Help Excuses for buying rope?

[willitpass]

My roommate is very aware of my history of suicide attempts and depression, as well as being aware of my disdain for online shopping. I never order things online, so I'm worried if she saw a package arrive for me it would look suspicious, especially since I've been acting distant and off lately. This may just be me overreacting, but if she were to be concerned and open my package, what would be a good excuse for ordering rope? It will most likely be climbing rope, but I have never once gone climbing or expressed interest in climbing before.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

BDSM

 

[willitpass]

BDSM

That had not even crossed my mind but that may be a very very good idea

 

[dggtscccvfd]

They shouldn't be opening your mail, full stop.

 

[willitpass]

They shouldn't be opening your mail, full stop.

I agree. But my roommate is also really nosy and not always the best at respecting privacy. We've known each other for a very long time so our boundaries are defined.

 

[Richdog]

As far as I'm aware, rope isn't a controlled substance? Why do you need an excuse?

 

[Aisley]

I came in to say bondage, but fuzzyClown beat me to it! So, bug-out bag. Everyone should have one.

 

[willitpass]

As far as I'm aware, rope isn't a controlled substance? Why do you need an excuse?

It's not a controlled substance, but someone with a history of suicide attempts, including an attempt at hanging, with no real reason for having a rope, suddenly buying a rope would come off as rather suspicious. Combined with how I constantly talk about how much I hate ordering things online and have been acting distant lately I'm paranoid would be enough for her to decide to open it out of curiousity. I'm most likely overreacting though, and will probably use the BDSM excuse.

 

[Richdog]

It's not a controlled substance, but someone with a history of suicide attempts, including an attempt at hanging, with no real reason for having a rope, suddenly buying a rope would come off as rather suspicious. Combined with how I constantly talk about how much I hate ordering things online and have been acting distant lately I'm paranoid would be enough for her to decide to open it out of curiousity. I'm most likely overreacting though, and will probably use the BDSM excuse.

I still don't understand.
Why would somebody at the local B&Q know about your medical history?

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I agree. But my roommate is also really nosy and not always the best at respecting privacy. We've known each other for a very long time so our boundaries are defined.

Tell her you want to practice knot tieing?

 

[willitpass]

I still don't understand.
Why would somebody at the local B&Q know about your medical history?

We'd been friends for several years before deciding to get an apartment together, so she's been there through it all. I didn't just meet her off a website

 

[TheNihilisticViking]

Couldn't you do click and collect to a local shop or something? That's what I would personally do.

 

[Raven2]

Cant you just go to the shop to buy one? That way shes not suspicious with you ordering online.

 

[willitpass]

Cant you just go to the shop to buy one? That way shes not suspicious with you ordering online.

I've looked but all of the ropes that have a high enough weight limit are significantly more expensive than online. I theoretically could afford them but I'm also a bit of a penny pincher, especially if I'm going to be dying I want to leave behind as much money as possible for my family to be able to afford all of the expenses associated with death.

 

[Opisen]

It's a gift for a friend who climbs, maybe?

 

[I_want_to_sleep]

Often rope can be used in DIY type projects for decorative items around the house. Google is certainly worth consulting, I'm sure there are endless uses of rope out there.The excuse you have for the rope will have to differ based on the one you buy to keep your story as believable as possible.

Even if you come up with a good excuse, your roommate knowing about it won't do you any favors as they'll know you are in possession of rope, something that can be used to hang yourself. However this would depend on how suicidal your friend thinks you are and how switched on they are.

 

[captive]

i don't know... any kind of excuse here won't divert suspicion, the best thing you can do is to buy rope without getting any unwanted attention in the first place.

 

[inmyhead]

BDSM. And actually you can buy some BDSM rope it's much softer on the skin.

 

[Spook97]

Perhaps you could order something else to accompany it? Ordering a rope on its own can be excruciatingly difficult to reason over, but if you bought something like—say, a drill and a board alongside it, you could place the deception of it being for a wooden swing.

Have you had any recent family-entrances? Young cousins? You could tell your roommate that you plan on surprising them.

 

[Slasher]

I'm a big nature person so I just said that I needed it for a camping trip and that the rope just arrived earlier than the rest of my stuff. that hanging didn't go well looking at how I'm still here but the excuse worked lol

 

[willitpass]

Thank you for all of the advice. I've ordered the rope now and shouldn't have any issues.