Venting External vs internal

[Life_and_Death]

I can talk about external problems all day long. My job sucks. My relationship is beyond complicated. I'm getting sick of my health issues. And yes these are all major problems in my life. The relationship problem actually a suicide thing because no one can be happy.

But it's the internal. This is where the problem lies. I just can't talk about it. I'm not sure why exactly. I've gotten into an argument with someone because I'm so closed off (breath. There's no need to bring THAT up again. Do not elaborate.) anyway, I can think and think and think and have everything I want to say. I'll go to write it and all I end up with is a cryptic sentence that means nothing to me in the future but everything now. I don't get it. I don't know why I can't talk about. I don't understand how you guys can. Why do I have such a mental block. Of course with the way people treat me even on sites that are suppose to be. "safe" sure as hell doesn't help. I've been called names and gotten into arguments all because they don't understand and I can't explain it. And no I'm not "playing victim" I'm venting and making a point. Playing victim would be if I was looking for sympathy out of mentioning it and honestly I don't give a fuck if anyone responds to this, I'm just venting. I just hate everything..... Idfk. Honestly though, thinking about it, there is one time I can talk about internal things. When someone asks me a question. I will try to dig deeper or reword something. But at the same time I can find questions stressful sometimes. It's like my brain short circuits and all I want to do is scream and cry. There's a specific questions that triggers it actually but I can't remember what it was. My therapist asked me it one day. I can't remember what she said or what I answered but I remember it took a lot for me to not react. Does anyone else have a question like that? I can't remember but I think I don't know the answer to the question, or its one of those questions where I know the answer but it's like I said back at the top where I just can't say it so I have to fake it. Actually yeah it sounds like that one. And the answer "hiding" like that stresses me out. Does anyone else's thoughts "hide" when they want to talk?

 

[blvck]

I feel you bro. Thats why i logged in to talk about and i saw your thread first.

The worst part of it is that, I think I'm not only hiding from other people, I'm hiding from myself. I can't show the real genuine me because I don't know who that is. I'm literally hiding right now under my blanket in my bed. sigh...

I had an addiction that I'm getting over, and I was addicted for nearly a decade, it started when i was 16. But now that I'm not numbing the pain anymore, I'm forced to face all the personality flaws and mental flaws I should have been learning to deal with all along.

I'm now more afraid of people than I've ever been. I don't want to go out anymore. I wish I could go the most remote island on the earth, dig a deep hole, and crawl in it and go to sleep.

At least you have a therapist. Maybe that's what I need. But I'm too afraid to talk to people, too afraid to release whatever it is inside me, and just scared...

 

[botanormal]

It can be really hard to talk about your internal pain. It's coming from within you, so to share that with someone else can feel like you're opening your heart up to them, and it can make you feel really vulnerable. Sometimes we can try to express ourselves but end up being misunderstood or judged critically, which is a fear I've always had about opening up to those I know in my personal life. Having someone know exactly how you're feeling can feel like you're giving them a lot of power to misuse that information, or to hold it against you. I think for some, it's something that takes a bit of time and practice to get used to and feel comfortable with doing.

Make sure to move at your own pace, and only share things you're comfortable with sharing. These forums are for exactly that purpose, they're a place to vent and receive support. Sorry you're having a hard time talking about these things, I hope you're able to feel better about it in the future. There's really no harm in sharing your internal struggles, it can bring you a lot of peace to just let it all out, and only a complete asshole would ever judge you for that. But also don't feel pressured into sharing something you aren't ready to share yet. Wishing you the best!

 

[flyaway2]

It can be really hard to talk about your internal pain. It's coming from within you, so to share that with someone else can feel like you're opening your heart up to them, and it can make you feel really vulnerable. Sometimes we can try to express ourselves but end up being misunderstood or judged critically, which is a fear I've always had about opening up to those I know in my personal life. Having someone know exactly how you're feeling can feel like you're giving them a lot of power to misuse that information, or to hold it against you. I think for some, it's something that takes a bit of time and practice to get used to and feel comfortable with doing.

Make sure to move at your own pace, and only share things you're comfortable with sharing. These forums are for exactly that purpose, they're a place to vent and receive support. Sorry you're having a hard time talking about these things, I hope you're able to feel better about it in the future. There's really no harm in sharing your internal struggles, it can bring you a lot of peace to just let it all out, and only a complete asshole would ever judge you for that. But also don't feel pressured into sharing something you aren't ready to share yet. Wishing you the best!

I think everyone has problems. It's hard to air your problems to your family, friends, etc. In fact it's not advisable. Never even bother. A place like this is best.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I feel you bro. Thats why i logged in to talk about and i saw your thread first.

The worst part of it is that, I think I'm not only hiding from other people, I'm hiding from myself. I can't show the real genuine me because I don't know who that is. I'm literally hiding right now under my blanket in my bed. sigh...

