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cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
Hey! This is my first post, so please pardon me for being new to all of this!

I plan to kill myself tomorrow. Kinda ironic, considering it'll be Sunday, the day of the lord and all. I don't even believe in God, but I guess you could see it as poetic in a weird sorta way.

I always thought my death would be more... something? I'm not entirely sure, but it's strange. Tomorrow will be a normal day. I've already quit my job so luckily I don't have to go to my shift tomorrow, but I'll still make my siblings breakfast. I'll still take my dogs for a walk. I still have lunch plans with my mom. I just find it morbidly funny that my to-do list for tomorrow ends in my death.

Admittedly, I'm not a great person. Not terrible by any means, but I'm not great. I don't think going into the details of my life here would benefit anyone, and I doubt y'all give a shit, so I'll spare the boring details by simply saying that I genuinely believe that suicide is the only option for me.

I want to use the Sodium Nitrite method. Ive got the Nitrite and an OTC antiemetic, as well as an antacid to maybe help with the acidity. I wanted to choose the most peaceful method while also keeping it relatively painless (I know for a fact that pain will cause me to want to turn back.)

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, in all honesty. I don't have access to prescription antiemetics, so i'm really hoping this'll work with some simple over-the-counter shit. Failure is not an option here.

If you guys have any feedback or advice on how I can get my plan to run as smoothly and efficiently as possible, I will cherish you for the thirty hours I have left on this planet.


Alrighty! Well, thank you for reading this, wish me luck and please leave advice if you got any! :)
 
D

dggtscccvfd

Arcanist
Jun 1, 2023
497
How much SN are you intending to take?
 
A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
Man. OTC antiemetics is begging to fail. You've come this far. You should do it properly and get good AEs. Otherwise you're just wasting the SN, You'll puke it all up and potentially not absorb enough.

Also, you do know, don't you, that SN is not a particularly pleasant way to go? Real shortness of breath, significant nausea, headache, pounding heart... if you're not comfortable with all of this it's quite possible you'll decide to call for help because you panic. Dying is not easy, normally, and SN is no exception. For this method you really need a rock solid mentality
 
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cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
Man. OTC antiemetics is begging to fail. You've come this far. You should do it properly and get good AEs. Otherwise you're just wasting the SN, You'll puke it all up and potentially not absorb enough.

Also, you do know, don't you, that SN is not a particularly pleasant way to go? Real shortness of breath, significant nausea, headache, pounding heart... if you're not comfortable with all of this it's quite possible you'll decide to call for help because you panic. Dying is not easy, normally, and SN is no exception. For this method you really need a rock solid mentality
shit, alright. what would you do if you were me? ive waited this long, the date has to be tomorrow. ive worked so hard, i cant lose this now. should i consider alternative methods?
How much SN are you intending to take?
Was just gonna put a tablespoon in a glass of water, about 30 grams.
 
A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
shit, alright. what would you do if you were me? ive waited this long, the date has to be tomorrow. ive worked so hard, i cant lose this now. should i consider alternative methods?

Was just gonna put a tablespoon in a glass of water, about 30 grams.
It's an easy method to make work, unlike other options. With prescription AEs it's almost certain to work. You've waited this long, if I were you I'd get proper AEs and do it the right way. You could always try other methods like partial suspension but don't rely on them working. I've been trying methods for 23 years with no success. Unfortunately I only really have SN remaining as an option, which is an unpleasant thought. But at least if done right it's almost guaranteed to work.
 
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod
Jun 5, 2023
3,178
shit, alright. what would you do if you were me? ive waited this long, the date has to be tomorrow. ive worked so hard, i cant lose this now. should i consider alternative methods?

Was just gonna put a tablespoon in a glass of water, about 30 grams.
please get a scale because some people underdose and therefore do not ctb and fail resulting in miserable consequences. Measurements may differ country to country by tablespoon but I'd still get a scale if I were you.

