Escaped being sent back to the psych ward!!!

[purpp37]

I was admitted in February for running into oncoming traffic while having a 3 hour long panic attack and spent over a week in high security and then was transferred to the "lower risk" ward of the government looney bin and placed on a mental health order. Legally forcing me to stay there against my will for weeks. Just a few days ago my mother attempted to send me back to the wastebin for mentally ill junkie losers after I had 2 bottles of robitussin and had 28 Valium and over 30 drinks on a 3 day bender the week after a 4 day meth bender slamming for the first time tripping on acid and MDA with my ex girlfriend who hasn't spoken to me since then. When I was in the hospital I told them I was going to kill myself as soon as I was able to get out of any psych ward or hospital and they cleared me to go in the morning and my vitals were checked out fine and nothing happened my mother was just trying to lock me up again. I tried to hang myself with the cords in the hospital while the nurses weren't there and the curtains were covering me but I couldn't properly tie a hangman's noose with the cords in time before the mental health assessment team came and stopped me and I explained to them my history and the reason for my prior admission and history with federal investigators and told him I was planning to commit suicide and they basically said there was nothing that a short term stay could do so they gave up and let me go on the morning YAYYYYYYYY. I got freed first thing in the morning 7am they didn't even take half the shit off me hahaha. But now it's even worse because my fucking friend just got raided by the FBI for high capacity magazine and possession of device material. And he's facing prison time he's fucked he was one of my best friends all my friends are either getting raided by federal police or dying. Everyone I know is dying from drugs or getting swooped up by the Feds. Fuck life fuck everything fuck everyone and fuck the system 1312 the only good cop is a dead cop. Fuck this life. I can't wait to shoot that needle in my vein and go to where my name destined I'd be.
I hope it's her blood in the used needle I have, I want her blood to infuse with mine while I die so I'll be with her in the end <3 even though she doesn't love me

 

[purpp37]

My fucking retard parents took the only thing I had left of her body, that needle, they took it away from me because they found it and I'll never forgive them
I'm lucky I shot the liquid into my mouth and swallowed her blood so at least a part of her will be in me
I'm lucky I shot the liquid into my mouth so her blood can enter my bloodstream at least and she'll forever be in me

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Honestly, after reading your postings, seems it could have been beneficial if you had stayed, could have stayed, wanted to stay, a wee bit longer to get some help. But, we all make our own bed and then have to lie in it, right. Illicit drugs? Ilegal firearms and/or accessories? Why wouldn't anyone expect run-ins with the law, or family in the case of the drugs, when partaking in those endeavors? Kind of goes with the territory, does it not?

I'm not a trained mental healthcare anything, but really, to me, imo, it really appears like you need some help. I hope you get it. Good luck.