Venting Even murder would be better than this.

[Obsidian_Ichor]

I'm so fucking tired of having to deal with all of this shit that comes with being alive. Every day is a struggle, chronic pain and having to manage myself along with the others that share the fucking head and body I'm trapped in.. Having to pretend I'm someone I'm not just so I don't scare away her friends, entitled motherfuckers acting like I should be their fucking friend and bend over for them just because I live with her, and expecting me to try to be happy whilst I'm fucking at it like that's the easiest thing to do. Stuck with chronic loneliness but can't even handle being bothered let alone being touched or having people in my fucking personal space... I didn't even want to exist in the first place-

But my fucking luck that I'm watched almost 24/7 either by head-mates or by fucking caretakers hired to keep us stable. I can't get supplies since our mail and outdoor activities are monitored, can't even cut without someone finding out after an hour and telling on me, let alone cut deep enough without this stupid fucking body stopping me.. There's a guy who keeps trying to break into my house and at this point I'm so fed up that I've even thought of taunting his ass just to get us fucking murdered since I can't access death myself and want her to keep trusting me.. I wish there was a way to just turn this all off, let me fucking rest please...