etiquette question

[bov]

Feels like every day someone announces their imminent CTB and tho I've never interacted with the person directly I'm always tempted to PM an invitation to talk.

I wouldn't explicitly encourage them to reconsider but I'd be lying if I said that wouldn't be on my mind.

I'm still new here and still iffy on the mores. If you were in their place, most likely you wouldn't even check your PMs. But if you did, would you find this insulting or irksome?

I'm of two minds.

Sometimes I think this forum is first and foremost a safe space from those kinds of encouragements; other times I think it's 1st and foremost a space for whatever erstwhile taboo convos about suicide might enhance users' "wellbeing."

Then I think what everyone here's probably thought about 'to death': what even is well-being? I also think who tf takes a website's purpose into consideration when messaging a suicidal person? [Sure, tell me I don't belong here then, I get it].

S/o to anyone who thinks it's funny to ask a question about etiquette on a suicide website, thanks to whoever replies, and sry in advance if this triggers a redundant debate.

 

[AJ95]

I think it's okay to PM someone to talk, but I really wouldn't try and talk someone into reconsidering, once someone has made up their mind that's their choice.

Like imo it's fine to say to someone "Remember, if you change your mind that's completely fine" but it's not okay to say "please reconsider, you don't need to do this".

It's about being supportive of their decision whichever way it is.

 

[bov]

That checks out

as it were ;)

 

[Marktheghost]

I think I agree with AJ95.

 

[k75]

Some people don't appreciate random PMs, but it's always safe to drop an invitation to talk in a thread. Or ask if they mind if you message them.

 

[woxihuanni]

Don't cause distress to strangers in their last moments. Build friendships and extend support before it comes to that, but never assume you are somehow wiser than the other person about their own lives.

And really, it is funny to care about manners on a pro-choice website? Why precisely? But I am not going to engage further. You are apparently very young, I hope not too young to be here at all.

 

[Meditation guide]

But if you did, would you find this insulting or irksome?

It is against the rules to try to talk people out of it.

 

[bov]

Don't cause distress to strangers in their last moments. Build friendships and extend support before it comes to that, but never assume you are somehow wiser than the other person about their own lives.

And really, it is funny to care about manners on a pro-choice website? Why precisely? But I am not going to engage further. You are apparently very young, I hope not too young to be here at all.

The joke attempt was based on the premise that the existence of a site for suicide already breaks a social taboo (I understand it's pro-choice ) but you're right, it isn't funny.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I would not PM someone you have never spoken to off the back of a goodbye post tbh. It's okay to offer support but do not try to influence someone's decision either way.

 

[bov]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Seeing more clearly now.