Venting Emotionless what about you?

[Nephis]

Most people on this forum will most likely CTB due to them hating the lives they have such as social, academic, and career problems or at least that's what it seems to me. however i have seemingly no issues in those areas i used to be bullied yes but after a while i became cold and indifferent to even that if i am suffering then i'm suffering due to extreme apathy meaning (if i'm right) my emotions are either crippled to beyond repair or i simply just can't feel many of them. Over the years i have learned to be able to fake my emotions by observing others and copying specific parts and using them to adapt to my social surroundings in short i'm a actor wearing a mask while also playing his lines from a recorder hidden in his pocket in order to do his performance (hope you understand the metaphore). But i'm tired of that i hate seeing people be so happy while i can't even feel that i can only put on a mask that has a smile plastered onto it, for that reason i wish to die. in a way it's strange or just perhaps rare after all the main reasons for suicide tend to be the one's listed above or at least those are the ones you would have expected but tell me are you the same? i'm sure many here put on a mask to hide the feelings they wish for others to not see. But what about the people who put on that mask with nothing but a empty hollow body? I haven't be able to experience emotions well for about 8 years now or rather if i have it's been one occasion of sadness, a few of envy, and then one of hate. BUT for this entire essay on why i wish to end it all is not because of the fact i'm emotionless rather what will become of me because i am, you see i wan't you to wonder what will become of a person who has no empathy for humans or animals what could possibly happen to that person? whatever reason you most likely came up with is probably my reason for dying as well.

~Thank you for reading this far for my rant as this also serves as a perspective or maybe an idea for some on how I live

 

[Nofaith]

I was going to ask about psychopathy but it's under your username. But at one point you used to feel?

 

[satou]

People like to tell stories, to make sense of it all. "This happened ... then that ... so now I feel like this." Some people experience horrible things and cope and live happily, others grow up as perfectly happy and ordinary, but still end up becoming depressed for no particular reason.

I have talked to people who describe their emotional life like you do in the past, but I think that they are less likely to post about it like you [self-reflective] just did ?

 

[Nephis]

I was going to ask about psychopathy but it's under your username. But at one point you used to feel?

I did better than i do now anyway but i slowly "lost" my emotions

 

[Nephis]

People like to tell stories, to make sense of it all. "This happened ... then that ... so now I feel like this." Some people experience horrible things and cope and live happily, others grow up as perfectly happy and ordinary, but still end up becoming depressed for no particular reason.

I have talked to people who describe their emotional life like you do in the past, but I think that they are less likely to post about it like you [self-reflective] just did ?

I'm seeking the opinion of other's and to see if anyone else is like me perhaps i can get tips to see if they themselves have ever felt anything and if i could use those techniques

 

[Nofaith]

I did better than i do now anyway but i slowly "lost" my emotions

But you must feel some type of emotion to want to end things?

 

[Nephis]

But you must feel some type of emotion to want to end things?

The reason i'm dying is not because of my lack of emotions rather what i may become i sure you know what happens to those who have extreme apathy in society

 

[samhelloall9]

it's more i feel i know i'm already burdening myself and others around me. my phobias, etc. plus, it's not like i really want to be here anyway, and thats not from me not appreciating the fortunate things in my life, more so life can be great one day and all it takes is a day to then see it all crash. you know, like people and car accidents or freak accidents. one day they were healthy and fine. next day a freak accident leaves them still alive but horribly disabled. there you go.
so that's my reasoning. but it's only mine.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

quiet a polite way of trying to convince psychopathy onto yourself

 

[samhelloall9]

All the best to you man.

 

[Nephis]

All the best to you man.

Thank you

 

[Nofaith]

The reason i'm dying is not because of my lack of emotions rather what i may become i sure you know what happens to those who have extreme apathy in society

They fake it (or not) but they grow old like everyone else. Some get married and have kids, fake emotions or not.

If you say you used to feel maybe you might again. From my understanding I thought psychopaths never had a stage in life where they felt emotions.

 

[Nephis]

They fake it (or not) but they grow old like everyone else. Some get married and have kids, fake emotions or not.

If you say you used to feel maybe you might again. From my understanding I thought psychopaths never had a stage in life where they felt emotions.

Mine gradually went away, aside from that i'm talking about those who lose there minds because of that apathy

 

[Deleted member 847]

Psychopaths are born. Nobody becomes a psychopath without brain damage.

 

[Deleted member 847]

You're a sociopath dude

 

[Nofaith]

Mine gradually went away, aside from that i'm talking about those who lose there minds because of that apathy

Well that's just it they don't, because it doesn't bother them if they are a psychopath.

 

[Nephis]

Psychopaths are born. Nobody becomes a psychopath without brain damage.

The whole case of the pyschopath being apart of my name is that i attribute it to my lack of empathy which is why i put "special" i don't label myself as one

 

[Nephis]

Well that's just it they don't, because it doesn't bother them if they are a psychopath.

Again I don't label myself as a psychopath it's merely something i use to to attribute myself it has no real meaning in terms of this vent

 

[Miss clefable]

So your a psychopath

 

[Nephis]

So your a psychopath

No it's a attribute to my lack of empathy towards humans i'm a sociopath as @NoLifeNoPain has stated

 

[Miss clefable]

No it's a attribute to my lack of empathy towards humans i'm a sociopath as @NoLifeNoPain has stated

Hugs

 

[Nephis]

Hugs

Thank you

 

[Nofaith]

Oh I see makes sense now.

In answer to your question people who feel nothing still grow old. It just might not be a very fulfilling life until you find something that makes you feel.

 

[Nephis]

Oh I see makes sense now.

In answer to your question people who feel nothing still grow old. It just might not be a very fulfilling life until you find something that makes you feel.

Hmm I see I have read on a website that they tend to become "corrupt"

 

[Miss clefable]

Are you afraid of what you will become is that the point

 

[Deleted member 847]

Noiseless, I'd say your mental condition is more of a blessing than a curse. It's easier to become successful (in society, not as a person) if you don't care about anyone else but yourself.

 

[Nofaith]

Hmm I see I have read on a website that they tend to become "corrupt"

I don't know about that. If we were talking about you being sociopath (not saying you are but hypothetically speaking) you could be prone to such behaviour but that's not a given.

I don't think you're a sociopath either but that's just my opinion.

 

[Nephis]

Are you afraid of what you will become is that the point

I'm not afraid rather if i ended up like that it would only spell trouble for me in the end such as "a long painful experience"

 

[Nephis]

@NoLifeNoPain you couldn't be anymore correct but i find it exhausting however i will consider your opinion when choosing if i live or die

 

[Nephis]

I don't know about that. If we were talking about you being sociopath (not saying you are but hypothetically speaking) you could be prone to such behaviour but that's not a given.

I don't think you're a sociopath either but that's just my opinion.

Also i have checked myself before i show at least 4 of the "symptoms" that someone with ASPD has