samicitchka
It Hurts Until it Doesn't.
- Apr 14, 2024
- 33
Sorry but I need to vent. For the last 15 years of my life I have wanted to CTB. I've tried on numerous occasions and failed. I was found by my husband on two occasions landing me in the psych ward both times.
I have tried working with therapist after therapist and all they do is prescribe to me and I am so sick and tired of taking all this shit. At the end of the day it does nothing.
My partner of 16 years walked out on me 2 weeks before Xmas last year with zero explanation - then this week I got blindsided with being served separation papers while he slinked off the visit a friend for a few weeks on the other side of the country.
On top of this he left when right after I was diagnosed with stage two uterine cancer. He left me to struggle financially and to care for our dogs alone. He has shown little to no support. I also recently lost my job due to my physical and mental health.
I wake up everyday wanting to not be here. I just want to be at peace. I have no friends or family - I am all alone and I am exhausted and tired of fighting. I'm 43 years old now and this is not the life I ever wanted for myself and I am just done.
I have decided F is my desired CTB method but finding it in T.O has proved to be harder then expected. I just wanna dose and be done with it all. I am just so so tired
Sorry for the rang but it's too much to hold in some days.
I have tried working with therapist after therapist and all they do is prescribe to me and I am so sick and tired of taking all this shit. At the end of the day it does nothing.
My partner of 16 years walked out on me 2 weeks before Xmas last year with zero explanation - then this week I got blindsided with being served separation papers while he slinked off the visit a friend for a few weeks on the other side of the country.
On top of this he left when right after I was diagnosed with stage two uterine cancer. He left me to struggle financially and to care for our dogs alone. He has shown little to no support. I also recently lost my job due to my physical and mental health.
I wake up everyday wanting to not be here. I just want to be at peace. I have no friends or family - I am all alone and I am exhausted and tired of fighting. I'm 43 years old now and this is not the life I ever wanted for myself and I am just done.
I have decided F is my desired CTB method but finding it in T.O has proved to be harder then expected. I just wanna dose and be done with it all. I am just so so tired
Sorry for the rang but it's too much to hold in some days.
