Help Facing the possibility of prison. Need to CTB.

[doublecupj]

Without going into detail, there's a real possibility of me going to prison for a long time in one of the worst states in the US. I don't think I can survive that and even if I did, I don't think my life would be worthwhile from that point forward.

What stops me is not wanting to hurt my girlfriend, my mother, my father, and my grandfather.

Especially my girlfriend. She is the sweetest person ever, she's a wonderful mom to her 2 kids and she doesn't deserve to hurt. But I worry that if I am locked up, she's going to have to move on anyway and that will be just as painful.

I have a note/text written for her and some of my closest family. My method is a 12 guage shotgun with .00 buckshot. I plan on shooting myself through the mouth. I am wondering what death is like, and part of that is also scary.

I probably need to do this either today or tomorrow. I just want my sweet girlfriend to know I love her forever and I want her to be ok.

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

12 guage shotgun with .00 buckshot

I don't recognize any of those words. I only know smaller weapons that are used in war and self defense. Like currently I am thinking that I myself want to use hollow point rounds and probably a .48. But I have turned to researching drugs and drug combinations instead. Turns out that chemistry is really complicated and most scientists don't even know how any of these patented molecules even work at all. So I'm getting nowhere. Hopefully your method works and there is no pain involved.


PS: The worst state in the US is definitely New York. Lots of rapists and useless gang members that failed at integrating into society because they have no soul. They are the ones that make it terrible.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

I envy Americans with their access to boomsticks.

 

[darksouls]

Without going into detail, there's a real possibility of me going to prison for a long time in one of the worst states in the US. I don't think I can survive that and even if I did, I don't think my life would be worthwhile from that point forward.

What stops me is not wanting to hurt my girlfriend, my mother, my father, and my grandfather.

Especially my girlfriend. She is the sweetest person ever, she's a wonderful mom to her 2 kids and she doesn't deserve to hurt. But I worry that if I am locked up, she's going to have to move on anyway and that will be just as painful.

I have a note/text written for her and some of my closest family. My method is a 12 guage shotgun with .00 buckshot. I plan on shooting myself through the mouth. I am wondering what death is like, and part of that is also scary.

I probably need to do this either today or tomorrow. I just want my sweet girlfriend to know I love her forever and I want her to be ok.

I am so sorry for your situation, I wish you the best

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Without going into detail, there's a real possibility of me going to prison for a long time in one of the worst states in the US. I don't think I can survive that and even if I did, I don't think my life would be worthwhile from that point forward.

What stops me is not wanting to hurt my girlfriend, my mother, my father, and my grandfather.

Especially my girlfriend. She is the sweetest person ever, she's a wonderful mom to her 2 kids and she doesn't deserve to hurt. But I worry that if I am locked up, she's going to have to move on anyway and that will be just as painful.

I have a note/text written for her and some of my closest family. My method is a 12 guage shotgun with .00 buckshot. I plan on shooting myself through the mouth. I am wondering what death is like, and part of that is also scary.

I probably need to do this either today or tomorrow. I just want my sweet girlfriend to know I love her forever and I want her to be ok.

i am so sorry you are going through this.

there are cases where people have been out on bail, gone to court and gone to a jury trial, and then lost, then consumed poison in the courthouse in order to quickly die before going to prison, but if you did that and won, then you wouldn't take the poison. this is risky as there is some chance of poison being found during a jury trial or while entering into court, but it could probably be done with a 15 percent chance of being caught if done carefully. i am not recommending that since it's illegal, but people have done that before.

you should not discuss your case here if you registered with your real IP address (didn't use a VPN or tor) or if it's linked to a real email. Many cases result in plea deals for much less time than the max time

Is a long time a year? 2 years? 10 years? 20 years? If it's one or two years, sometimes people will just spend their time getting a degree or reading books. They have tablets in there, apparently.

Were you already arrested and are you out on bail? Do you have an attorney? Are you expecting to be arrested?