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PerAsperaAdAstra

Member
May 15, 2019
16
I can't sleep. Every time I try, I burst into tears. I tried falling asleep on the couch while hugging my dog, but even that didn't work. I tried taking a shower to relax, and ended up breaking down. So I figured I'd come here and ask some questions about when/if I do the deed, and how to legally/financially prepare for it.

I'll probably do that at a hotel so I'm sure to be discovered quickly. I was thinking of doing it in the bathroom, closing the door, and taping a note on the bathroom door to tell the staff not to open the door, and let 911 deal with it. I don't want to traumatise anyone. I might be dead then, but it doesn't mean I don't have to be considerate about it. Would that be worth it? I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking everything. I always do that, overthink things.

Anyway.
- I'm from Europe. I don't have a green card or permanent residency in the US. I am/was on a non-immigrant visa (I'm still here legally, and intend to do it while I'm still legally allowed in the country). I was thinking of leaving my passport in plain view, so they have my identity and know I'm a foreigner. I'm guessing the authorities will contact the embassy/consulate of my country, who will then contact my closest relatives? Should I leave something with their contact info to facilitate everything? Would they get back the body right away, or would the police hold it for necropsy and such?

- The testament. Do I need to have it notarised, or is writing it down enough? There's a couple of items I want to go to specific people, and any extra money I have, I would like to be donated to charities.

- I would most likely get a dog sitter for my dog for a few days, enough time for my family to get here, and I would ask them in a note to take care of her. I'm guessing that, as my closest relatives, they'll legally be allowed to take her?

- Should I close all of my autopays and accounts (except for my bank account) beforehand? Internet, Netflix, utilities, etc. There'd be a binder with all of my important paperwork in it, as well as a sheet listing what I have already done, and what needs to be done, and suicide notes, as well as a list of people I'd like to be notified. Everything would be packed up.

- What about my car? Would it straight up go to my closest relatives? I'd leave them with the contact info of a couple of car dealerships that I know would buy it cash at a fair price, to help them pay for any legal fees, or funeral fees.

- How do I make sure they'll get back the money that is tied to my rental place ? Notably the deposit, and a big sum (about two months worth of rent) I had to leave because I didn't quite earn enough for the rent. I want to make sure they get it back.

They might be silly questions, sorry. I'm just not sure how it would work since I'm not American.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
PerAspera, it's very good that you're putting careful thought into this. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and hope you're still looking for another job. Can I ask what line of work you're looking for? Maybe someone knows someone who can help you somehow.

Meanwhile, the one question I know the answer to: Your testament doesn't need to be notarized. It's good to write it in your own handwriting, and of course you should sign and date it. You can probably find wording on the internet.

Another issue you might want to address is how the body should be dealt with. I hope your situation improves enough to make a difference, and that things go smoothly for you whatever you decide.
 
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PerAsperaAdAstra

Member
May 15, 2019
16
PerAspera, it's very good that you're putting careful thought into this. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and hope you're still looking for another job. Can I ask what line of work you're looking for? Maybe someone knows someone who can help you somehow.

Meanwhile, the one question I know the answer to: Your testament doesn't need to be notarized. It's good to write it in your own handwriting, and of course you should sign and date it. You can probably find wording on the internet.

Another issue you might want to address is how the body should be dealt with. I hope your situation improves enough to make a difference, and that things go smoothly for you whatever you decide.

The chances of finding a company willing to sponsor me are slim to none in my fields of expertise. It'll be easier if I go back to school and do a degree that leads to jobs in high demand.
I can work in education (no teaching certificate though, so it'd have to be a private school), translation, or sales in the horse business.
The later is most likely not doable though, as I have a non-compete clause for 3 months, and my visa is only valid for 60 days after the day I was fired (which was 10 days ago).
Another solution is to go back to college (and get a job that pays under the table to afford living), but I'm pretty sure there is no way I can afford it.
I definitely appreciate it, though.

Good to know about the testament. And good point about the body. I honestly don't care, as I'll be dead. Ideally, I would like it to go to science if it can help people, but if my relatives aren't comfortable with that, then I'm cool with cremation.
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
The chances of finding a company willing to sponsor me are slim to none in my fields of expertise. It'll be easier if I go back to school and do a degree that leads to jobs in high demand.
I can work in education (no teaching certificate though, so it'd have to be a private school), translation, or sales in the horse business.
The later is most likely not doable though, as I have a non-compete clause for 3 months, and my visa is only valid for 60 days after the day I was fired (which was 10 days ago).
Another solution is to go back to college (and get a job that pays under the table to afford living), but I'm pretty sure there is no way I can afford it.
I definitely appreciate it, though.

Good to know about the testament. And good point about the body. I honestly don't care, as I'll be dead. Ideally, I would like it to go to science if it can help people, but if my relatives aren't comfortable with that, then I'm cool with cremation.

You should state your preferences in your testament or a note to your family, since transporting/disposing of a body is connected with costs. If that could be burdensome to your family you may want to instruct them to do what's cheapest, which is probably donating to a medical school for teaching purposes.

Since enrolling in school could be a solution ... when I was teaching in NYC language schools were bending over backwards to enroll students whether they could pay tuition or not, since the schools were subsidized according to how many learners were enrolled. Your English is miles too good for an ESL course, but it may be worth looking into schools in other fields. These were not top-drawer schools, mind you, but they sufficed for visa purposes. Of course that may all be very different now that the US is so dysfunctional ... What part of the country are you in, if I can ask?
 

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