everything feels like it makes sense

[666aphom3t]

When I was suicidal in middle school the only thing that allowed me to move on was researching tf out of suicide and studying tf out of this website and eventually suicide just become illogical and not worth the risk. This has remained true on most days but lately I cannot stop but come back to the fact that I am not meant to see 20. I feel like it explains the timing of everything that's happened to me and it is genuinely the only way out of my abusive household because I do not and will not have the support I need for the chronic issues I have that have no cure and few treatment options. Therapy and medication are both inaccessible to me and they would not improve my quality of life enough to make it worth living. I have four months until then, and if things continue to move the way they seem to be aligning I think I finally see peace.