Failed just now

[watermelonsugaré]

I just failed going through with drinking the N, this is the furthest I've gotten
I fasted for about 9 hours then took the 30mg stat meto dose and waited about an hour, poured the N into a shaker, coated my mouth with honey and laid in bed for a good 5 min or so but I just couldn't drink the N, I almost did but I simply pussied out.

I've got a banging headache from the meto I assume, this is the second time taking the meto, the first 10mg test I did a few weeks ago gave me some involuntary movement problems but that supposedly goes away in time. Hope I don't get another health issue from the 30mg stat dose I took.
I feel so weird right now, why is it so hard, life is hard, dying is hard, everything is hard. Maybe I have to try anothjer method or something, idk

Anyone know how long N lasts after it has been poured into a shaker? It's very well sealed but still it was out in the air for a good 15 min or so

 

[dredd1981]

I did kinda the same thing…..had my gun to my head but just couldn't pull the trigger….I had been walking around in a daze for days and in the day of my attempt, shooting myself was the only thing on my mind…..but as soon as the moment came it's like I woke up and realised what I was doing and couldn't do it. Right now I wish I had done it, if I could have known my life would turn to shit I'd totally have done it. But I didn't, so now I have to try and keep my shit together and take things a day at a time. And that's my advice to you, just take things a day at a time, put what happened behind you and try to move on as best you can

 

[headwood]

I'm afraid I have no advice on getting beyond the fear and overcoming SI, but as for your question about how long N lasts after opening -- this is from the thread entitled The N Files 2.0:

Once the seal has been broken and the liquid exposed to ambient air and moisture, its shelf life is dramatically reduced. Exactly how long it will stay good for after opening is up for debate, but it is generally accepted to be a few weeks to a couple of months after opening.

If you notice the contents become milky/cloudy, this is a sign that the contents are precipitating out of the solution and possibly degrading. At this point testing can be performed to help determine if the N is still usable, however replacing the N should be considered.

 

[watermelonsugaré]

I'm afraid I have no advice on getting beyond the fear and overcoming SI, but as for your question about how long N lasts after opening -- this is from the thread entitled The N Files 2.0:

thank you bro

 

[downndone2]

I get restless legs with meto, won't take it if I ctb with N. I'll have to go another route.
I'm sorry about everything. SI sucks.
Sounds like you weren't ready and that is completely okay

 

[headwood]

@downndone2 - I can't take meto either, afraid of it causing serious damage due to my neurological disease should I fail my attempt with N. Have you read this thread RE: vomiting and N? It sort of puts my mind at ease and has given me some confidence in skipping the antiemetic with N.

 

[No Entertainment]

I get restless legs with meto, won't take it if I ctb with N. I'll have to go another route.
I'm sorry about everything. SI sucks.
Sounds like you weren't ready and that is completely okay

What's SI?

 

[Slimetae]

What's SI?

Survival instinct

 

[No Entertainment]

Survival instinct

Thanks. I thought it was Suicidal Ideation.

 

[Slimetae]

I know how it feels to fail your at you're attempts man it's sucks I hope you find peace

 

[Ta555]

Not sure what other method would be better than N tbh...sorry that happened. SI is a bitch.

 

[motel rooms]

I did kinda the same thing…..had my gun to my head but just couldn't pull the trigger….I had been walking around in a daze for days and in the day of my attempt, shooting myself was the only thing on my mind…..but as soon as the moment came it's like I woke up and realised what I was doing and couldn't do it. Right now I wish I had done it, if I could have known my life would turn to shit I'd totally have done it.

It's a good thing you didn't pull the trigger; you're supposed to put the gun in your mouth.

 

[freedompass]

I just failed going through with drinking the N, this is the furthest I've gotten
I fasted for about 9 hours then took the 30mg stat meto dose and waited about an hour, poured the N into a shaker, coated my mouth with honey and laid in bed for a good 5 min or so but I just couldn't drink the N, I almost did but I simply pussied out.

