XxEstenxX
A Borderline is speaking. Listen and Learn.
- Feb 10, 2026
- 68
PSH.
First try I realized the rope was too short. Second time it was too long I think. Definitely hurt while I was kneeling and pushing down, but I didnt pass out, just felt a small ringing for awhile and of course my head felt kinda tight. My survival instincts are NOT gonna allow me to keep pushing my head down on that noose lol especially when its so easy to get up because of how long the rope was, so I just gave up.
Why is intentionally dying actually so hard, yet so many people who want to live die by random shit like a house explosion? Life is so unfair. I dont know what to do now. I could attempt to psh again but I think I'll need to buy another rope and I'm unemployed so that'll take awhile....(and Amazon delivered the rope in a see through bag last time. Luckily my cousin who doesnt really give a shit got the package and never questioned it, but I cant risk my ma or anyone else seeing that...)
I'm seriously considering OD'ing even though I know that's a useless method. I'm just so desperate to die. I cant continue to be abandoned anymore. I have no future either. There's no point in me being alive so I want out. But its so, so hard to die...
First try I realized the rope was too short. Second time it was too long I think. Definitely hurt while I was kneeling and pushing down, but I didnt pass out, just felt a small ringing for awhile and of course my head felt kinda tight. My survival instincts are NOT gonna allow me to keep pushing my head down on that noose lol especially when its so easy to get up because of how long the rope was, so I just gave up.
Why is intentionally dying actually so hard, yet so many people who want to live die by random shit like a house explosion? Life is so unfair. I dont know what to do now. I could attempt to psh again but I think I'll need to buy another rope and I'm unemployed so that'll take awhile....(and Amazon delivered the rope in a see through bag last time. Luckily my cousin who doesnt really give a shit got the package and never questioned it, but I cant risk my ma or anyone else seeing that...)
I'm seriously considering OD'ing even though I know that's a useless method. I'm just so desperate to die. I cant continue to be abandoned anymore. I have no future either. There's no point in me being alive so I want out. But its so, so hard to die...
