Every day I wake up in hell

[insomuchpain316]

I have debilitating MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) to where I am sensitive to even common day chemicals around my house and most foods. I can't even tolerate sheets or most clothes and sleep outside but am still in intense pain and feeling posioined. Feeling poisoned all day with akaistha and unable to concentrate, sweet way to live. I am suffering so bad it truly is unbelievable I have to live like this. It is so so bad. Like having my leg sawed off all day. And society makes me go on???? For what reason???? I am so angry I have to live like this. By the way this is a good day and I am able to post on bad days I have to pace all day around the house because the posionous sensations my body sends are so uncomfortable. If I go anywhere things are much worse because I get exposed to detergents, deodorants etc. I need to end it or when my health breaks down more I will be stuck feeling like this but worse with no way out. Suppose I have to go to a hospital or lose the ability to walk. I can't imagine the pain I will be in. All shrinks tell me it's all in my head too btw. You think I would sleep outside for fun dude? I can't fail an attempt though because if I go to the hospital or psych ward I will literally be suffering so so much. I can't tolerate the regime for SN so that is out as all pharma sends me uncomfortable sensations. I can't risk going to jail even for a night with N because of exposures. Jumping what if I end up a quadrapeligic in this pain? I am so bad mechanically that I know I would fuck up a hanging. So I am stuck living like this...This isn't life this is pure hell.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Sounds like a painful way to exist. Worse that doctors dont validate what you are experiencing. I doubt you would have problem getting in from D, let alone spending time in jail for it. Many people ordered N with no problems as it is packaged and labeled stealthily. I hope you figure out away to lessen or stop your condition. I read that megadosing vitamin b thiamine can help with sensitivity related conditions so you may want to give it some research. All the best

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Life really is so unfair. I do think it is very cruel how society expects people to suffer for decades even if they are in unbearable pain. We deserve a right to die, a peaceful exit on our own terms. We shouldn't have to resort to methods that could potentially go wrong. It is perfectly understandable that you feel angry. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[noname223]

I am so sorry that you have to endure that. Fuck the societys and governments who want to force us to live!

 

[GreenTree]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Life really is so unfair. I do think it is very cruel how society expects people to suffer for decades even if they are in unbearable pain. We deserve a right to die, a peaceful exit on our own terms. We shouldn't have to resort to methods that could potentially go wrong. It is perfectly understandable that you feel angry. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Spot on. Trouble is society don't know how it feels for us in mental agony so won't allow euthanasia. I'm sure they think we're a bit sad or something. Not a debilitating ability to function as many of us have. Our brains have changed from how they worked before too basically being brain damaged. Well that's how mine feels. Society will never understand. Not just mental agony but cancer sufferers have to live in agony too against there will. So we have to try and plan a death which is so hard too perfect. We also have to be a burden too families, the NHS, Benefits system when we don't even want too. We'd just like euthanasia legalized. Everyone should have that choice I think.

 

[insomuchpain316]

Spot on. Trouble is society don't know how it feels for us in mental agony so won't allow euthanasia. I'm sure they think we're a bit sad or something. Not a debilitating ability to function as many of us have. Our brains have changed from how they worked before too basically being brain damaged. Well that's how mine feels. Society will never understand. Not just mental agony but cancer sufferers have to live in agony too against there will. So we have to try and plan a death which is so hard too perfect. We also have to be a burden too families, the NHS, Benefits system when we don't even want too. We'd just like euthanasia legalized. Everyone should have that choice I think.

This....I don't get why they make people with Cancer suffer...

 

[Chockles]

I can relate. I have many chemical sensitivities & mcas from long term mold exposure. It colonised my sinuses 2 years ago & has given me severe electrical vibrations throughout body, Crawly prickly skin & burning ice pick pain with swollen cheeks, jaw, nose & ears & clicky joints I am in agony all over & cannot detox. It's getting worse by the day I'm bed ridden unable to sleep for the pain. I cry every day rarely able to walk at all. I so need to end my life but options are limited being in debilitating agony. I struggle to eat or drink choking on fluid all the time yet I haven't stsrved/dehydrated myself to death yet as thirst takes over my day 3. I feel like I'm attached to an electrical fence all the time I hope we can both find s way out of this miserable existence.

 

[eryu]

I've never heard of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. Maybe this could be the name for what I have now.
I sort of want to look it up but I anticipate seeing a lot of "WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAUSES IT" which I always find to be demoralizing.
They'll never admit it came from take prescription drugs.
I assume yours comes from drugs too since you mentioned akathisia?

My sensitivity to food and chemicals is perhaps the most debilitating condition I live with. I can't even clean and tidy because raising even a bit of dust will affect me for several days after. I'm confined to pretty much one room because the others make me feel like my chest is being constricted.
It is one of the main reasons I plan to commit suicide. Thankfully I only have akathisia on some days.

When did this start for you and has it improved at all over time?
My sensitivities became more tolerable over the course of several years and if I was in a better environment and had a lot more help, there's a chance I might not commit suicide

 

[Ghostgirl]

I'm so sorry I relate to waking up in hell everyday

 

[ClownMe]

Im sorry, I know how awful it is waking up everyday when you dont want to be here.