I've got a banging headache from the meto I assume, this is the second time taking the meto, the first 10mg test I did a few weeks ago gave me some involuntary movement problems but that supposedly goes away in time. Hope I don't get another health issue from the 30mg stat dose I took.
I feel so weird right now, why is it so hard, life is hard, dying is hard, everything is hard. Maybe I have to try anothjer method or something, idk

Anyone know how long N lasts after it has been poured into a shaker? It's very well sealed but still it was out in the air for a good 15 min or so

Oh man. That really sucks on several levels. N is not cheap and by exposing it to air you probably decreased its shelf life. I'd say pour it into a plastic bottle and seal tightly. It may still be good if you decide to try again. I too really hope you don't get bad knock on effects from the meto. Another method, oh man you had the gold standard but I do get it, I had N myself years ago and never even came close to using it to ctb. Totally hear you on how hard this all is, hugs to you and I hope the headache eases off soon.

 

[dredd1981]

It's a good thing you didn't pull the trigger; you're supposed to put the gun in your mouth.

It doesn't really matter, mouth/head, the bullet is still going to go into your brain and cause an ungodly amount of damage

 

[Endtimes1]

It's also possible to create vacuum by using a transparent plastic bag around the bottle and sucking all the air out and then sealing inside of the bag.

 

[motel rooms]

It doesn't really matter, mouth/head, the bullet is still going to go into your brain and cause an ungodly amount of damage

It matters... You have to aim for the brainstem.

 

[freedompass]

It doesn't really matter, mouth/head, the bullet is still going to go into your brain and cause an ungodly amount of damage

Undoubtedly the question is will the damage kill you. Scariest thing about gunshot method by far is ending up alive but half your face missing. I'm no expert but they do say mouth is best.

 

[bed]

Sorry, i know the feeling too well. My N has also been opened but for a longer period of time and is still fine. If it gives you any solace here are two pubmed articles on the stability of N. It will last a long time still, it will just slowly lose potency.

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Stability of pentobarbital sodium after reconstitution in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes - PubMed

The stability of pentobarbital sodium (10 mg/mL) in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and pentobarbital sodium (50 mg/mL) after repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes has been studied at 25 deg C by means of a stability-indicating high-performance liquid chromatography assay method. The...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Pentobarbital is very stable.

 

[outrider567]

I just failed going through with drinking the N, this is the furthest I've gotten
I fasted for about 9 hours then took the 30mg stat meto dose and waited about an hour, poured the N into a shaker, coated my mouth with honey and laid in bed for a good 5 min or so but I just couldn't drink the N, I almost did but I simply pussied out.

I've got a banging headache from the meto I assume, this is the second time taking the meto, the first 10mg test I did a few weeks ago gave me some involuntary movement problems but that supposedly goes away in time. Hope I don't get another health issue from the 30mg stat dose I took.
I feel so weird right now, why is it so hard, life is hard, dying is hard, everything is hard. Maybe I have to try anothjer method or something, idk

Anyone know how long N lasts after it has been poured into a shaker? It's very well sealed but still it was out in the air for a good 15 min or so

meto I took for acid reflux about 20 years ago, Good Lord what a mistake, it made me super hyper and got insomnia also and got weird tics--not surprised you got side effects from it

I just failed going through with drinking the N, this is the furthest I've gotten
I fasted for about 9 hours then took the 30mg stat meto dose and waited about an hour, poured the N into a shaker, coated my mouth with honey and laid in bed for a good 5 min or so but I just couldn't drink the N, I almost did but I simply pussied out.

I've got a banging headache from the meto I assume, this is the second time taking the meto, the first 10mg test I did a few weeks ago gave me some involuntary movement problems but that supposedly goes away in time. Hope I don't get another health issue from the 30mg stat dose I took.
I feel so weird right now, why is it so hard, life is hard, dying is hard, everything is hard. Maybe I have to try anothjer method or something, idk

Anyone know how long N lasts after it has been poured into a shaker? It's very well sealed but still it was out in the air for a good 15 min or so

Another method? Well there is Nitrogen but it cost money

Not sure what other method would be better than N tbh...sorry that happened. SI is a bitch.

Nitrogen

 

[SubZero]

t

I just failed going through with drinking the N, this is the furthest I've gotten
I fasted for about 9 hours then took the 30mg stat meto dose and waited about an hour, poured the N into a shaker, coated my mouth with honey and laid in bed for a good 5 min or so but I just couldn't drink the N, I almost did but I simply pussied out.

I've got a banging headache from the meto I assume, this is the second time taking the meto, the first 10mg test I did a few weeks ago gave me some involuntary movement problems but that supposedly goes away in time. Hope I don't get another health issue from the 30mg stat dose I took.
I feel so weird right now, why is it so hard, life is hard, dying is hard, everything is hard. Maybe I have to try anothjer method or something, idk

Anyone know how long N lasts after it has been poured into a shaker? It's very well sealed but still it was out in the air for a good 15 min or so

I am so sorry man. I am planning to use it myself but I am afraid I will get scared in the last second and not drink my N. I know that's the only way out of my suffering but I know SI is so strong now this is why I am searching for an option to lower it, so far without success.

