End of the line for me...

[Watermom]

Thank you.

Yes, it is.

I know you will have done it many times, but please stop and think once gain, before you catch that bus. The repercussions are just so enormous, not only for the person catching it (which my son did in September at age 25, on the verge of starting a new job), but for everyone who has ever loved you. We saw his great pain from major depression and generalised anxiety disorder, and how he bravely wrestled with it on meds for years, and eventually weaned himself off them under supervision, but the returning depression and angst was too much. We have had to try to accept and respect his decision; and your loved ones will have to try to accept yours, but the pain left has been simply unbearable. As his mom, I now am on the meds for depression; his dad, brother and I see him everywhere we look, we miss him everywhere, and have this huge hole ripped in our hearts and lives. We and his young friends can't even escape to the mountains he loved, the sadness of the memories of him there, and his no longer being ther, is too much. In catching the bus, be aware that you may be leaving your own pain behind, but you are also leaving agonising new pain for everyone who knew and loved you, and it will last forever -- or until they themselves - we ourselves - leave this complicated, wonderful, agonising life. Consider giving them another chance to share it with you, please? I would give anything to hold my beautiful son in my arms one more time... I send you such love and deep compassion, and enfold you in mine. Please try to stay...

 

[mediocre]

I wasn't able to get to know you but I hope you find peace.
safe travels to you

 

[MsMaudlin]

Sending you lots of love and peaceful vibes.
I'm new here too, feel free to contact me.
<3

 

[jgm63]

I know you will have done it many times, but please stop and think once gain, before you catch that bus. The repercussions are just so enormous, not only for the person catching it (which my son did in September at age 25, on the verge of starting a new job), but for everyone who has ever loved you. We saw his great pain from major depression and generalised anxiety disorder, and how he bravely wrestled with it on meds for years, and eventually weaned himself off them under supervision, but the returning depression and angst was too much. We have had to try to accept and respect his decision; and your loved ones will have to try to accept yours, but the pain left has been simply unbearable. As his mom, I now am on the meds for depression; his dad, brother and I see him everywhere we look, we miss him everywhere, and have this huge hole ripped in our hearts and lives. We and his young friends can't even escape to the mountains he loved, the sadness of the memories of him there, and his no longer being ther, is too much. In catching the bus, be aware that you may be leaving your own pain behind, but you are also leaving agonising new pain for everyone who knew and loved you, and it will last forever -- or until they themselves - we ourselves - leave this complicated, wonderful, agonising life. Consider giving them another chance to share it with you, please? I would give anything to hold my beautiful son in my arms one more time... I send you such love and deep compassion, and enfold you in mine. Please try to stay...

On this website, we need to respect people's decisions. It is correct to ask people to question things, but you will see that has already been done several times, and the OP is adamant that they wish to CTB.

Is your presence on this forum purely a pro-life stance ?

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I wish you a safe and peaceful journey to be as painless as possible ❤

 

[Hopeindeath!]

May you have the peace you seek.

 

[Soul]

Peace, @Freedom Believer, and light. Journey well x

 

[Watermom]

On this website, we need to respect people's decisions. It is correct to ask people to question things, but you will see that has already been done several times, and the OP is adamant that they wish to CTB.

Is your presence on this forum purely a pro-life stance ?

No it's not. If you have thoroughly explored all the options, and this is you choice, it is your right to act on it. And I respect my son's enormous courage doing so, in the considerate way he did. But I still don't believe that he (and many others) fully understood the repercussions for those left behind. I think he thought he was doing us a favour by leaving, and that we would get over it and be left only with the good memories and the love. And the memories and love are of course there by the ton. But the emotional pain and mental turmoil is excruciating and everlasting, and we are powerless to do anything about it. That needs to be fully considered, surely, when making such a decision. If catching the bus is then still what you need to do, so be it. It is your choice. I wish you peace and love.

 

[Sensei]

On this website, we need to respect people's decisions. It is correct to ask people to question things, but you will see that has already been done several times, and the OP is adamant that they wish to CTB.

Is your presence on this forum purely a pro-life stance ?

I respect your standpoint. That said, if it's a young person, if there are signs of hesitation, or if there are possible alternatives, I think it's reasonable to reach out. I think this forum, just like euthanasia clinics, should support well thought through exits by mature people, but discourage impulsive exits by young people. I don't want to argue in a thread like this, just offer my two cents.

Freedom Believer, if you're reading this and if you are 100 % sure that you're doing the right thing, I hope it will go well for you. I do recommend that you listen to what advice people have to offer, though. I'm sure you know by now that they are good people.

 

[jgm63]

I respect your standpoint. That said, if it's a young person, if there are signs of hesitation, or if there are possible alternatives, I think it's reasonable to reach out. I think this forum, just like euthanasia clinics, should support well thought through exits by mature people, but discourage impulsive exits by young people. I don't want to argue in a thread like this, just offer my two cents.

Freedom Believer, if you're reading this and if you are 100 % sure that you're doing the right thing, I hope it will go well for you. I do recommend that you listen to what advice people have to offer, though. I'm sure you know by now that they are good people.

I agree 100%, but anyone who reads the posts will see that several people have tried to suggest non-CTB options, but the OP is pretty firm that they want to CTB.

I guess some people don't have time to read the other posts, which can happen, so I suppose we should take that into account, so perhaps I was partly wrong in the comment I made....

