I tried the CO method on Sunday, thought I'd got everything right, but my memory is shit. Burnt the coals for too long (1 hour 30) instead of 20 minutes and then transferring them into the bbq. I got in the tent after 10 minutes and lay down for an hour but just got a headache and was nowhere close to passing out. I feel mentally prepared for it again today it's almost an out of body experience I'm having (but still self harming oddly) the rain and wind is blowing out the firelighters and coals. I feel frustrated by it to the point I'm agitated and fidgety and I just want everything to stop. I bought 28 diazepam sort off legally and I'm trying to be sparing with them but they aren't really helping. I feel ready. Nobody lives next door and I'm becoming increasingly tempted to use a bbq indoors I just don't want to kill my dog
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