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SparkleWater

SparkleWater

Student
Oct 13, 2020
111
Turning 26 soon. its whether i die not or live the rest of my life without support. My job is kicking my ass rn and wont allow me to have health insurence. plus trying to find another job that offers it within my area is literally making me go insane cause none of them are reaching out.
once i get off my dads ill be without my medication. adderall, antidepressents, everything. To this country you either have your shit figured out by 26 or your better off dead.
Im too disabled to have fun. Too disabled to work. Get overstimulated over every little fucking thing imaginable. While other people are able to make strides in their life all i can do is rot away listening to the sound of my father snoring downstairs. I dont want to live like this. I dont want to live with my boyfriend. Im honestly convinced I cant love him. Everything he does annoys me. I'm basicly using him at this point for sex and support where i cannot get it from my family.
I cant even play minecraft without freaking out. Fucking minecraft. Put that into perspective. Im so disabled, so mentally ill that I cannot play a fucking voxel game.
My quality of life is beyond fucked. Has been for most of my life. Went through so long on this earth struggling to have my voice fucking heard and I'm fucking done. Let me fucking die. Let me out. I don't want to deal with any of this.
 
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