 

[watermelonsugaré]

meto I took for acid reflux about 20 years ago, Good Lord what a mistake, it made me super hyper and got insomnia also and got weird tics--not surprised you got side effects from it

Another method? Well there is Nitrogen but it cost money

Nitrogen

so sorry you got those nasty side effects from meto, did they eventually go away? or are you still dealing with them?

 

[Lost Magic]

sorry to hear that. Survival Instinct is a bitch for many people. Get an air tight glass bottle or container to store the liquid. I really don't know how long it will last, but you definitely need to find something air tight to store the N liquid again.

Sorry, i know the feeling too well. My N has also been opened but for a longer period of time and is still fine. If it gives you any solace here are two pubmed articles on the stability of N. It will last a long time still, it will just slowly lose potency.

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Stability of pentobarbital sodium after reconstitution in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes - PubMed

The stability of pentobarbital sodium (10 mg/mL) in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and pentobarbital sodium (50 mg/mL) after repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes has been studied at 25 deg C by means of a stability-indicating high-performance liquid chromatography assay method. The...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Pentobarbital is very stable.

This is informative. How long do you reckon the N would last after exposed to air but later put into another air tight jar or something?

 

[outrider567]

so sorry you got those nasty side effects from meto, did they eventually go away? or are you still dealing with them?

No, I stopped taking it after a week, that was 20 years ago

 

[bed]

sorry to hear that. Survival Instinct is a bitch for many people. Get an air tight glass bottle or container to store the liquid. I really don't know how long it will last, but you definitely need to find something air tight to store the N liquid again.

This is informative. How long do you reckon the N would last after exposed to air but later put into another air tight jar or something?

given what both articles are insinuating i'd assume years still - yes it will lose some potency but not enough to defer from ctb. I guess i have no way of knowing for sure but mine's been "contaminated" for months now. In the first article, it mentions going "yellow" aka cloudy which doesn't mean anything in their reference.

As for the second article, it was boiled for 1.5hrs and barely lost any potency. This i believe goes to show that it will last far longer than most people believe.

I strongly think people are mostly scared about potency and losing the method because of how novel of a substance it is and how hard it can be to obtain as well as it being a "golden ticket" to many; making them worried about it going bad quickly. I don't blame them I was also a nervous wreck.

I'm almost positive D already supplies expired N - which really doesn't mean anything besides that it can't be used in a medical setting. He shows no proof of batch numbers. As well as i find it hard to believe he can obtain the amount of N he does without buying expired N and reselling it.

I'm just mentioning this to show that "expired" N is still potent as well as N being exposed to air. There are Erowid articles (anecdotal i know) on people using N recreationally as well as expired N and the only noticeable difference was "expired" N tasting worse. N will just slowly degrade over time, albeit faster since it's been exposed but not quickly by any means. That's just not how most chemicals work.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you had this experience. Suicide can be very difficult, even if you have a peaceful method. The survival instinct can certainly be so frustrating. You are right that both dying and living are hard. If only there was a way to fall asleep and never wake without having to go through the process of ctb. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do and I hope you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Ta555]

meto I took for acid reflux about 20 years ago, Good Lord what a mistake, it made me super hyper and got insomnia also and got weird tics--not surprised you got side effects from it

Another method? Well there is Nitrogen but it cost money

Nitrogen

Nitrogen may be just as peaceful but way more things can go wrong.

 

[downndone2]

What's SI?

Survival instinct

 

[Graytaichi]

Your SI is really strong. Perhaps u want to wait another day. There is no rush in doing so.

 

[gottablast888]

have u ever done a test ? i have done multiple tests and knowing how peaceful and tranquil it is i have a lot less fear to drink it . but lets see what happens when the day truly comes

 

[watermelonsugaré]

Your SI is really strong. Perhaps u want to wait another day. There is no rush in doing so.

for sure, life aint finished with me just yet

have u ever done a test ? i have done multiple tests and knowing how peaceful and tranquil it is i have a lot less fear to drink it . but lets see what happens when the day truly comes

na never, i dont intend to neither i think