Discussion ever talked to someone about how you feel irl?

[notadaisy]

i just wanted to know from others if you ever told someone in person that you wanted to ctb? have they or have they not invalidated your feelings
some people i know are aware im suicidal.. just wanna die and i've told them about it
but they always just swish it away or don't take it seriously. no one really cares.

 

[randy]

I started opening up to a friend about how I wanted to ctb. He got super distressed. I guess another friend of his ctb'ed in college. I dropped it and haven't brought it up since

 

[SamTam33]

I've told 5 people. Two were able to identify to some extent. The others, not at all.

In my experience, it was the ones with the higher IQs who were able to relate even if they weren't actively suicidal.

If you're a critical thinker, there's no denying that suicidal people put forth some damn good arguments lol.

Only stubborness, ignorance or denial would cause you to say otherwise.

 

[Tarucest]

i just wanted to know from others if you ever told someone in person that you wanted to ctb? have they or have they not invalidated your feelings
some people i know are aware im suicidal.. just wanna die and i've told them about it
but they always just swish it away or don't take it seriously. no one really cares.

Yep :/ Told my irl friend i was contemplating CBT. He even knows about this account but he either made jokes,ignored it,or just made it about himself. Mind you, im a terrible "influence" on him(according to his mom). He started to Sh because of me. He even said "if i never met you, i probably would've been happy" which rubbed salt in the wounds because before yesterday i never even *talked* about my issues to him. He made his own conscious decision to do that and i tried to stop him but he called me a hypocrite and when we met up to walk (i was trying to lose weight) he brung a blade and cut himself in front of me as a reminder.
Yeah he probably wasn't the best friend ever but he was the only person i could talk too about my interests. And to get laughed at and mocked just felt horrible.
Probably why ive been so active lol. Rekindling old friendships is hard for me and after our fallout i don't think id want too anyways.

 

[bijou]

yes actually, my boyfriend knows i'm on this forum and he is supportive of me talking to other people i can more fully relate to.
i have lamented to my bf and he expresses how badly he obviously wants me to feel better, but he has been in the same position before, so he knows it's more complicated than that.

i feel i am very lucky in this case...

 

[SexyIncél]

Yeah, I've told a bunch. Works best with the curious and mature ones, who are used to holding multiple perspectives in mind

By mature, I don't mean older. Age doesn't seem to matter. In my experience, the worst are those who hold too tight onto their opinions, and prefer when you verify their prejudices

 

[heyrabu]

I have.
Here's some of the reaction I got:
1. "Why are you so gloomy? I can't really vibes with gloomy people, so I think you need to cheer up a little bit so we can hang out again"
2. "Why are you telling me this? Why don't you try seek professional help?"
3. "Is it my fault? So it's all my fault? You blame me for it?"
4. "Haha same lol"

 

[DukeDestroyer]

I've never told anyone, I never will. I don't even joke about ctb at all. If I hint about ctb, people will become sus. A lot of people already know I'm fucked up in the head. My family for some reason thought I was going to attempt to ctb after an Ex brutally dumped me. I've always thought that was a bit odd for them even thinking that.

 

[EternalOblivion]

I told my only friend. Their response to me was: you're not alone. My family is aware as well, but all that led to was yelling and being told I'm selfish. No one is genuinely there for me when I need it - so I don't talk about it anymore.

 

[hellispink]

Yeah. It is always a bad idea. I always end up regretting it. Doesn't matter how much they try to understand, it is a lost case they wont ever get it. And most do not care either they just wanna know the gossip. I have told people online. And only one person ever that I know in person (ex). After that never again committing the same mistake

 

[blissfulbacon]

I told my dad when I was 15 and asked him to get me some help, but he just told me that depression and ctb were for white people and that I needed to suck it up.
I haven't told anyone since lol.

 

[Kobusu]

A few. The responses ranged from understanding and sympathy to almost calling the police on me because they were worried I would hurt myself.

 

[disgugly]

I am quite lucky, because I had a gf who was feeling very similar and we were sort of helping each other. We were real soulmates to each other for some time. Sadly, it's over now.

 

[247sadgirlhours]

yes/no. suicide jokes are a core part of my humor. i made jokes about ctb daily. i think the people around me just think i'm being facetious/humorous, and they don't know my actual mental state inside. i hide it very well. sometimes my jokes hit a little too hard and ppl will ask me if i'm ok xd

 

[Laivirt]

Yes and it never goes well. The people who actually cared were friends my age or younger and therefore had no real power to help me, not that I'd expect them to. They had their own issues to deal with.

The people who did have the power to help (parents) just found me annoying. I think they just approach parenting the same way you approach a new toy. I have food and shelter so...what's the issue?

"I put the batteries in and pressed the on button, so why is it still suicidal? Why can't my toy just work properly?"

 

[itsallpointless]

It's hard. I let it out subliminally I guess. For real life interactions if people say they really care, it's their job to pick up on your body language.