 

[Jean4]

I know you will have done it many times, but please stop and think once gain, before you catch that bus. The repercussions are just so enormous, not only for the person catching it (which my son did in September at age 25, on the verge of starting a new job), but for everyone who has ever loved you. We saw his great pain from major depression and generalised anxiety disorder, and how he bravely wrestled with it on meds for years, and eventually weaned himself off them under supervision, but the returning depression and angst was too much. We have had to try to accept and respect his decision; and your loved ones will have to try to accept yours, but the pain left has been simply unbearable. As his mom, I now am on the meds for depression; his dad, brother and I see him everywhere we look, we miss him everywhere, and have this huge hole ripped in our hearts and lives. We and his young friends can't even escape to the mountains he loved, the sadness of the memories of him there, and his no longer being ther, is too much. In catching the bus, be aware that you may be leaving your own pain behind, but you are also leaving agonising new pain for everyone who knew and loved you, and it will last forever -- or until they themselves - we ourselves - leave this complicated, wonderful, agonising life. Consider giving them another chance to share it with you, please? I would give anything to hold my beautiful son in my arms one more time... I send you such love and deep compassion, and enfold you in mine. Please try to stay...

I understand your pain. Maybe this will help you understand.

My partner CTB 20 days ago (but who is counting.)

We met on this board. I too have had multiple attempts.

There is nothing you could have done to stop your son.

I tried to stop my partner, even though I knew it would not work. He found it amusing and let me, just so I knew I tried. He was so beloved here, and I know others tried.

Sometimes the pain is so great, that it outweighs the love.

I am in the unique situation that I can see both sides.

I want to die. The only reason I am here is because I promised my partner that I would not, because he felt it wasn't my time, and he told me not to follow him. I am trying to keep my promise to him.

I am in more pain than I can put into words. I loved my partner. Took me 51 years to find him. However, if his pain was greater than what I am feeling, it was the right thing to let him go, as I would rather take the pain for him.

I am sure you are in pain. I understand. Realize your son's pain was greater than his love for you, which I know he did.

And no. Medication, therapy and anything else you could have tried would have stopped him.

Consider it fate. None of us choose to be on this forum. None of us want this hand we were dealt in life. However, this is the hand we were given.

Enjoy the memories you had with your son. Come here and talk about him. We would love to hear about him. It helps. I go to my partner's goodbye post here and talk to him. Others do too, as it has become a shrine which is comforting to me.

Again, and it is only my opinion. I am dying Stan is gone. I can't function. I want to die. However, I am happy that the man I loved it out of pain. My pain is inconsequential. It isn't about me, it's about him and I am glad he is finally at peace.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Safe travels and I hope you find peace.

 

[Jean4]

No it's not. If you have thoroughly explored all the options, and this is you choice, it is your right to act on it. And I respect my son's enormous courage doing so, in the considerate way he did. I still don't believe that he (and many others) fully understood the repercussions for those left behind. I think he thought he was doing us a favour by leaving, and that we would get over it and be left only with the good memories and the love. And the memories and love are of course there by the ton. But the emotional pain and mental turmoil is excruciating and everlasting, and we are powerless to do anything about it. That needs to be fully considered, surely, when making such a decision. If catching the bus is then still what you need to do, so be it. It is your choice. I wish you peace and love.

No offense. 'I still don't believe that he (and many others) fully understood the repercussions for those left behind.'

It isn't about you. His death was to end his pain. Again. No disrespect. If you loved him, your pain would be secondary to his.

You would accept your pain and be thankful his is over.

This is coming from a person who had several attempts and 20 days ago, my future CTB.

My pain is inconsequential to him being out of his which was what is important to me.

Be blessed you had a son and a good relationship. Cherish the memories. Some of us have none, and will have nobody to mourn us.

His life mattered. He had a legacy and will be remembered. To me, that is a full life even if you consider it cut short. I wish you peace.

 

[Return2Dust]

I know you will have done it many times, but please stop and think once gain, before you catch that bus. The repercussions are just so enormous, not only for the person catching it (which my son did in September at age 25, on the verge of starting a new job), but for everyone who has ever loved you. We saw his great pain from major depression and generalised anxiety disorder, and how he bravely wrestled with it on meds for years, and eventually weaned himself off them under supervision, but the returning depression and angst was too much. We have had to try to accept and respect his decision; and your loved ones will have to try to accept yours, but the pain left has been simply unbearable. As his mom, I now am on the meds for depression; his dad, brother and I see him everywhere we look, we miss him everywhere, and have this huge hole ripped in our hearts and lives. We and his young friends can't even escape to the mountains he loved, the sadness of the memories of him there, and his no longer being ther, is too much. In catching the bus, be aware that you may be leaving your own pain behind, but you are also leaving agonising new pain for everyone who knew and loved you, and it will last forever -- or until they themselves - we ourselves - leave this complicated, wonderful, agonising life. Consider giving them another chance to share it with you, please? I would give anything to hold my beautiful son in my arms one more time... I send you such love and deep compassion, and enfold you in mine. Please try to stay...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your son was deeply loved.
I wish there was a way for friends and family to know the excruciating pain of intractable depression. For me, depression is a cancer of the mind. It robs your life of everything good, including the ability to feel love, hope and joy. Daily functioning becomes difficult. When someone passes from a terminal illness, friends and family mourn, but say their loved one is no longer suffering. There is no term date for "cancer" (mental illness) of the mind and "cures" are definitely lacking. The mental health system is broken. This leaves, at least me, seeking the option to chose a date to end my suffering, on my terms.
Your beautifully loved son is no longer suffering. You see him everywhere because he is with you in a happy and peaceful form. He wants you to escape to the mountain and carry him with you in happier times.

 

[Pan]

What exactly is fan fiction?

 

[Sensei]

What exactly is fan fiction?

Stories written by non-professional writers taking place in some fictional setting such as The X-Files or Star Trek and are published online.

 

[Pan]

Thanx.