Yeahh I'm in the same boat kinda. In 2018, I bought all the supplies needed for an exit bag and had everything set up but couldn't beat my SI. I had read about prescription meds that help with anxiety and wanted to give that a go but when I made an appointment to be seen and arrived they suggested me to be put in that damn hold

3 days later I was free n had anti depressants but I don't think they helped. But I did try again with exit bag just couldn't get past my fears of things going wrong. I remember being so surprised by how loud the air tank was it completely caught me off guard and heightened my fears of thinking I didn't hook things up properly so I wanted to try for actual anxiety meds. So I went to be seen again. N they tried to put me in a hold again but I managed to talk my way outta that at the expense of telling someone about my cbt plans (my mom) n she found and discarded my whole rig. I was soooooo pissed. But parts of me wants to try exit bag again especially because I have benzo now. I also have sn but I'm terrified my body will fight through the poison n I'll just suffer through another traumatic experience lol. I also tried with charcoal grill but that was a total fail. Parts of me doesn't understand why though. Cause I sealed the br I was in and stayed in there for over 6hrs n still woke up

so I dunno I'm currently on the sn train but meh. Whatever's quickest n will forreal get me outta here! N then I think shotgun but ugh I imagine SI would be just as much if not more aggressive. Hope peace finds you.