I had an addiction that I'm getting over, and I was addicted for nearly a decade, it started when i was 16. But now that I'm not numbing the pain anymore, I'm forced to face all the personality flaws and mental flaws I should have been learning to deal with all along.

I'm now more afraid of people than I've ever been. I don't want to go out anymore. I wish I could go the most remote island on the earth, dig a deep hole, and crawl in it and go to sleep.

At least you have a therapist. Maybe that's what I need. But I'm too afraid to talk to people, too afraid to release whatever it is inside me, and just scared...

i dont have a therapist anymore. i lost them due to anxiety. so yeah i get the whole remote island thing lol

I think everyone has problems. It's hard to air your problems to your family, friends, etc. In fact it's not advisable. Never even bother. A place like this is best.

actually it "a place like this" (this and one other) where im having the biggest problems. my loved ones know everything. i get thats the way its suppose to be, families suppose to love you and fuck strangers, but youd also think if someone was going to advertise it as a "safe place" it would be

 

[Deleted member 23009]

It can be really hard to talk about your internal pain. It's coming from within you, so to share that with someone else can feel like you're opening your heart up to them, and it can make you feel really vulnerable. Sometimes we can try to express ourselves but end up being misunderstood or judged critically, which is a fear I've always had about opening up to those I know in my personal life. Having someone know exactly how you're feeling can feel like you're giving them a lot of power to misuse that information, or to hold it against you. I think for some, it's something that takes a bit of time and practice to get used to and feel comfortable with doing.

Make sure to move at your own pace, and only share things you're comfortable with sharing. These forums are for exactly that purpose, they're a place to vent and receive support. Sorry you're having a hard time talking about these things, I hope you're able to feel better about it in the future. There's really no harm in sharing your internal struggles, it can bring you a lot of peace to just let it all out, and only a complete asshole would ever judge you for that. But also don't feel pressured into sharing something you aren't ready to share yet. Wishing you the best!

These are some really valid points. It's extremely hard to open up because you're exposing so much of yourself, things that you probably want to bury and never show anyone. These forums are great for anything of course, such as venting, as you just did, or to get a lot of different opinions and thoughts, or people going through similar things.

But to dig deeper and to really go to the root of your feelings and someone to guide you through them I think you need a therapist. How exactly did you lose your therapist? Was it the chemistry between you that made you feel like you couldn't talk about it? Maybe you should try seeing other ones. It's quite hard to find a therapist that really matches you though but it will be worth it. It is supposed to be a safe place where you can talk about anything with someone to guide you through it. And as stated before, go on your own pace, release small things or details one step at a time. There's no rush or pressure on you

I really hope you're able to find a way to remove some of your mental blocks, because they seem to be weighing you down and suffocate you. I hope you find peace in your struggles and that you'll be able to release some of this mental stress in the future. You're not alone

 

[Life_and_Death]

These are some really valid points. It's extremely hard to open up because you're exposing so much of yourself, things that you probably want to bury and never show anyone. These forums are great for anything of course, such as venting, as you just did, or to get a lot of different opinions and thoughts, or people going through similar things.

But to dig deeper and to really go to the root of your feelings and someone to guide you through them I think you need a therapist. How exactly did you lose your therapist? Was it the chemistry between you that made you feel like you couldn't talk about it? Maybe you should try seeing other ones. It's quite hard to find a therapist that really matches you though but it will be worth it. It is supposed to be a safe place where you can talk about anything with someone to guide you through it. And as stated before, go on your own pace, release small things or details one step at a time. There's no rush or pressure on you

I really hope you're able to find a way to remove some of your mental blocks, because they seem to be weighing you down and suffocate you. I hope you find peace in your struggles and that you'll be able to release some of this mental stress in the future. You're not alone

that was the problem. i was switching therapists (not because they were bad or anything, i just ran out of free sessions) and i had too much anxiety and didnt call back in the 1 1/2 days they gave me.

 

[Deleted member 23009]

that was the problem. i was switching therapists (not because they were bad or anything, i just ran out of free sessions) and i had too much anxiety and didnt call back in the 1 1/2 days they gave me.

Don't pressure yourself too much if you don't feel like you're ready for it. But if you feel that you're ready for it and desperately need it but too anxious to do anything about it you have to try and give yourself a little push. I get anxious over a simple phone call and sit for a long time before I make one so I know it's not easy to push yourself. You can still set up something else right? Or maybe explain the situation. Just based on what you said it seems like it could be nice for you to talk to someone about it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Don't pressure yourself too much if you don't feel like you're ready for it. But if you feel that you're ready for it and desperately need it but too anxious to do anything about it you have to try and give yourself a little push. I get anxious over a simple phone call and sit for a long time before I make one so I know it's not easy to push yourself. You can still set up something else right? Or maybe explain the situation. Just based on what you said it seems like it could be nice for you to talk to someone about it.

ive basically given up. i googled different at home therapies and i looked into the more professional ones as well to see if i could do them at home (which i could so i did) and thats when my anxiety got worse. plus i need like a mood stabilizer or something because im really messed up but im too sensitive to take any and end up with the symptoms on the more severe end of things that leave me useless, from 15-20hrs of sleep, insanity or a really bad upset stomach that left me curled up in a ball in pain for hours. getting better literally isnt a me thing.