OTC aniemetics is dependent upon what can you actually get because there are some that could work from what I've seen on this forum but I got Meto because I wanted to be safe than sorry but people have ctb with SN and Ibuprofen or just SN by itself but you'll more than likely vomit more than you actually want but this is where back up glasses come in, at least 2 more should you vomit out a good amount of SN. However as @aGoodDayToDie said, try to get dopamine blocking AEs.
 
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huntergirl14

huntergirl14

Member
Mar 15, 2023
74
I read somewhere in order to test the authenticity of SN, we can try to mix a little bit blood and it will start some sort of reaction which should be visible.

But please do your own research about this.
 
cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
It's an easy method to make work, unlike other options. With prescription AEs it's almost certain to work. You've waited this long, if I were you I'd get proper AEs and do it the right way. You could always try other methods like partial suspension but don't rely on them working. I've been trying methods for 23 years with no success. Unfortunately I only really have SN remaining as an option, which is an unpleasant thought. But at least if done right it's almost guaranteed to work.
not sure if it's an antiemetic , but i do have fluoxetine and olanzapine on hand, and lots of it. will either of those help the process if i take them ? thank you so much , you're the best for helping me out
 
A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
not sure if it's an antiemetic , but i do have fluoxetine and olanzapine on hand, and lots of it. will either of those help the process if i take them ? thank you so much , you're the best for helping me out
Olanzapine will help a little, but not much. It's better than nothing but I'd recommend trying to get better AEs
 
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cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
Olanzapine will help a little, but not much. It's better than nothing but I'd recommend trying to get better AEs
'better than nothing' is good enough for me at this point. there's no way for me to feasibly get a better Æ without raising suspicion. the desperation is kicking in so i'm less worried about what i have to do, as long as i ctb tomorrow night . worst thing that happens, i fail SN and go 'take a swim' in the lake.

any idea how much olanzapine i should take and when ? thanks again
 
jar-baby

jar-baby

Specialist
Jun 20, 2023
357
1. Make sure you've got the correct dosage. How much do you weigh? 30 grams sounds like it could be a bit much— and too much could make you throw up. Also make sure you don't use too much water.
2. Prepare backup glasses. At least 2 backups— so 3 in total. If/when you vomit, you'll need to take your backup(s).
3. Fast beforehand (if you didn't know this already). I believe the recommended time is 8 hours before starting the process.
4. If you've got painkillers, you can take those before the SN, too. I imagine the discomfort experienced after taking the SN— for instance, a headache— could heighten nausea so it'd be good to avoid that.

If you've read the success stories on here you'll know it's possible to ctb using SN without AEs and there's no guarantee you'll throw up. Though obviously prescription AEs are preferable.
 
A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
'better than nothing' is good enough for me at this point. there's no way for me to feasibly get a better Æ without raising suspicion. the desperation is kicking in so i'm less worried about what i have to do, as long as i ctb tomorrow night . worst thing that happens, i fail SN and go 'take a swim' in the lake.

any idea how much olanzapine i should take and when ? thanks again
No idea. Sorry. But probably a higher dose would be advised, just not too high
 
Pidgeons_Sparrows

Pidgeons_Sparrows

-flying rat
Apr 16, 2023
628
OTC antiemetics are likely to fail
hell, even with metoclopramide which is the recommended antiemetic, the chance of vomiting is high
Its possible to ctb with sn without AEs but you will have to fast and very likely drink backup glasses
Also why the urgency? In a rush? Why?
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
889
OTC antiemetic
They are way too weak and you can get meto easily in europe.
Does anyone know if this is still recommended?
Real shortness of breath, significant nausea, headache, pounding heart
Can the shortness of breath feel like suffocating?
For the headache there is ibuprofen but yea it probably won't help much.
Pounding heart doesn't sound too bad.

