Venting everything hurts

[gothfairy]

i am falling in love with someone and he is an addict just like me but he is actually actively using drugs and every time i go to hangout with him he gets drunk or high and dangerously mixes substances and i always have to take care of him. it's so exhausting because he is the only reason i haven't ctb yet because i was planning to do it in this exact moment but i'm holding off because i want to be with him and i havent felt real joy and hope in so long except for being with him. but he is moving back to his house far away in a week and a half and he wont be back for months.
the main point is im starting to feel hopeless again and i dont know what to do. i dont know how to feel better im completely out of options. everything hurts so bad.

 

[edward77]

sad to hear ur story but be brave and dont loose ur hope. We dont know what happens tomorrow, may be u will have a better tomorrow. Dont take any decision in haste. Think well before reaching a conclusion.

 

[Roses_and_clouds]

i am falling in love with someone and he is an addict just like me but he is actually actively using drugs and every time i go to hangout with him he gets drunk or high and dangerously mixes substances and i always have to take care of him. it's so exhausting because he is the only reason i haven't ctb yet because i was planning to do it in this exact moment but i'm holding off because i want to be with him and i havent felt real joy and hope in so long except for being with him. but he is moving back to his house far away in a week and a half and he wont be back for months.
the main point is im starting to feel hopeless again and i dont know what to do. i dont know how to feel better im completely out of options. everything hurts so bad.

One thing that life has taught me, hope can come from most absurd places. Your life is hard, and you're very strong for striving.
I have read a book named "Veronica wants to die". It's about a girl who committed suicide, because she thought life is gonna get worse. She took pills, it didn't work well, she didn't die, but her heart condition worsened to a degree that she only had a week to live. In that week, she went into an mental asylum, and slowly started to regret the fact that she tried to commit suicide. She found meaning in life.
My point is, your life is yours, and if it feels meaningless, give it a meaning. It doesn't matter what meaning, it can be something silly, or something noble. I know it seems hard, but you achieved harder things. By writing this thread, you showed us that you are insanely strong. I hope everything goes better for you in the future

 

[The anhedonic one]

Does He feel the same way about you ?
Or is it a one way relationship ?
If He feels the same way about you, then why is He moving so far away ?
Has He asked you to move with Him ?
I have been in a similar situation.
I know how fucking brutal it is on the emotions.
Sorry to appear blunt here. Just trying to help.