terrrrrrragon
New Member
- Nov 29, 2025
- 1
It always hurts so much knowing that just several years ago, I still had hope. That even though I was alone, depressed, and living with an abusive witch of a sister, I still had my life and everything ahead of me.
That was until I started losing job after job, piling up debt, all of that wonderful time all while still having no friends to speak of.
I realized that I'm well and truly fucked when I was fired from yet another 12 hour shift job due to a mental breakdown, and after doing some very loose calculations, the calculator said "you're never ever saving enough for college and you're gonna need to slave away until 35 at the minimum"
At that point all menial jobs just seemed like it was meant to leave you as fatigued and depressed as possible, and that's when a highly illegal in hindsight advertisement showed up in one of my Google searches : "Make up to 1000 dollars a day! No sex work!"
The picture had already told me that this is going to be extremely sleazy regardless of what they said, but I just had no choice. I had no family to rely on, no friends, I wasn't entitled to any kind of government payouts ( I was in hindsight, but I had no idea that being autistic counts as a disability.)
What followed destroyed what semblance of joy I could possibly feel.
I immediately realized that almost every girl in that place "puts out", and that if I wanted to make more than pennies, I had no choice but do that as well.
Sharing this is the hardest part, because I'm well aware how many people would immediately call me the most awful names for agreeing for such an ordeal. Despite the fact that I had to disassociate every single time. That several of them have outright assaulted or sodomized me until I bled. I was a product, not a person.
So many of these men likely had the means to lighten my burden, but no one was ever generous or even made an attempt to get me out of something I was clearly suffering each day that I do. But no. Many asked for "discounts". They saw me, a living being, like a toy they can haggle for. And the worst part is, due to the fact that several days I got absolutely no money, I had to even accept several times.
Why am I the one that has to feel like a used up wench now? Why do I have to choke on my own tears and feel like I'm forever filthy? Why do the people that have done things to me by force now walking free with no care in the world?
Even now, I'm sure there are probably people reading this and they're disgusted. I am scared that if I open up about this to a new friend or partner, they wouldn't want to associate with me. It's like I was assaulted over and over, but since I technically "consented" then I have no right to be upset.
I'm almost scared to post this. Is this going to haunt me here too? Will I be now known by some other derogatory term?
That was until I started losing job after job, piling up debt, all of that wonderful time all while still having no friends to speak of.
I realized that I'm well and truly fucked when I was fired from yet another 12 hour shift job due to a mental breakdown, and after doing some very loose calculations, the calculator said "you're never ever saving enough for college and you're gonna need to slave away until 35 at the minimum"
At that point all menial jobs just seemed like it was meant to leave you as fatigued and depressed as possible, and that's when a highly illegal in hindsight advertisement showed up in one of my Google searches : "Make up to 1000 dollars a day! No sex work!"
The picture had already told me that this is going to be extremely sleazy regardless of what they said, but I just had no choice. I had no family to rely on, no friends, I wasn't entitled to any kind of government payouts ( I was in hindsight, but I had no idea that being autistic counts as a disability.)
What followed destroyed what semblance of joy I could possibly feel.
I immediately realized that almost every girl in that place "puts out", and that if I wanted to make more than pennies, I had no choice but do that as well.
Sharing this is the hardest part, because I'm well aware how many people would immediately call me the most awful names for agreeing for such an ordeal. Despite the fact that I had to disassociate every single time. That several of them have outright assaulted or sodomized me until I bled. I was a product, not a person.
So many of these men likely had the means to lighten my burden, but no one was ever generous or even made an attempt to get me out of something I was clearly suffering each day that I do. But no. Many asked for "discounts". They saw me, a living being, like a toy they can haggle for. And the worst part is, due to the fact that several days I got absolutely no money, I had to even accept several times.
Why am I the one that has to feel like a used up wench now? Why do I have to choke on my own tears and feel like I'm forever filthy? Why do the people that have done things to me by force now walking free with no care in the world?
Even now, I'm sure there are probably people reading this and they're disgusted. I am scared that if I open up about this to a new friend or partner, they wouldn't want to associate with me. It's like I was assaulted over and over, but since I technically "consented" then I have no right to be upset.
I'm almost scared to post this. Is this going to haunt me here too? Will I be now known by some other derogatory term?
