Failed attempt despite chance to jump and SN in my possession 😥

[flowerbomb]

Few weeks ago I had the chance on a 350m high viewing platform with barely no barrister or people there - i dont want to name the exact place - but I couldnt make myself jump. Fuck SI!!!!!!

Have SN here, bought from DSL in march. But even with a well prepared setup and completely ready, SI kicked in. I hate it so much!!! I am biggest failure ever!! I so much want to die!!!
And I have everything I need, 50gr SN, domperidone, benzodiazepine. So ready. But still failed.

I hate every day!!! I just want to end it!!!
How do you cope with failed attempts? How can I beat fucking SI???

I just want to die.

 

[isthisthingon]

I feel your pain. Everyday I say, "this is the day", before I know if the day is over. And when I wake up I feel awful like a failure. I relive all the burdens that have brought me here and the future burdens that will sting even more.

I don't want to live to feel anymore of this pain, but I can't get over SI either. I have a firearm and SN. Both excellent methods, yet here I am still suffering this mental torture.

I don't think there are any tricks to overcome this, we just have to take action and attempt. There's nothing else to do .

 

[flowerbomb]

Thank you so much for your kind words!! I am so sorry that you have to go through this hell too. the pain of failing is unbearable. I just wish it was all over!!

 

[needtofindrightway]

I also stepped back from my SN attempt. I know exactly how you feel. Be kind to yourself!!
I sedn hugs.

 

[flowerbomb]

I also stepped back from my SN attempt. I know exactly how you feel. Be kind to yourself!!
I sedn hugs.

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