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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
33,379
This is the reality, that existing here truly is such a terrible thing, it's something completely hopeless and will only ever lead to more suffering, existing beings are doomed to suffer and the idea of any hope in this world is just a delusion to inevitably lead to more torment.

Existence is just a painful curse, it's a cruel burden that was so unfairly and selfishly forced on us, where all that is inevitable for us is even more suffering, loss and decay all while being aware of how truly futile everything is. Existing is just a hopeless process of slowly dying until we are eventually free or manage to free ourselves, the existence of life truly is a horrific tragedy and existing here can and only will get worse as time goes on.

It's really so terrifying how in existence there is endless potential for suffering and torment, there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this harmful and chaotic world which is a reason as to why existence repulses me, existence is objectivley so hellish, I dread to think of what lies ahead.
The reality is that existence is nothing more than an unnecessary harm, and the only relief lies in death, to not exist means to be free. For me simply just being conscious and aware makes the thought of not existing sound so incredibly appealing, I believe that no matter what it's always preferable to not exist.
 
SpiderLink

SpiderLink

they/them
Apr 3, 2023
353
I
This is the reality, that existing here truly is such a terrible thing, it's something completely hopeless and will only ever lead to more suffering, existing beings are doomed to suffer and the idea of any hope in this world is just a delusion to inevitably lead to more torment.

Existence is just a painful curse, it's a cruel burden that was so unfairly and selfishly forced on us, where all that is inevitable for us is even more suffering, loss and decay all while being aware of how truly futile everything is. Existing is just a hopeless process of slowly dying until we are eventually free or manage to free ourselves, the existence of life truly is a horrific tragedy and existing here can and only will get worse as time goes on.

It's really so terrifying how in existence there is endless potential for suffering and torment, there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this harmful and chaotic world which is a reason as to why existence repulses me, existence is objectivley so hellish, I dread to think of what lies ahead.
The reality is that existence is nothing more than an unnecessary harm, and the only relief lies in death, to not exist means to be free. For me simply just being conscious and aware makes the thought of not existing sound so incredibly appealing, I believe that no matter what it's always preferable to not exist.
Im curious, what got you into this state of thinking? Or have you felt like this at a very young age?
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
33,379
I

Im curious, what got you into this state of thinking? Or have you felt like this at a very young age?
In my case I just have awareness that existence is nothing more than a futile and unnecessary harm that never needed to exist, I could never be delusional enough to want to exist here in this harmful world. And there is just the fact that existence isn't for me, ageing and suffering isn't for me, the reality is that existence is just slavery, we are slaves to our needs and our decaying flesh prison and as humans we are going round in circles, trapped in this pointless existence until we die anyway, the way that I think is just reality.

Existing is incredibly worthless and leads to nothing apart from being tormented by old age, so to me it makes sense to not wish to delay the inevitable. And just in general existing doesn't appeal to me, I've never wanted to exist here, I don't see existence as being a desirable state, even if there was no extreme suffering all that would remain is emptiness and dissatisfaction. I'm just still here as of course if one doesn't find a way to leave in this horrible anti-suicide society they basically have no choice but to continue.
 
Jezzibell

Jezzibell

On my way out. Yayyyyy
Apr 21, 2023
709
I respect you through your considered replies to people and support for everyone. I cant help but be curious and please please don't take offence. That's not my intention at all. I'm just genuinely interested.

I see how you feel with every word you write but there are ways out aside from sn. Its clear that just being alive pains you. So why continue? I'm pleased you are still with us. Are there other constraints that tie you to your existence.

Of course you don't have to answer xxxxxx
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
33,379
I respect you through your considered replies to people and support for everyone. I cant help but be curious and please please don't take offence. That's not my intention at all. I'm just genuinely interested.

I see how you feel with every word you write but there are ways out aside from sn. Its clear that just being alive pains you. So why continue? I'm pleased you are still with us. Are there other constraints that tie you to your existence.

Of course you don't have to answer xxxxxx
It's because we exist in this world where there are so many risks and complications in trying to die, there is loads of evidence for this on this site as there is lots of posts about people struggling to plan/go through with ctb. There isn't any easily accessible, peaceful, reliable and straightforward method as if there was I would had left at a very young age, and there is also the high possibility of ending up in a worse situation from trying to attempt a method like hanging, I would be terrified of it failing so that's what holds me back. So it's just not straightforward to leave and it could never be as easy as just choosing to be gone.
 
DeathSleep

DeathSleep

Bang... Silence
May 25, 2023
153
It's because we exist in this world where there are so many risks and complications in trying to die

I agree... Failure of most methods could really mess you up and make life much worse. Then other methods may be almost a sure thing but you'll live for possibly weeks in agony until finally passing.
Sigh.
Dying is tricky.
 
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Jezzibell

Jezzibell

On my way out. Yayyyyy
Apr 21, 2023
709
Thank you for answering me. I'm trying to figure out what is holding me up. I'm alone but I think you've clarified my main reason which is fear of failure. I too can't think of hanging. I am too weak to get it all set up. I feel your pain in every post and I really am sorry that you have to deal with this every minute of every day.
 
SilentSadness

SilentSadness

Suffering without a purpose
Feb 28, 2023
894
I have to say that the most hopeless part about life is how we're denied a peaceful and reliable exit. If there was a realistic way out it wouldn't be bad at all. But the fact that we're trapped here is what turned this abandoned tunnel into a prison. It reduces anything good about this world into nothingness, because there is no way to escape pain and suffering. Even the people who want to die most badly are harshly denied. It's a tragedy that we have to live in this black and white reality, because of nothing more than cruelty from the people in it.
 
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SpiderLink

SpiderLink

they/them
Apr 3, 2023
353
In my case I just have awareness that existence is nothing more than a futile and unnecessary harm that never needed to exist, I could never be delusional enough to want to exist here in this harmful world. And there is just the fact that existence isn't for me, ageing and suffering isn't for me, the reality is that existence is just slavery, we are slaves to our needs and our decaying flesh prison and as humans we are going round in circles, trapped in this pointless existence until we die anyway, the way that I think is just reality.

Existing is incredibly worthless and leads to nothing apart from being tormented by old age, so to me it makes sense to not wish to delay the inevitable. And just in general existing doesn't appeal to me, I've never wanted to exist here, I don't see existence as being a desirable state, even if there was no extreme suffering all that would remain is emptiness and dissatisfaction. I'm just still here as of course if one doesn't find a way to leave in this horrible anti-suicide society they basically have no choice but to continue.
I get you, I'm just curious what got you to think like this? Nothing bad or anything. Did something happen?