Everything feels pointless, even hobbies.... except Death.

[ChocoPie]

I have no hobbies anymore or maybe I never had any, whatever I do I just start comparing myself to others- art, novels, poetry....fantasy novels just make me feel more useless, hopeless and I hate it all more, I can't genuinely enjoy anything, I started learning abt animals, I told myself I liked it that liked learning facts abt them, I liked knowing abt different animal behaviour and how they explained so many of ours, it was fine at 1st but then I felt the pressure of revising the animal facts, learning more not bcz I enjoyed it but just to not forget all I already worked on...the same previously when I got interested in space, that's why I feel like I was deseparately trying to learn facts just to have some personality, anything someone would love me for....bcz I hate studying I felt stupid,dumb and obviously they don't treat u good in school for being a student like that so I needed something different to fill the void, it was exhausting.
It is always like this for me. I'm just like that, I know I can never change I've been like that since I was born.
There is not one thing I can feel positive abt except death, I know it will end all garbage... if only I was never born.

 

[fatty44]

Im sorry you feel this way. Just know you're not alone with it. I assume part of poor memory stems from the depressed state in our brains and returns to baseline if we manage to escape it. But easier said than done.

 

[frayed]

right there with you

 

[Dejected 55]

For me, everything is becoming increasingly pointless. A little more each day.

 

[Nightfoot]

The phrase "anything that someone would love me for" stood out to me. It's possible that someone would love you just for being the unique person you are. I do understand that modern life seems so pointlessly competitive, but comparing ourselves to others is also pointless because we are unique and our paths are unique so a truly accurate comparison to others is impossible.