Even being on this website feels so pointless.

[Nirrend]

Hello dear FuneralCry,
Your suffering is terrible and I think there are many of us here who sympathise with what you are going through. I would like to thank you first of all, I have posted relatively little here, I am caught up in the cycle of studies and hardly manage to come to SS when I have the time.

But first of all, thank you, because you are someone who is very invested in what others are going through and in any case, it's my opinion, I feel that the closeness that you have with many people who are going through what you are going through, gives you a little warmth. Just like CommitSudoku to whom I pay tribute and thank for the short but warm exchanges I had with.

I don't know you and I say to myself, first of all, what is it that makes you suffer today? Secondly, I'm not encouraging you to do anything, but what's stopping you from doing this today ? Money, access to methods ? SI ?

In fact, although the people on this site are almost more important to me than what surrounds me in my life. Of course, there are people I love, but talking and reading about everyone else's topics here, makes me feel like I'm in between two worlds. I dream of an ideal where, all together, we would meet up there, where all together, without the fear of dying alone, we would be reassured, happy.

I can only be sorry for the impasse you have reached so far, I hope that as we can with our meagre means, we still manage to give you warmth and that one day the choices that belong to you can be realized. I would even say that I understand you 100% because, even if I have what I need to CTB, I am afraid, afraid of being alone, afraid of the void, but paradoxically, I desire this void where the consciousness of not being is non-existent.

Finally, FuneralCry, what are your plans so far? How do you live your days and how do you think you can achieve what you want ?

I'm not trying to demoralize you, far from it, I just want to try to help you to consider solutions.

Hugs on you !

 

[FuneralCry]

Hello dear FuneralCry,
Your suffering is terrible and I think there are many of us here who sympathise with what you are going through. I would like to thank you first of all, I have posted relatively little here, I am caught up in the cycle of studies and hardly manage to come to SS when I have the time.

But first of all, thank you, because you are someone who is very invested in what others are going through and in any case, it's my opinion, I feel that the closeness that you have with many people who are going through what you are going through, gives you a little warmth. Just like CommitSudoku to whom I pay tribute and thank for the short but warm exchanges I had with.

I don't know you and I say to myself, first of all, what is it that makes you suffer today? Secondly, I'm not encouraging you to do anything, but what's stopping you from doing this today ? Money, access to methods ? SI ?

In fact, although the people on this site are almost more important to me than what surrounds me in my life. Of course, there are people I love, but talking and reading about everyone else's topics here, makes me feel like I'm in between two worlds. I dream of an ideal where, all together, we would meet up there, where all together, without the fear of dying alone, we would be reassured, happy.

I can only be sorry for the impasse you have reached so far, I hope that as we can with our meagre means, we still manage to give you warmth and that one day the choices that belong to you can be realized. I would even say that I understand you 100% because, even if I have what I need to CTB, I am afraid, afraid of being alone, afraid of the void, but paradoxically, I desire this void where the consciousness of not being is non-existent.

Finally, FuneralCry, what are your plans so far? How do you live your days and how do you think you can achieve what you want ?

I'm not trying to demoralize you, far from it, I just want to try to help you to consider solutions.

Hugs on you !

Simply just being alive is painful for me, I want nothing to do with this life, and I am always very tired. Just existing is what makes me suffer. I have never wanted to live and I never will, I see consciousness as being torture and I prefer the sound of non existence.
The main thing that prevents me from ctb is the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit and the fear of failing the method. If it was easier to leave, I would already be gone. Ctb is very difficult for me and that is just the way that things are. I do not have any plans for anything really, I just exist and try to pass the time until I fall asleep. I do not do much. Eventually I will probably get desperate enough to find a way to leave, I am not reaching old age no matter what.
Thank you for being so kind, and I wish you the best.

 

[demuic]

I am sorry you suffer so much. Posting on here used to be a refuge from the pro life and anti choice kind of people, not anymore. Everywhere is the same and there's no escape from the suffering.

I relate to you a lot as I have a similar viewpoint to you finding it unbearable just to be alive, never feeling much, if any, contentment or satisfaction, and we are close in age. This world is really not for everyone, living is not for everyone. It's an ugly and brutal thing with cruelties baked into the microscopic level. The only upside is that none of this will last forever, all will eventually end, one way or another.

Please don't let all the insensitive people on here get you down, they haven't lived your life or been inside your mind, despite thinking they have all the easy answers. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Just know your presence is appreciated. I hope you can find relief.