Discussion Ennui

[whatevs]

I've reached a point today where I have a crystalline perception of how there's nothing I want to do (or how the few thimgs I want are out of reach). And yet I have to exist, put in the minimum struggle to pass my days fed, housed and entertained. Well, not so much entertained. Entertainment lost it's delusional appeal a long time ago: I know we actually are living in the most peculiar science fiction horror movie imaginable. All fiction is part of the same childish insanity that ascribes no mystery to real life and limits it to simulations - books, movies, videogames...

To exist in this... Why? To not wound my relatives? If I have no place and no joy in this sanitarium, I should go. What is outside of this horrible place? Will we go somewhere else? What is life exactly? Modern science is a den of whores, they can't tell you. There's no defying curiosity in them, they're subdued. They'll tell you what the powers and principalities of this dark age pay them to, what keeps the machine marching towards fulfillment of a larger plan.

 

[BlackWednesday]

I understand. I no longer want anything out of life either. Nothing realisticly acheivable anyway. Life is spent struggling to look after my basic needs or trying to distract myself. My only goal now is to be free of this struggle

 

[exploitedbacteria]

Pretty obvious that our lives are being exploited somehow. I'm going out using the ultimate form of rebellion. Screw this rock and whatever organism is running this shit show.

 

[Pluto]

I think everyone can relate. Even the normies. Someone asked a similar question recently, so I'm copying my reply.

The weird thing about life is that there isn't actually a good answer to the questions around pointlessness.

When people are having positive experiences, engaging in enjoyable activities and so on, the question of "What's the point of all this?" does not arise at all. People only ask such questions when they are suffering.

Another way of saying it is that the ones who ask the question never find an answer, whereas the ones who have the answer would never ask the question.

 

[Archness]

Honestly, I think humanity just entered it's last chapter this century. No where left to make progress except technologically.... For what purpose? To create the pleasure cube? To become immortal for that life?

Ultimately I only live life to distract from it, to escape from it, as the inevitable suffering has no meaning, and all the pleasures in the world is reduced to a fleeting sensation. The only way out is death, so that will be my last escape from my own life.

Honestly, excuse the 2nd rate writing above. Sometimes I just excrete it like that, being a writer and all. You seem a bit interesting to talk to, feel free to enter my DMs.

we actually are living in the most peculiar science fiction horror movie imaginable.

At this rate I'll conclude we're a fictitious simulation of a reality above.

 

[whatevs]

My life is such an absurdity oftentimes. I spent 3h programming a screen in a mobile app where imaginary alumni set up made-up subjects for a end-of-course work that I am being paid to do by a pathetic scammer that doesn't want to do the work himself.

And yet, when I submerge myself in the inhuman and Matrix-loving task of communing with tech in this way, I feel more content, more satisfied, more like when you do when you have released sexual urges. This prolactin-filled feeling, I often get from programming nonsense (since almost all programs are nonsense at best and enslaving sinister crap at worst).

I feel better scrolling up and down in the list I have set up in the screen, lmao. The simple but elegant design and the responsive nature of the screen soothe me. What strange creature that I am. And yet, it's always better to feel less miserable, even though it's with using creativity in a insane setting.

Also, something else about my damaged mind. It has taken me 4 days to gain the courage to read the replies. Somehow, I was sure people would mock my suffering and argue whatever point I was making. But nobody did (not that I'm against the idea of being free to argue with others politely). This must be because I was sexually abused as a kid and my parents didn't seem to care, something disfigured my mind to the point that it harms me more than a dedicated enemy would.

 

[Iva]

My life is such an absurdity oftentimes. I spent 3h programming a screen in a mobile app where imaginary alumni set up made-up subjects for a end-of-course work that I am being paid to do by a pathetic scammer that doesn't want to do the work himself.

And yet, when I submerge myself in the inhuman and Matrix-loving task of communing with tech in this way, I feel more content, more satisfied, more like when you do when you have released sexual urges. This prolactin-filled feeling, I often get from programming nonsense (since almost all programs are nonsense at best and enslaving sinister crap at worst).

I feel better scrolling up and down in the list I have set up in the screen, lmao. The simple but elegant design and the responsive nature of the screen soothe me.

Wouldn't you say programming is a skill that you cultivated from nothing into a sprawling and fun career/hobby? It seems like you enjoy technology and you have the skills to prove it. Maybe life is about acquiring new skills and knowledge. Trying to become talented at something before we leave this planet.

 

[whatevs]

Wouldn't you say programming is a skill that you cultivated from nothing into a sprawling and fun career/hobby? It seems like you enjoy technology and you have the skills to prove it. Maybe life is about acquiring new skills and knowledge. Trying to become talented at something before we leave this planet.

You're right, it is something positive in many regards. It's just sad what tech and particularly mobile tech is doing to people. I'll have to cultivate my creativity elsewhere eventually. In the meantime, there's plenty of work...

 

[chocolatebar]

I remember when you mentioned the change in your routines, and I was so happy for you. It's sad to see you again in such a state of dissatisfaction...

But I can feel you. Finding distractions is so reinvigorating, but sooner or later, we will again face the unmasked reality. In the end, it seems that people just do that all the time: fill their routines with distractions and avoid thinking about life and the world as much as they can, but it seems to be impossible for us.

It seems that there's really something different with us, doesn't it? I ask myself that a lot. I have been thinking about making a post about it for some time, but I've been lacking the energy for that.

Sorry if I sort of changed the subject, it just came out form my mind.

 

[whatevs]

I remember when you mentioned the change in your routines, and I was so happy for you. It's sad to see you again in such a state of dissatisfaction...

But I can feel you. Finding distractions is so reinvigorating, but sooner or later, we will again face the unmasked reality. In the end, it seems that people just do that all the time: fill their routines with distractions and avoid thinking about life and the world as much as they can, but it seems to be impossible for us.

It seems that there's really something different with us, doesn't it? I ask myself that a lot. I have been thinking about making a post about it for some time, but I've been lacking the energy for that.

Sorry if I sort of changed the subject, it just came out form my mind.

You don't need to apologize, I enjoyed your contribution to the thread.