youcancallmejohan]

Wish I had the kind of answers you're looking for. Not really sure if you're strictly looking for answers or not. Just wanted to give my regards. I'm really sorry people are trying to spin what has happened to you as a miracle. It's very frustrating when nobody understands.

thank you

i have a feeding tube as well GJ specifically i plan on using my tube to take SN so i dont have to taste it. im not sure about the ethanol tho, ik when having regular alcohol thru my J port of my tube bypassing the stomach straight into ur guts it hits really hard

id really appreciate if youd tell me the correct methadology for SN through a feeding tube.

i have a feeding tube as well GJ specifically i plan on using my tube to take SN so i dont have to taste it. im not sure about the ethanol tho, ik when having regular alcohol thru my J port of my tube bypassing the stomach straight into ur guts it hits really hard

id really appreciate if youd tell me the correct methadology for SN through a feeding tube.

 

[ireallywasnttogopls]

i'm so sorry you poor soul you will find peace one day

thank you

id really appreciate if youd tell me the correct methadology for SN through a feeding tube.

id really appreciate if youd tell me the correct methadology for SN through a feeding tube.

if you turn on dms i can provide a source for sn if needed

 

[Endstati0n]

Have you applied for MAID? You might have a good chance. I'm so sorry for your circunstances.

I'm sending you a hug my friend.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I live in the united states specifically midwest i can use amazon walmart target ECT

no pain invalidates another person suffering. I'm sorry about your situation and i hope it gets better, just please don't make the same mistake i did and give up

Just don't go under the chin go side temple or in your mouth 45 degrees towards the brain also surviving firearm is like 1 in a million it's an irrational fear to worry about

What specific ammo did u use?

if I do the gun method I would go on side of head just above or behind ear

shotgun , powerful gun , rifle temple would be lethal cause of temp cavitation , hot gasses , and arteries getting destroyed. im many casses a shotgun rifle or a handgun like the .460 magnum will explode the skull

this video of a shotgun slug shows how it would destroy the brain. the brain is inelastic. a high-powered bullet entering the brain case anywhere would destroy rhe brain.



the .460 magnun handgun even the 5.3 inch shorter barrel exploded ballistic dummy head



wouldn't mixing sn and alcohol cause more vomiting?

 

[ElfQueens]

Just don't go under the chin go side temple or in your mouth 45 degrees towards the brain also surviving firearm is like 1 in a million it's an irrational fear to worry about

Temple will likely just damage the PFC, maybe a bit of the parietal or temporal lobes. Which uhh, look up Phineas Gage as for what that might mean. You may end up with personality changes, memory issues (at least if hitting the temporal) or other cognitive or emotional problems, but a partial loss of the neocortex is totally survivable, at least if the wound is treated (if not you'll probably eventually die from hemorrhage or infection, which is less than pleasant or quick). - Lira

 

[youcancallmejohan]

i'm so sorry you poor soul you will find peace one day

if you turn on dms i can provide a source for sn if needed

i'm not sure how to turn on dms, would you be willing to add my discord and provide a source through there? i'd greatly appreciate that

 

[ZwartHartje]

i'm not sure how to turn on dms, would you be willing to add my discord and provide a source through there? i'd greatly appreciate that

Messaging is turned on automatically once you've been a member for long enough or you've posted a number of times, or perhaps a combination of both factors. You've been here only for 3 days, you only need to wait a bit and make a few more posts/replies, then you get direct messaging, search function, chat option... it didn't take long for me, less than a week I think.

 

[Pvnie]

Fuck dude that's gnarly as shit. I still think you should value an easy painless death or at least one that's as painless as possible.

 

[youcancallmejohan]

Messaging is turned on automatically once you've been a member for long enough or you've posted a number of times, or perhaps a combination of both factors. You've been here only for 3 days, you only need to wait a bit and make a few more posts/replies, then you get direct messaging, search function, chat option... it didn't take long for me, less than a week I think.

thank you

Fuck dude that's gnarly as shit. I still think you should value an easy painless death or at least one that's as painless as possible.

i tried a painless death and failed, maybe its the world telling me i dont deserve an easy way out, if i want out, Ill have to do it the hard way

 

[SilentVelvet]

I think with SN you will definitely be on the safe side. But also consider taking something for nausea, etc., as it can apparently become very unpleasant otherwise, according to some threads in this forum.

Maybe benzos? So that you lose consciousness faster?

 

[N-methylamphetamine]

please be careful man

 

[tomame]

i want to cry .. i'm so sorry this happened to you

 

[komakun]

calling it a miracle after everything you had to go through is diabolical. I'm so sorry this happened to you