Bad-luck
"Tradition is the corpse of wisdom"
- Oct 31, 2023
- 157
everytime, i start shaking and my heart starts to beat fast. I can't even move my hands. Any advice?
divinemistress36
Illuminated
- Jan 1, 2024
- 3,292
Are these reactions just from thinking about it or are you preparing to attempt or is it something else entirely?
Bad-luck
"Tradition is the corpse of wisdom"
- Oct 31, 2023
- 157
It makes sense to be afraid even if you want to do it. I don't have any advice unfortunately, but I did find this previous thread that you might find interesting:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/overcoming-si.155083/
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/overcoming-si.155083/
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I know what you mean. I know for a fact my life will only continue to get more painful and I will never be happy again, but the idea of dying itself still creeps me out a little. I'm going to try to get blackout drunk before I do it. Which sucks because it will take a while to get money for that. I'd still like to go really soon. I have memories I really cannot live with
Iris Blue
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
- Oct 23, 2023
- 226
I think that is completely normal. A lot of the time the thought of wanting to ctb is a naturally scary thing to think about or plan to do. It can be for many different reasons for many different people. I think one of the higher up reasons why is the unknown. I find it confusing especially because there are many times where I do and plan to ctb because of my fear of the unknown, if I were to stay. But I also can't help but feel resistance and uncontrollable fear of also not knowing what there is or if there is anything after ctb. That's just my sort of input on it and what I've been struggling with right now, you could be feeling something completely different and that's totally ok too. I just think no matter what it is normal one way or another to just not know what or how to feel about it and it varies for everyone. Sorry if that's not the advice you were looking for. 
