Ex boyfriend

[Lily (Osako)]

So my ex boyfriend reached out today. He's one of the reasons I'm choosing to leave this life.
He hurt me so bad. Now he's being kind.
I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again, but today set me back so far, right back to the night we broke up.
I want N so bad. I wish I could leave right now.

 

[catflowers]

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

 

[Hollowillow]

I feel for you... I had abusive exes... I think they're the ones who deserve to die for their abuse. Not the kind person who got hurt.

I want out because the world is full of them though. Was never loved...

Abusive people try to hook us back with fake kindness & apoligies like a worm on a hook. Best to try another fish in the sea, or i do self love... But now i hate myself too.

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

Be careful what you wish for. If you think being humiliated & beaten by a narc is better than freedom... You'd get trapped in hell if you had a lover...

I feel for your loneliness though. I too feel that way. It was hard to flee codependency

 

[Lily (Osako)]

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

If you knew what I went through, you wouldn't say that.

 

[thebunny]

i'm sorry that you're going through such thing. i've had my fair share of toxic exes. hell, i was even one (not rly proud of it). i'm sorry your feelings are relapsing. you can always go for no contact—block him and everything. it'll be hard, but it's a step towards feeling better and free from him. i wish you all the best.

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

i think it's a bit insensitive to say this since it seems that their relationship went awry. i'm sorry that there aren't many people in your life that are willing to be there for you right now, but i do hope that at least someone will to make you feel less alone in this world.

 

[Life_and_Death]

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

as someone thats literally been crying to leave but manipulated into staying, this is really insensitive. abusive, hurtful people should NEVER be "at least you have..". id rather be alone, at least that doesnt cause irreversible damage

 

[Rounded Agony]

Oh no, it's such a weird thing when that happens. Sorry for the unpleasantness. Don't feel obliged to answer but, was it just the breakup that was bad, or the relationship? You're surprised by the sudden niceness but it is a classic manipulation tactic, if that was the paradigm. Is it N that you're waiting on? I know you're starting to get things in order, iirc.

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

Yah sorry to gang up on you but that is some pretty inappropriate shit to dump here. I know this because before I ever had a partner I felt this way, but you're just idealizing the very idea. My first relationship was abusive and I would rather have been alone for those two years. Not blaming you for being lonely, but check yourself before you wreck yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand desperately wanting N, it does sound like the ideal way to leave this world. Some people really are so cruel and to me it's terrible the way that many people treat others. I'm sorry that you suffer so much. Best wishes.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Ugh! Isn't it wonderful when someone returns to rip off the scab that was already having trouble healing? That really pushes me to escalate my thoughts to physical violence. Just leave me the f*** alone! The damage is already done! I can do bad by myself.

 

[fastFWD]

Sry you had that snake in your life. In my experience if they did you wrong once they'll do it again. it's like the German poet Rilke said, "A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them. They're who they've been throughout your whole relationship."

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

Block him. Don't let him hurt you further.

 

[hamvil]

I can relate in a way. The greatest loved of my life turned up to be a manipulative bitch that used me until she had something to gain and left me when I failed at my job. She came back a few times to ask for various things and I even said yes hoping that maybe she would get closer. One day she even reached me to tell me that she is getting married and that she is very happy. I tried to keep a sort of friendship with her because I needed to have access to a little bit of her time and attention. At the end I cut all ties after the last fight and want nothing more from her. I do not think I will ever find another woman like her or a woman in general.

 

[Life_and_Death]

"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them. They're who they've been throughout your whole relationship."

i need this too...although i think hes given me enough of a hint at this point. the way he falls back its like im a football player running into a brick wall without a helmet on. hes finally shown improvement but his bs still shines through

 

[Helmetrash]

You dont need him , you can find someone better!!

 

[hamvil]

So my ex boyfriend reached out today. He's one of the reasons I'm choosing to leave this life.
He hurt me so bad. Now he's being kind.
I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again, but today set me back so far, right back to the night we broke up.
I want N so bad. I wish I could leave right now.

I should tell you not to die because of a person that does not love you anymore, but I would be an hypocrite. I feel the same, I have been used by this person, kicked away. Begged to have a little of her time. I have no idea why we fall in love with people that abuse us and become so dependant on them.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

My last relationship pretty much fucked up my life… I was trying to save somebody over the course of three years and ended up wasting a huge amount of money and energy on somebody who ultimately betrayed me… Love is very dangerous

 

[Ashu]

You'd get trapped in hell if you had a lover...

Or... you might be happy. My girlfriends were other crazies, and our loves were the great consolation of my life.

 

[hamvil]

My last relationship pretty much fucked up my life… I was trying to save somebody over the course of three years and ended up wasting a huge amount of money and energy on somebody who ultimately betrayed me… Love is very dangerous

I was not trying to save somebody but I did all I could to support her in her career. Then eventually I fucked up my job and when I lost my position she also left saying that she wanted to go back with a former bf. She said "I love you" many times but I wonder if she ever meant it. I still miss her so much.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I was not trying to save somebody but I did all I could to support her in her career. Then eventually I fucked up my job and when I lost my position she also left saying that she wanted to go back with a former bf. She said "I love you" many times but I wonder if she ever meant it. I still miss her so much.

That will mess you up for sure…

 

[hamvil]

That will mess you up for sure…

It did. That and losing by job pushed me to the point of not caring anymore. I lost the energies to start over again and in general I do not feel like I am lovable anymore or interesting for another woman. I feel I am done.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It did. That and losing by job pushed me to the point of not caring anymore. I lost the energies to start over again and in general I do not feel like I am lovable anymore or interesting for another woman. I feel I am done.yup

Yup… feel the same…

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I should tell you not to die because of a person that does not love you anymore, but I would be an hypocrite. I feel the same, I have been used by this person, kicked away. Begged to have a little of her time. I have no idea why we fall in love with people that abuse us and become so dependant on them.

He's not the only reason. He was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
I'm so sorry someone made you feel that way and treated you so terribly.
People have the power to break others. Some don't realize it, but others know perfectly well, do it purposely, and actually enjoy it.
I'll never understand it.

Ugh! Isn't it wonderful when someone returns to rip off the scab that was already having trouble healing? That really pushes me to escalate my thoughts to physical violence. Just leave me the f*** alone! The damage is already done! I can do bad by myself.

Exactly

 

[hamvil]

He's not the only reason. He was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
I'm so sorry someone made you feel that way and treated you so terribly.
People have the power to break others. Some don't realize it, but others know perfectly well, do it purposely, and actually enjoy it.
I'll never understand it.

Exactly

I will never know if she did it on purpose or not. Sometimes when I list all she has done I think she did some of it on purpose. But yes I have to admit that she broke me. Even after breaking with me and going back with the bf she kept me for some sex and asked me some work related favours that I could still do to her. I accepted all of it. After I was happy just with the chat. She kept removing and removing things from our friendship until there was nothing left. She told me that she would chat but only if I do not mention negative emotions. I finally managed to cut all ties. But I still suffer a lot.

 

[rationaltake]

at least you had a boyfriend i fucking hate being alone

I think a friend could be better. But just as difficult to find. It sucks being alone when you don't want to be.

 

[Rational man]

You have the right to shut him out of your life so whats stopping you.?. You've clearly identified the problem so why revisit the same cycle of pain?.