I plan to take benzos before to calm me down, this should reduce over all discomfort of the symptoms, I would prefer opioids but they induce vomiting so that would be dumb.
I will also turn on calming music but probably place my phone somewhere else so I can't call for help instantly.

Doesn't sound like a perfect death but seems like a good method for my situation, guns are hard to get in germany and I can't transport a nitrogen cylinder to my mothers apartment.
Downer od would definitely be peaceful for me but my body reacted very loudly to it and there is little information on that method and doesn't seem as deadly as sn.
I can't get partial too work but I will look into swb.
 
cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
OTC antiemetics are likely to fail
hell, even with metoclopramide which is the recommended antiemetic, the chance of vomiting is high
Its possible to ctb with sn without AEs but you will have to fast and very likely drink backup glasses
Also why the urgency? In a rush? Why?
"urgency" is a strong word. it's more just like i'm ready NOW. i don't wanna keep waiting. Ive had this date picked out for a while because it's good in terms of planning. I already quit my job today in preparation for this, can't go back now!
1. Make sure you've got the correct dosage. How much do you weigh? 30 grams sounds like it could be a bit much— and too much could make you throw up. Also make sure you don't use too much water.
2. Prepare backup glasses. At least 2 backups— so 3 in total. If/when you vomit, you'll need to take your backup(s).
3. Fast beforehand (if you didn't know this already). I believe the recommended time is 8 hours before starting the process.
4. If you've got painkillers, you can take those before the SN, too. I imagine the discomfort experienced after taking the SN— for instance, a headache— could heighten nausea so it'd be good to avoid that.

If you've read the success stories on here you'll know it's possible to ctb using SN without AEs and there's no guarantee you'll throw up. Though obviously prescription AEs are preferable.
I'm a female, 220 pounds (last i checked), age 19. i don't have access to a food scale so again, i was just gonna put about a spoonful into the glass and hope for the best. was gonna do a higher dosage just because i am heavy
 
Last edited:
A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
They are way too weak and you can get meto easily in europe.

Does anyone know if this is still recommended?

Can the shortness of breath feel like suffocating?
For the headache there is ibuprofen but yea it probably won't help much.
Pounding heart doesn't sound too bad.

I plan to take benzos before to calm me down, this should reduce over all discomfort of the symptoms, I would prefer opioids but they induce vomiting so that would be dumb.
I will also turn on calming music but probably place my phone somewhere else so I can't call for help instantly.

Doesn't sound like a perfect death but seems like a good method for my situation, guns are hard to get in germany and I can't transport a nitrogen cylinder to my mothers apartment.
Downer od would definitely be peaceful for me but my body reacted very loudly to it and there is little information on that method and doesn't seem as deadly as sn.
I can't get partial too work but I will look into swb.
From what I understand, the shortness of breath is like you're going for a really good run. But I'm not 100% certain. I've seen 2 reports of people who tried it and said it was a bit like suffocating, but more reports saying it wasn't. So IDK but I have to say I'm not looking forward to it
 
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H

hdahsa

Member
Jul 25, 2021
54
The only things important

Fasting - for quicker absorption into the bloodstream
30gm in 50ml water for heavier people - 1 teaspoon will measure 5-7gm
Ability to keep it down and not be found or call for help for 5-6 hours.
 
Pidgeons_Sparrows

Pidgeons_Sparrows

-flying rat
Apr 16, 2023
628
"urgency" is a strong word. it's more just like i'm ready NOW. i don't wanna keep waiting. Ive had this date picked out for a while because it's good in terms of planning. I already quit my job today in preparation for this, can't go back now!

I'm a female, 220 pounds (last i checked), age 19. i don't have access to a food scale so again, i was just gonna put about a spoonful into the glass and hope for the best. was gonna do a higher dosage just because i am heavy
Ah i see, fair. Good luck to you then
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,904
I hope you can find peace and everything goes well for you! I wish you all the best with your plans!
 