 

[Deleted member 23009]

ive basically given up. i googled different at home therapies and i looked into the more professional ones as well to see if i could do them at home (which i could so i did) and thats when my anxiety got worse. plus i need like a mood stabilizer or something because im really messed up but im too sensitive to take any and end up with the symptoms on the more severe end of things that leave me useless, from 15-20hrs of sleep, insanity or a really bad upset stomach that left me curled up in a ball in pain for hours. getting better literally isnt a me thing.

How come you're doing them at home? Something limits you from going to see one? Like your anxiety or something else?
I would suggest to not do it at home to try and keep your home of a different kind of "safe place" and seperate it from that. But that's just my experience. I wouldn't recommend seeing a therapist online either since face to face has a much bigger impact imo. But if at home is the only thing you can do then it's better than nothing I think, might work out for you too.

Maybe you can try a small dosage of some light medication?

 

[Life_and_Death]

How come you're doing them at home? Something limits you from going to see one? Like your anxiety or something else?
I would suggest to not do it at home to try and keep your home of a different kind of "safe place" and seperate it from that. But that's just my experience. I wouldn't recommend seeing a therapist online either since face to face has a much bigger impact imo. But if at home is the only thing you can do then it's better than nothing I think, might work out for you too.

Maybe you can try a small dosage of some light medication?

i did it at home because my husband was scared and preferred me to not go (i dont blame him besides its how i got my cats (pet therapy) and they clearly love me to pieces.) i tried online i tried all that stuff. that was literally my last call. i might be able to call the place they were transferring me over to but idk. and i already tried the medication thing. i cut the one that made me sleep in half and still slept for like 12hrs. and i cut the one that made me "insane" in half (to the point where it had to be in liquid form because it just doesnt go that low) and i still went insane

 

[Deleted member 23009]

i did it at home because my husband was scared and preferred me to not go (i dont blame him besides its how i got my cats (pet therapy) and they clearly love me to pieces.) i tried online i tried all that stuff. that was literally my last call. i might be able to call the place they were transferring me over to but idk. and i already tried the medication thing. i cut the one that made me sleep in half and still slept for like 12hrs. and i cut the one that made me "insane" in half (to the point where it had to be in liquid form because it just doesnt go that low) and i still went insane

Cats are amazing
Maybe try to call the place at least and see what they say. There still might be some medication you can try that you haven't thought of too, there are so many different ones. But yeah, it sucks it hasn't worked out for you.. So I hope it does, because that really sound like a horrible experience..

 

[Life_and_Death]

Cats are amazing
Maybe try to call the place at least and see what they say. There still might be some medication you can try that you haven't thought of too, there are so many different ones. But yeah, it sucks it hasn't worked out for you.. So I hope it does, because that really sound like a horrible experience..

i really really doubt the medication thing. ive noticed the sensitivity outside of that type of medication as well. something as basic as pills for lactose intolerance. the package infers it only works for a few hours and i can be fine for a couple days after taking it. like i said in a pervious comment, im really messed and need that medication, its pointless without it. plus i already tried what they are going to get me to do and all that did was cause the anxiety i have now in the first place. i had anxiety before but it was like a functioning anxiety....now i just dont

 

[Deleted member 23009]

Yeah i'm not very experienced in that sensitive way.. It sounds like a real struggle..
You're free to do what you want but giving that place a call might be a good idea, if medication doesn't work they could try to help you through other ways.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yeah i'm not very experienced in that sensitive way.. It sounds like a real struggle..
You're free to do what you want but giving that place a call might be a good idea, if medication doesn't work they could try to help you through other ways.

ive spent years doing extensive research on myself (reading case studies not unreliable sites, actually studies straight from the people doing it) and ways to fix it........it seriously isnt like i havent tried. i cant really speak for anyone else but i will say that it seems ive tried harder then most considering how you see people complaining about the MHS but never talking about how theyve actually tried to help themselves

 

[Deleted member 23009]

ive spent years doing extensive research on myself (reading case studies not unreliable sites, actually studies straight from the people doing it) and ways to fix it........it seriously isnt like i havent tried. i cant really speak for anyone else but i will say that it seems ive tried harder then most considering how you see people complaining about the MHS but never talking about how theyve actually tried to help themselves

Yeah i didn't mean it to come off as you haven't tried, if you took it that way! I'm sure you've tried a lot of things, i just wish you find a way to feel better..

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yeah i didn't mean it to come off as you haven't tried, if you took it that way! I'm sure you've tried a lot of things, i just wish you find a way to feel better..

oh i know, it wasnt so much that it came off as i didnt try i just didnt think you realized how much and how long i have been trying