Venting envy

[avstin]

it's eating me alive, I constantly feel like blowin my shit right off. i am borderline envious of every single fuckin person no matter what I do I will never be what I want. i'm so jealous of their scars cause i want everyone to know how much i suffer and yet I freak out the second i cut too deep, Im jealous of people who tried to cbt and ended up in hospitals i ENVY people who are just so simply alive and happy and have soso many different friends and are living their lifes to the fullest cause no matter what I do I always feel so fuckin out of place anywhere I go i just wish to be happy with being myself but i am so incapable of doing so it's driving me insane

 

[endboss]

maybe find a meditation group in your area or become a zen monk. these people are pretty chill about themselves and i admire that. if i were physically healthy that is what i would do. idk.. I just wanted to give you an answer to your post:)