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jar-baby

jar-baby

Specialist
Jun 20, 2023
357
I'm a female, 220 pounds (last i checked), age 19. i don't have access to a food scale so again, i was just gonna put about a spoonful into the glass and hope for the best. was gonna do a higher dosage just because i am heavy
You can check out the table in this post that matches body weights to appropriate doses (and also details how many tablespoons make up each dosage). For you, it says 1.4 tablespoons or 25g. Of course, the volume of a tablespoon is going to differ depending on where you live but if you really can't access a scale, it'll have to do. The same post also has a screenshot of the PPH's author saying that antacids aren't recommended anymore, fwiw.

19F too— we're among the youngest in a forum full of young people so if it's not too personal, I'm curious— what are your reasons for ctb?
 
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cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
You can check out the table in this post that matches body weights to appropriate doses (and also details how many tablespoons make up each dosage). For you, it says 1.4 tablespoons or 25g. Of course, the volume of a tablespoon is going to differ depending on where you live but if you really can't access a scale, it'll have to do. The same post also has a screenshot of the PPH's author saying that antacids aren't recommended anymore, fwiw.

19F too— we're among the youngest in a forum full of young people so if it's not too personal, I'm curious— what are your reasons for ctb?
yo! it's kinda cool seeing someone else like me on here!

i have a lot of reasons, it's not tied to one particular thing, but here's the jist:

I'm 19, i'm already exhausted and burnt out. I spent a lot of my teenage years in and out of hospitals and medical facilities, and I just generally feel like I wasn't meant to be here. I think that with the amount that I'm struggling just to be able to get out of bed and leave the house every day is torture. No one should have to feel obligated to stay alive, especially not in this economy.
 
jar-baby

jar-baby

Specialist
Jun 20, 2023
357
yo! it's kinda cool seeing someone else like me on here!

i have a lot of reasons, it's not tied to one particular thing, but here's the jist:

I'm 19, i'm already exhausted and burnt out. I spent a lot of my teenage years in and out of hospitals and medical facilities, and I just generally feel like I wasn't meant to be here. I think that with the amount that I'm struggling just to be able to get out of bed and leave the house every day is torture. No one should have to feel obligated to stay alive, especially not in this economy.
I see— that sounds tough, I'm sorry. You're right, no one should be forced to stay alive.
I hope you find peace. Feel free to dm if you wanna talk :)
 
softgirlluna

softgirlluna

Member
Jul 8, 2023
19
Most SN failures come from medical intervention afaik.

As far as anti emetics, you can get promethazine otc but it's not very strong and you're best with cyclazine or something equally strong which are pretty much only prescribed. It's not that hard to get a prescription in my experience since they aren't commonly abused - I got a cyclozine script because I struggle to take pills without throwing up. You could tell your doctor something similar and try get a script that way.

Also, you said 220lbs which is around 100kg. PPH says 35grams SN for people over 100kg so consider increasing the 25gm recommended SN dose just to be sure.

Be safe and good luck, see you on the other side<3
 
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Minsu

Minsu

Suicidal korean girl 🇰🇷🏳️‍🌈
Jan 17, 2023
382
What would happen if one underdose and survive? Any long term consequences or even getting vegetable?
 
cas_eats_ass

cas_eats_ass

Member
Jun 4, 2023
12
What would happen if one underdose and survive? Any long term consequences or even getting vegetable?
i know the answer to this one!

in the research i've done, there haven't been any recorded long term effects. what ive seen is that people that survive experience some pain and discomfort, but SN is one of the "safer" methods in terms of reversibility.
 
Minsu

Minsu

Suicidal korean girl 🇰🇷🏳️‍🌈
Jan 17, 2023
382
i know the answer to this one!

in the research i've done, there haven't been any recorded long term effects. what ive seen is that people that survive experience some pain and discomfort, but SN is one of the "safer" methods in terms of reversibility.
Thank you for the possitive message!
 

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