Discussion Empty platitudes that you wish people would just stop saying to you

[DyingAlf]

Put yourself in their shoes. What are they supposed to say?

Something along the lines of "I'm so sorry you're feeling this way."
&, if they genuinely can & will be, maybe something like "I'm here for you, let me know if there's anything I can do to help".
There's no point in saying stuff that's just going to make a person feel worse.

 

[Mr2005]

Something along the lines of "I'm so sorry you're feeling this way."
&, if they genuinely can & will be, maybe something like "I'm here for you, let me know if there's anything I can do to help".
There's no point in saying stuff that's just going to make a person feel worse.

Yeah fair enough I just know when it comes to saying dumb things I'm not one to talk

 

[Lilacmoon]

"I'm going to fight you even if I relapse into cutting again, I'll fight you until you realize you have value."

I know I have value. That is not the problem, friend. And thank you for the extra pile of guilt too. Very helpful.

 

[xLosthopex]

I hate when people say things like "It will get better" and "But have you tried x,y,z?" And other unsolicited advice
These make me angry because it's like they're claiming to know more about my situation/illnesses/life better than I do.
Like how patronizing ? Excuse me but I know myself better than you do, you really think after spending my whole entire life living with my debilitating mental illnesses that I haven't considered whatever crappy suggestion you're giving me? The same crappy suggestion I've heard a million times?! (Eg: "But have you tried meditation??")

 

[muffin222]

Something along the lines of "I'm so sorry you're feeling this way."
&, if they genuinely can & will be, maybe something like "I'm here for you, let me know if there's anything I can do to help".
There's no point in saying stuff that's just going to make a person feel worse.

This exactly. This would be all I'd want to hear from people when I'm struggling. Why some people can't even utter these simple phrases, I'll never know. It's frustrating, but some people just don't know how to comfort someone with simple little words, for reasons I don't fully understand

 

[Lostandlooking]

I'm seeing a potential new therapist tomorrow and this is one of the things she has on her site:

'The headwind is the thing that makes the kite fly' (probably poorly translated but hopefully you get the idea)

I guess it's something like: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. Which I strongly dislike. It's the idea that we NEED adversity to become stronger, or to learn. It's the same when people say: 'Your trauma has made you stronger (or more resilient)' I don't feel that way at all. Trauma breaks you. Some compassion, understanding and positive experiences is what makes me stronger. I think those sayings are true only if the adversity isn't too much and a person is resilient.

Wish me good luck with the therapist.............

 

[Ghost2211]

"Maybe the future will be better". It's like... tf you basing that on?

 

[nerve]

"it's okay to not be okay :3"

Like no it's not, it's excruciating and I want the "not being okay" to end.