 

[epic]

i just wanted to know from others if you ever told someone in person that you wanted to ctb? have they or have they not invalidated your feelings
some people i know are aware im suicidal.. just wanna die and i've told them about it
but they always just swish it away or don't take it seriously. no one really cares.

I haven't told anybody yet but I am thinking about it. Don't want it to get weird.

 

[allblackallwhite]

I've told everyone I can. Nothing has changed. My wife left me after my hospitalization about 6 months ago.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I have told people in the past, but most of the time just got pro-life platitudes in reply and ended up in a psych ward once. I've been keeping it to myself since I joined this site, but once in a while I've let it slip that suicide was something I sometimes thought about, without saying I was going to do it. I just wish I could tell someone what I'm about to do and have them understand why.

 

[HayBunny23]

It's not a secret at all. When I die, it won't surprise me if people go "FINALLY, took her long enough". I told people straight out I'm going to kill myself since I was ~11 or 12 and they don't do shite about it. I've literally never tried to hide it at all. No one has ever cared if I lived or died for the most part except for my husband.
My husband knows all the details, but he very much sees it as euthanizing a sick animal. He is only hurt because he doesn't want to live without me.
My mom also knows in detail... She didn't care thru highschool how suicidal I was, now that I'm the last kid, she cares. Oh well, can't change it or fix it now.
As for my father, wouldn't surprise me if he is begging for me to die, since I'm such a worthless waste of disappointment. Who knows though, I know he'll be at my funeral pretending like he gave a shite.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's always a terrible idea to do such a thing. I don't get why anyone would risk telling someone else about their wish to ctb, it could lead to others interfering with ctb plans and anyway there are so many non suicidal people who won't even try to understand. Instead they just shame and dismiss what others go through, and so many in this world refuse to accept suicide as being a rational solution.

 

[SuicidalSheep]

I'm extremely open, basically anything about me has been said to at least someone and a lot of information on me is publically available. People will tell you to "speak up" if you're struggling but in my experience it never does any good. You'll have people who get worried, people who get hurt, people who get triggered from their own trauma, people who get tired from all the negativity they can't do shit about, people who don't understand, people who give 0 shits, people who invalidate you or react in toxic ways like victim blaming that only make you worse, people who get frusrated, people who get distant, people who use it against you (luckily this hasn't happened to me yet but I've seen it happen), or force you into a hospital that will likely treat you like garbage (luckily this hasn't happened to me), etc.

It's usually pointless. There are some exceptions.

Also most people just.. don't give a shit. They give a shit if your suicidality mildly inconveniences them, and they may call a procedure they were told to (suicide hotlines, hospitals) or just do nothing. But they don't really tend to care no matter how obvious you make it. And some do care, but in an invalidating, toxic way. Like how you can get arrested for attempting suicide in places.

That's not to say there aren't any people who genuinely care. It's just not the norm, and usually they've been through shit themselves. And they often can't do too much. For me mostly my best friend and my mom and dad care, but neither really understand me and have still said things that actively pissed me off. My councelors seem to care a bit but ehm, at the end of the day they are paid to and once I'm not a client anymore they won't care.

 

[Zulu]

Father: "I think you're being too emotional, overreacting, and quite frankly, selfish." Proceed to get chained up in a garage for half a year without ready access to the restroom and food/water.

Grandmother: Proceeds to throw a glass jar at me, narrowly missing me and shattering on the wall. Forced me to pick up the pieces, hands bleeding from picking up the shards. Is glad that I'm bleeding, and looks with approval that I've tried to off myself with Russian roulette. Maybe next time, I'll do better and actually succeed she says.

Aunt: Get kicked out of the house three weeks later with nothing but the clothes off my back, forced to live off the streets for a few months until I secured employment and rebuilt my life, which I somehow fucking did.

 

[SuicidalSheep]

Father: "I think you're being too emotional, overreacting, and quite frankly, selfish." Proceed to get chained up in a garage for half a year without ready access to the restroom and food/water.

Grandmother: Proceeds to throw a glass jar at me, narrowly missing me and shattering on the wall. Forced me to pick up the pieces, hands bleeding from picking up the shards. Is glad that I'm bleeding, and looks with approval that I've tried to off myself with Russian roulette. Maybe next time, I'll do better and actually succeed she says.

Aunt: Get kicked out of the house three weeks later with nothing but the clothes off my back, forced to live off the streets for a few months until I secured employment and rebuilt my life, which I somehow fucking did.

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I'm sorry but these are some signs of disgusting human beings but honestly I'm not too surprised. Abuse is everywhere. Nobody deserves reactions like that.

 

[redisblue]

A few of my friends from a couple years back knew. They didn't really care, but it's whatever, I'm not friends with them anymore. Nobody that I'm friends with now know - they probably wouldn't care either. My parents know, but after my first therapist when I was 12, they stopped caring because I "got better." If you (or anybody else here) ever wants to talk, I'm here :)