Every Day I Live With Regret

[lizzywizzy09]

Anyone else irrevocably and irreversibly fuck up their life beyond repair?

 

[Ash]

I try to stop myself from going down that particular rabbit hole but there are times when it very much feels like that, yes. And in my forties, even if my mental and physical health is magically fixed overnight, I don't know how I'd sort out the rest of it.

In this, you are very much not alone.

 

[AdamOndiAhman]

yh i did. and its embarrassing tbh. i just need to go and put my miserable existence on this earth behind me. i mean i was never set up to experience happiness but i guess in some cases i would've been allowed controlled happiness, like for example helping my single old father with house work or getting a job so that i pay the rent instead of my father, or like bonding more with my siblings especially my down syndrome sister. like i could've experienced a controlled happiness and joy in many ways despite me not being able to experience happiness just by looking in the mirror. instead, i went on a drug induced self destructive cycle for 2 yrs, trampling everyone under my feet and not feeling, during those 2 yrs, even a bit of remorse. and i havent even reached 25 yet. i chose to do wickedness over being a good, nice person. im a evil horrible person that shouldn't have been born, or it had been better for me had i not been born. i recently received my trust fund and im planning on taking myself out. i guess i will not live to see another yr. im sorry to my family that i let down. to my father that put so much time and effort into raising me just for me to fail him so stupidly miserably. like a failed investment that failed to deliver. im just so sorry. but being sorry doesnt remove the stress and turmoil i put my father through or my family. thats why i need to ctb. im planning on giving 2/3 of my trust fund money back to my family and just using the remaining quarter to ctb. idk. sorry for the rant but im just a disgrace of a human being. my father would disown me if he knew the things ive done in search for that temporary high, and thats why i cant ever let him find out. by the time he figures out my wickedness, ill be long gone.

 

[Vicolo cieco]

Yes, my life is ruined. The more I try to fix it, the more I sink into quicksand.

 

[Ashu]

yh i did. and its embarrassing tbh. i just need to go and put my miserable existence on this earth behind me. i mean i was never set up to experience happiness but i guess in some cases i would've been allowed controlled happiness, like for example helping my single old father with house work or getting a job so that i pay the rent instead of my father, or like bonding more with my siblings especially my down syndrome sister. like i could've experienced a controlled happiness and joy in many ways despite me not being able to experience happiness just by looking in the mirror. instead, i went on a drug induced self destructive cycle for 2 yrs, trampling everyone under my feet and not feeling, during those 2 yrs, even a bit of remorse. and i havent even reached 25 yet. i chose to do wickedness over being a good, nice person. im a evil horrible person that shouldn't have been born, or it had been better for me had i not been born. i recently received my trust fund and im planning on taking myself out. i guess i will not live to see another yr. im sorry to my family that i let down. to my father that put so much time and effort into raising me just for me to fail him so stupidly miserably. like a failed investment that failed to deliver. im just so sorry. but being sorry doesnt remove the stress and turmoil i put my father through or my family. thats why i need to ctb. im planning on giving 2/3 of my trust fund money back to my family and just using the remaining quarter to ctb. idk. sorry for the rant but im just a disgrace of a human being. my father would disown me if he knew the things ive done in search for that temporary high, and thats why i cant ever let him find out. by the time he figures out my wickedness, ill be long gone.

Totally relate.

 

[Coconut blue]

Me too :(

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

You are not alone

 

[Raindancer]

Too many regrets to count.

 

[Z-A]

Not "regret" necessarily but I do experience a profound sense of frustration and disappointment with life and existence. It feels unfair, especially when considering that many of the negative events I've faced, including chronic conditions and other challenges, were beyond my control and not of my own making. Additionally, it's disheartening to see opportunities taken away from me and the people I love.

 

[MapleSyrupVein]

dude it feels like when you trip down stairs and bonk bonk bonk, every steps a little thing that adds a bruise to you etc it feels like i am stumbling and still falling and because of my own mistakes and actions,, i do feel like maybe it's fixable? maybe it's just hope in me? but it does feel like if i did something it would help but the idea of doing something is just so far out of reach that's the only part i regret is no motivation?

 

[AveMori]

Anyone else irrevocably and irreversibly fuck up their life beyond repair?

A lot of us have, but it's no use to despair over that. We only have this one life, so there's no reason to compare it to our fantasy of what could have been. Hopefully, a lot of us will be free soon enough, so we can just think about the little bit of joy we had in life with nostalgia!