I'm new here.
I have a condition called Servell Martorel Syndrome that I was born with and have had significant physical pain my entire life with more than 30 surgeries- normally my condition isn't fatal but due to unique complications mine is guaranteed to be and will be dramatic and painful if allowed to continue on it's own. I've already outlived the expectations but it is untreatable and incurable and degenerative- so I am literally waiting around for a painful ending... i'm not depressed and don't actually want to die but I've accepted it. So if I must, I definitely don't want it to be painful.
The last few Months ive been researching my options. I don't qualify for PAD here in the US since my condition doesnt have a set time frame (less than a dozen people in the world have my condition and the complications of my condition make it all that more rare. So they can guess timestamps but to qualify for PAD I have to have 6 months or less. - Anyway, the only way around this is VSED but i'd have to somehow be approved in the 10-14 days before VSED rook effect and then travel to vermont- spnd $ to rent a place thede- go to 2 doctor apps 15 days apart, etc to get the meds.
Makes more financjal sense (as well as timing, etc) to go to MX and buy N and either bring it back to the US or do it there in a hotel. - IF I can even find N once there. I' have to sell my vehicle and everything I own to afford that trip so I cant risk not finding it and coming back empty handed.
My other option seems to be Nitrogen with an exit bag. Tho I hate the idea of a bag over my head. I'd really prefer just to fall asleep in my own bed and not wake up. Plus it seems obtaining nitrogen and the regulator mechanism for the tank might be super complicated- but I am looking into it. I did find that Max Brewing company info that sold the kits but seems to have been shut down. So i'd have to piece everything together over a couple weeks to have what I needed- and probably still have to sell my vehicle to afford it- just seems like such a long and complicated and expensive process.
Am I allowed to ask for advice here? Websites that sell the tanks and supplies? Places that sell the regulators for less than $300? - do the tanks come full or do I have to also find somewhere to fill them? I heard the argon regulators and harbor freight would work but read somwhere else they won't.
Or, without needing a dark web account (I don't have a computer, just my cell phone) or a bitcoin account, is it possible to even order N online? I have looked and looked and it seems traveling abroad is the only option.
Lastly, it want to somehow get around people looking up my death certificate. A couple people know and are understanding of my choice but for the most part i'd rather no one know I did it to myself - rather that my condition just took me out... I realize it shouldn't matter but there are certain people in my family who would really be broken by that knowledge. I feel that going to Mexico could prevent anyone from finding out how- or maybe even getting a hotel in another state. I think people need a name and location to look it up... what are the ways around this- anyone know?
Thanks for any advice you have.
I have a condition called Servell Martorel Syndrome that I was born with and have had significant physical pain my entire life with more than 30 surgeries- normally my condition isn't fatal but due to unique complications mine is guaranteed to be and will be dramatic and painful if allowed to continue on it's own. I've already outlived the expectations but it is untreatable and incurable and degenerative- so I am literally waiting around for a painful ending... i'm not depressed and don't actually want to die but I've accepted it. So if I must, I definitely don't want it to be painful.
The last few Months ive been researching my options. I don't qualify for PAD here in the US since my condition doesnt have a set time frame (less than a dozen people in the world have my condition and the complications of my condition make it all that more rare. So they can guess timestamps but to qualify for PAD I have to have 6 months or less. - Anyway, the only way around this is VSED but i'd have to somehow be approved in the 10-14 days before VSED rook effect and then travel to vermont- spnd $ to rent a place thede- go to 2 doctor apps 15 days apart, etc to get the meds.
Makes more financjal sense (as well as timing, etc) to go to MX and buy N and either bring it back to the US or do it there in a hotel. - IF I can even find N once there. I' have to sell my vehicle and everything I own to afford that trip so I cant risk not finding it and coming back empty handed.
My other option seems to be Nitrogen with an exit bag. Tho I hate the idea of a bag over my head. I'd really prefer just to fall asleep in my own bed and not wake up. Plus it seems obtaining nitrogen and the regulator mechanism for the tank might be super complicated- but I am looking into it. I did find that Max Brewing company info that sold the kits but seems to have been shut down. So i'd have to piece everything together over a couple weeks to have what I needed- and probably still have to sell my vehicle to afford it- just seems like such a long and complicated and expensive process.
Am I allowed to ask for advice here? Websites that sell the tanks and supplies? Places that sell the regulators for less than $300? - do the tanks come full or do I have to also find somewhere to fill them? I heard the argon regulators and harbor freight would work but read somwhere else they won't.
Or, without needing a dark web account (I don't have a computer, just my cell phone) or a bitcoin account, is it possible to even order N online? I have looked and looked and it seems traveling abroad is the only option.
Lastly, it want to somehow get around people looking up my death certificate. A couple people know and are understanding of my choice but for the most part i'd rather no one know I did it to myself - rather that my condition just took me out... I realize it shouldn't matter but there are certain people in my family who would really be broken by that knowledge. I feel that going to Mexico could prevent anyone from finding out how- or maybe even getting a hotel in another state. I think people need a name and location to look it up... what are the ways around this- anyone know?
Thanks for any advice you have.
