EVER BEEN SO MAD YOU COULD HURT SOMEONE?

[Unattainable666]

I'm wondering if I am a freak or not. I'm normally a very nice person who gets along with everyone. I try to help where I can and have a positive attitude. Where has this gotten me? FUCKED every time. My most recent adventure is proof of this. I am so angry at what they've done to me I could hurt someone and walk away (not just someone but the piece of shit that fucked me). They have made my life so absolutely miserable that my only option is to ctb Do I want to go - no. Do I have to go - yes. And these people will just walk away laughing. My PTSD is off the charts. You see this happened 30 years ago when those people killed my child. They told the coroner they did it, but nothing happened to them not even to the adults that were there. I am really concerned over my anger. I'm afraid of these feelings.

 

[Bianka]

It's normal? I don't think so. But I have very violent thoughts if that makes you feel any better. It's fine until you don't act on it imo. The only god we HAVE to worship is the law. Even tho some mf-s deserve the worst of the worst.

 

[Meteora]

Yes. More than once.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Our personal situations are so different but I have a few people (maybe they seem to be random) that I could kill without hesitating. In the end it wouldn't have prevented the ultimate failure I had but it's part of my misery.

 

[Meteora]

I can relate so much, I m always peaceful, probably for much too long.

What Happened to your child? Sounds awful.
I know the feeling of being afraid of the own anger. Is really difficult.
@Unattainable666

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

yes. have done so. got arrested. just sucked.

 

[Deadfrogwalking]

I just send my Karate Monkey after them

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Whilst I don't wish I could hurt people, I do wish that people got hurt enough to acknowledge that keeping suicidal people alive against their will is immoral and that we deserve the right to die. Unfortunately, I think that it would take a millennium at best for people like us to have the right to die peacefully whenever we want to

 

[Unattainable666]

I can relate so much, I m always peaceful, probably for much too long.

What Happened to your child? Sounds awful.
I know the feeling of being afraid of the own anger. Is really difficult.
@Unattainable666

She was murdered. I just wrote a post about her death

 

[tbroken]

I don't want to sound cynical, but in this life there are many things that we can't just control. Should we accept them? Should we fight to change them? What if the things you are trying to change are bigger and stronger than you? What if certain choices that you made led you to your own despair?
I learnt to meditate and be a spectator of my own life and see things all around.
I'm not as futile as i may think when things go wrong and I'm not the only actor in my victory.
I learnt to don't commit myself.
I'm sorry that you faced all this pain, but maybe it was just destiny.

 

[Unattainable666]

I don't want to sound cynical, but in this life there are many things that we can't just control. Should we accept them? Should we fight to change them? What if the things you are trying to change are bigger and stronger than you? What if certain choices that you made led you to your own despair?
I learnt to meditate and be a spectator of my own life and see things all around.
I'm not as futile as i may think when things go wrong and I'm not the only actor of my victory.
I learnt to don't commit myself.
I'm sorry that you faced all this pain, but maybe it was just destiny.

Life fucking sucks. People suck I dont care how much you meditate that will never change. It's time to make a huge change

 

[Meteora]

She was murdered. I just wrote a post about her death

I m so sorry... I m speechless.... gonna read the thread

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Sometimes, yes.
When I start to have these feelings I know it's time to physically remove myself from the situation. Because it can get to a point of loosing control

Life fucking sucks. People suck I dont care how much you meditate that will never change. It's time to make a huge change

I agree, some wrong doings can't be forgiven

 

[Unattainable666]

Sometimes, yes.
When I start to have these feelings I know it's time to physically remove myself from the situation. Because it can get to a point of loosing control

Some things can't be forgiven

You are so right - some things will never be forgiven - just made better

 

[divinemistress87]

My ptsd has made my anger bad as well I have to constantly put myself in time our so I don't lash out . It's from being in a 24/7 fight or flight mode

 

[Unattainable666]

My ptsd has made my anger bad as well I have to constantly put myself in time our so I don't lash out . It's from being in a 24/7 fight or flight mode

OMG I think we are related!!!!!! Exactly how I feel - fight or flight. I'm now in fight mode will probably remain until I ctb. PTSD absolutely sucks

 

[divinemistress87]

OMG I think we are related!!!!!! Exactly how I feel - fight or flight. I'm now in fight mode will probably remain until I ctb. PTSD absolutely sucks

I am too. I subconsciously think everyone is a threat and want to fight people for no reason. I was thinking of buying a punching bag to get out the anger

 

[Unattainable666]

I am too. I subconsciously think everyone is a threat and want to fight people for no reason. I was thinking of buying a punching bag to get out the anger

That's a really good idea! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You certainly don't deserve it.

 

[divinemistress87]

That's a really good idea! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You certainly don't deserve it.

You too . I hope you find peace