Ex found N

[lanahelp]

I don't know if I am suffering from mental illness due of ptsd from Lyme and autoimmune encephalopathy or the infection itself. I returned to FL tonight. My ex found the 2 bottles of N from D I had hidden. I was going to pursue one more treatment snd knew I had an "out" if it didn't work. So I need another plan. Stat. I don't have any more money for N. I have many psych meds which never worked for me. I wish I knew of a combo that was full proof. I can do SN again but I heard it is harder now to procure.
I can't believe any of this is real. I've fully lost any sense of self or place. This is Lyme but now unbearable. I would never engage in a method that could possibly hurt or traumatize others in that moment. Please. I know we can't recommend methods so I guess I'll search the forum. Venting in complete terror and begging for mercy.

 

[AliceTheGoon]

My ex found the 2 bottles of N from D I had hidden.

And did what with them?

 

[lanahelp]

And did what with them?

Threw them away, along with other unknown cosmetics (latter all legit) while I was away for the summer working to heal. Someone I told got in touch and said I had something here so all was searched and some unknown discarded. I want to live yet I cannot live in this pain after a 6-year battle. That was my way out and to peace.

 

[StarlightDreamer]

My god, that's horrible. I'm so sorry.

 

[Hollowillow]

I don't know if I am suffering from mental illness due of ptsd from Lyme and autoimmune encephalopathy or the infection itself. I returned to FL tonight. My ex found the 2 bottles of N from D I had hidden. I was going to pursue one more treatment snd knew I had an "out" if it didn't work. So I need another plan. Stat. I don't have any more money for N. I have many psych meds which never worked for me. I wish I knew of a combo that was full proof. I can do SN again but I heard it is harder now to procure.
I can't believe any of this is real. I've fully lost any sense of self or place. This is Lyme but now unbearable. I would never engage in a method that could possibly hurt or traumatize others in that moment. Please. I know we can't recommend methods so I guess I'll search the forum. Venting in complete terror and begging for mercy.

Lame ex to steal your N! And let you agonize. I'm into partial hanging... Use a credit card for N? I wish we had funding services here... How much was it? Maybe he kept it, tell him you're in worse pain than death and ask it back? But then he'd be accused of murder... Damnit! I don't even know how to hang but Robin Williams did it... Natural ways are better than drugs but I don't know about lime. I just take as much vitamin c as I can hold when sick and I can feel better... But... No sure way to die...

Dump that bastard 100%. Hope you can get more N

Threw them away, along with other unknown cosmetics (latter all legit) while I was away for the summer working to heal. Someone I told got in touch and said I had something here so all was searched and some unknown discarded. I want to live yet I cannot live in this pain after a 6-year battle. That was my way out and to peace.

He got in your home while you were out? Wtf change the keys!

 

[FuneralCry]

That is really awful. People deserve to have the option of a peaceful exit, it's cruel to just expect them to suffer against their wishes. I'm sorry that you are trapped in this horrible situation. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through.

 

[thebunny]

what a horrible thing your ex would do. i'm sorry to hear that happened to you. though your ex might think they meant well, no one deserves to go through that—being forced to stay in a life full of suffering. i do hope you're able to find another method to exit peacefully. wishing you all the best and sending you lots of hugs

 

[lanahelp]

Lame ex to steal your N! And let you agonize. I'm into partial hanging... Use a credit card for N? I wish we had funding services here... How much was it? Maybe he kept it, tell him you're in worse pain than death and ask it back? But then he'd be accused of murder... Damnit! I don't even know how to hang but Robin Williams did it... Natural ways are better than drugs but I don't know about lime. I just take as much vitamin c as I can hold when sick and I can feel better... But... No sure way to die...

Dump that bastard 100%. Hope you can get more N

He got in your home while you were out? Wtf change the keys!

No. I wasn't here. It isn't my home. I was staying here, away for the summer to get treatment and live with family. Ex just wants me to live. I heard d isn't doing n anymore and/or was a crapshoot regarding receipt out of customs.

I screamed for help for years. Now I only want peace.

 

[chronicphysicalpain]

Sorry to hear you're in such a bad state.

All I can do is indeed confirm that, as you say, D does not provide anymore, at least not for a presumably long time. In my case I am probably going for SN given my N was seized at customs during one of his last deliveries.

I have no idea how horrible a 6 year battle with such an enemy as Lyme's is like. Hugs and I wish you luck...

 

[lanahelp]

Sorry to hear you're in such a bad state.

All I can do is indeed confirm that, as you say, D does not provide anymore, at least not for a presumably long time. In my case I am probably going for SN given my N was seized at customs during one of his last deliveries.

I have no idea how horrible a 6 year battle with such an enemy as Lyme's is like. Hugs and I wish you luck...

Thank you for the confirmation. I truly appreciate your sentiments as well. Wishing you the same. (Not Lyme). Hugs and luck.

 

[eternapeace]

I don't know if I am suffering from mental illness due of ptsd from Lyme and autoimmune encephalopathy or the infection itself. I returned to FL tonight. My ex found the 2 bottles of N from D I had hidden. I was going to pursue one more treatment snd knew I had an "out" if it didn't work. So I need another plan. Stat. I don't have any more money for N. I have many psych meds which never worked for me. I wish I knew of a combo that was full proof. I can do SN again but I heard it is harder now to procure.
I can't believe any of this is real. I've fully lost any sense of self or place. This is Lyme but now unbearable. I would never engage in a method that could possibly hurt or traumatize others in that moment. Please. I know we can't recommend methods so I guess I'll search the forum. Venting in complete terror and begging for mercy.

Please check the most recent pages in SN megathread. There's information on where to order SN. I ordered SN yesterday myself.

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

I am sorry to hear you are suffering and that your "way out" was taken from you. That really makes me mad for you. This may help, I was able to order SN and received it last week online very easily. Had to be home to sign for it, so I missed it the first delivery attempt, but was sure to be home for the second attempt and got it :) It's not that expensive either. Hope that helps you and that you find peace soon.

 

[Finding Sirius]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. The worst part is your ex and the one who tipped him off think that they did "the right thing". They took your painless escape away, while they're not the ones who have to suffer like you do. It makes my blood boil. People really think they have rights over others lives.